In reply to the "chilam episode"
On a serious note, age is just a digit and love has nothing to do with mathematical numerals. Love is a spontaneous outburst of feel good hormones irrespective of age. It is the person himself (who is lovelorn) to define the boundaries of morality, ethics and romanticism in the newfound relationship. Only the parties concerned can decide as to how far they should go on this difficult path without having any sense of guilt while evading the cruel onslaughts from external forces. One’s consciousness will signal him/her where to stop and one must listen to that signal. Any transgression of the signals emanating from one’s consciousness is bound to result in dangerous consequences. If the relationship is not acceptable by the family, friends, relatives and the well-wishers, it becomes a tight rope walk requiring a precarious balance and it is at this stage that “Chanayaka Diplomacy” assumes its role. Those who are wise enough are able to maintain this precarious balance, those who are bereft of practical wisdom and driven by sentiments only fail in their ordeal and fall in the trap spread by the orthodox society, due to false notions of prestige. Most of us are circumstanced by the self-proclaimed priests of morality to buckle under that pressure.
Apart from the friendship/intimate relationship between a boy and a girl, which is often described as love affair in common parlance, love has other dimensions also. A healthy, platonic and puritanical love between a man and a woman even after marriage is not a sin if they are able to sustain it without jeopardizing their family equations. Culmination of every such relation doesn’t necessarily leads to physical relations only. One can have friends of opposite sex at work place, in university, or in politics where intimate interaction is unavoidable and there is nothing wrong in it irrespective of age. I have seen people of all ages who are successful in their mission of making love even after marriage without jeopardizing their family/social harmony by maintaining tight secrecy. But it all depends on your capacity to hold back the secrets. On the other hand, I have seen people who fail to honor the oath of secrecy and indulge in bragging by sharing their pillow secrets to prove their virility. One should refrain from that, in my opinion for the sake of your own and your beloved’s prestige and dignity.
Man is born free and has every right to practice what he feels right. But having said that, I would like to acknowledge that this freedom has to be subjected to certain restrictions for maintaining harmony and decorum in society and we must honor those restrictions upto a reasonable extent keeping in view the practical difficulties and prevailing mindset of contemporary social milieu we are living in to avoid unnecessary hardships and also for the sake of our family.
On a serious note, age is just a digit and love has nothing to do with mathematical numerals. Love is a spontaneous outburst of feel good hormones irrespective of age. It is the person himself (who is lovelorn) to define the boundaries of morality, ethics and romanticism in the newfound relationship. Only the parties concerned can decide as to how far they should go on this difficult path without having any sense of guilt while evading the cruel onslaughts from external forces. One’s consciousness will signal him/her where to stop and one must listen to that signal. Any transgression of the signals emanating from one’s consciousness is bound to result in dangerous consequences. If the relationship is not acceptable by the family, friends, relatives and the well-wishers, it becomes a tight rope walk requiring a precarious balance and it is at this stage that “Chanayaka Diplomacy” assumes its role. Those who are wise enough are able to maintain this precarious balance, those who are bereft of practical wisdom and driven by sentiments only fail in their ordeal and fall in the trap spread by the orthodox society, due to false notions of prestige. Most of us are circumstanced by the self-proclaimed priests of morality to buckle under that pressure.
Apart from the friendship/intimate relationship between a boy and a girl, which is often described as love affair in common parlance, love has other dimensions also. A healthy, platonic and puritanical love between a man and a woman even after marriage is not a sin if they are able to sustain it without jeopardizing their family equations. Culmination of every such relation doesn’t necessarily leads to physical relations only. One can have friends of opposite sex at work place, in university, or in politics where intimate interaction is unavoidable and there is nothing wrong in it irrespective of age. I have seen people of all ages who are successful in their mission of making love even after marriage without jeopardizing their family/social harmony by maintaining tight secrecy. But it all depends on your capacity to hold back the secrets. On the other hand, I have seen people who fail to honor the oath of secrecy and indulge in bragging by sharing their pillow secrets to prove their virility. One should refrain from that, in my opinion for the sake of your own and your beloved’s prestige and dignity.
Man is born free and has every right to practice what he feels right. But having said that, I would like to acknowledge that this freedom has to be subjected to certain restrictions for maintaining harmony and decorum in society and we must honor those restrictions upto a reasonable extent keeping in view the practical difficulties and prevailing mindset of contemporary social milieu we are living in to avoid unnecessary hardships and also for the sake of our family.
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