suniljakhar
New member
Devender, I see a point in your perspective here. Agree that as people have right to marry out of their choice (inter caste, same caste, within or outside village etc…) so they do have a choice of having a baby gal or baby boy or not having one at all. I think nobody is questioning anybody’s choice here for the want of baby girl or baby boy; discussion is about why getting rid of baby girl for the want of baby boy which leads to uneven sex ratio.
Before I write anything else it’s worth answering your question first about “banning abortion” – as far as I know in both the cases (marrying with one’s own choice OR choice of having a baby gal/boy) Indian constitution doesn’t allow terminating life for whatsoever reason except terminating fetus on medical grounds. Abortion is already a legal crime and it’s banned in India long back.
If someone want a baby girl and the lady conceives a baby boy – should one opt for abortion risking mother’s life just because couple needed baby girl (except for medical grounds)? If a couple wants to exercise their choice selectively, they should ensure it before hand by any means whatsoever (seeking medical assistance, use of technology or apna deshi nuksa jo badde budle bataya kare - “andheri / Chandan” raat ka hasab katab
).
You have suggested to use of technology or other fair means – agree but what if these means fail somehow? Somebody having 4 girls and still going for 5th just in hope that it will be a boy this time should also see that it’s their responsibility (as a parent) to up bring them properly, to provide these kids with health and education. In absence of Govt’s facilities, if parents fail to do so, I personally consider this as equal a crime on our behalf –if we are not able to provide proper care to our child/children – it’s better to have no kid or have as many as kids which we can support comfortably. Of course need of the hour is to have least number of children.
It’s a matter of life & death issue first and then the social issue and “Skewed sex ratio & increasing population” are the direct implications, of course equally alarming in nature.
And big question is why a baby boy over baby girl? A few points WHY –
1. Ancestral property inheritance- In our society girls move out of parental family to join their husband’s family and don’t divide ancestral property (though law doesn’t stop them to have their right in property).
2. We live in future – ki budape me maari kaun dekh bhaal karega. Chhori to chali jaagi aagla k ghara, pher mara budapa baraan ho jaga. We spoil our present for the sake of our future. And we observe this future living in general as well.
3. Social Insecurity – Sayani chhori huya pachhe mari society me chhori ka lakdna mushkil ho ja he, maa baap ne din raat chinta hue rah he ak kad eska bya hoga arr kad marri responsibility khatam hogi. Who is responsible for “Social Insecurity” in our very own society?
4. Dowery – It might be changing it’s form now. Now a days people might not take cash/other household items but a simple demand is put to Girl’s family from boy’s family – Chaudhary saab hamne or kuchh na chahiye, bas baarat ki khatardaari theek kar diyo. Baarat ki theek thaak khatardaari karan k chakkar me chhori aala ki “kaach” bahar lakad le he. It takes 7 to 10 lacs to arrange a fairly simple marriage party. Aaalge 2 – 3 saal ka finance gadbada ja he chhori aalya ka je chhokha thaada byot na ho to. Upar te, our wrong notion in society ki chhore aalya ka kad badda ho he – donu thoka ka kad barabar kyun na ho sakta?
Ham maane ya na maane, when come to think of such social issues matter of the fact is that maare samaj me “Daugla pan” i.e double standard he and we talk double standard and live double standard. Period.
Before I write anything else it’s worth answering your question first about “banning abortion” – as far as I know in both the cases (marrying with one’s own choice OR choice of having a baby gal/boy) Indian constitution doesn’t allow terminating life for whatsoever reason except terminating fetus on medical grounds. Abortion is already a legal crime and it’s banned in India long back.
If someone want a baby girl and the lady conceives a baby boy – should one opt for abortion risking mother’s life just because couple needed baby girl (except for medical grounds)? If a couple wants to exercise their choice selectively, they should ensure it before hand by any means whatsoever (seeking medical assistance, use of technology or apna deshi nuksa jo badde budle bataya kare - “andheri / Chandan” raat ka hasab katab
). You have suggested to use of technology or other fair means – agree but what if these means fail somehow? Somebody having 4 girls and still going for 5th just in hope that it will be a boy this time should also see that it’s their responsibility (as a parent) to up bring them properly, to provide these kids with health and education. In absence of Govt’s facilities, if parents fail to do so, I personally consider this as equal a crime on our behalf –if we are not able to provide proper care to our child/children – it’s better to have no kid or have as many as kids which we can support comfortably. Of course need of the hour is to have least number of children.
It’s a matter of life & death issue first and then the social issue and “Skewed sex ratio & increasing population” are the direct implications, of course equally alarming in nature.
And big question is why a baby boy over baby girl? A few points WHY –
1. Ancestral property inheritance- In our society girls move out of parental family to join their husband’s family and don’t divide ancestral property (though law doesn’t stop them to have their right in property).
2. We live in future – ki budape me maari kaun dekh bhaal karega. Chhori to chali jaagi aagla k ghara, pher mara budapa baraan ho jaga. We spoil our present for the sake of our future. And we observe this future living in general as well.
3. Social Insecurity – Sayani chhori huya pachhe mari society me chhori ka lakdna mushkil ho ja he, maa baap ne din raat chinta hue rah he ak kad eska bya hoga arr kad marri responsibility khatam hogi. Who is responsible for “Social Insecurity” in our very own society?
4. Dowery – It might be changing it’s form now. Now a days people might not take cash/other household items but a simple demand is put to Girl’s family from boy’s family – Chaudhary saab hamne or kuchh na chahiye, bas baarat ki khatardaari theek kar diyo. Baarat ki theek thaak khatardaari karan k chakkar me chhori aala ki “kaach” bahar lakad le he. It takes 7 to 10 lacs to arrange a fairly simple marriage party. Aaalge 2 – 3 saal ka finance gadbada ja he chhori aalya ka je chhokha thaada byot na ho to. Upar te, our wrong notion in society ki chhore aalya ka kad badda ho he – donu thoka ka kad barabar kyun na ho sakta?
Ham maane ya na maane, when come to think of such social issues matter of the fact is that maare samaj me “Daugla pan” i.e double standard he and we talk double standard and live double standard. Period.
