A Girl.............

[priti]

Ranjana jiji

those who get exploited are more to be blamed than the exploiters.

Once you value yourself, your freedom, independence....people will fall in line.

ghani tension karan ki jarurat naa se....just go out and do what you want to do....obviously not at the stake of others.

aur future ke liye apne bachcho ko aisa banao.....we have a lot of influence as future mothers...saare chchora te ghar ke kaam karwaaiyo, khet mein laamni karan bhejiye, paani ke doghar ke saath ghunghat bhi kadwaiye arr chchoriyaan ne kirket khelan bhejiye

you dont know how much power we yield...dekh rathee ne te darr ke andolan bhi chched diya .... arr mhari parveen bhaan unne kati taare dikhawgi ibb .......

 

[arunshamli]

khet mein laamni karan bhejiye, paani ke doghar ke saath ghunghat bhi kadwaiye arr chchoriyaan ne kirket khelan bhejiye .......

Priti , laamni ka matlab k ho?

 

[vinodks]

As Rathee said, "financial independence" is an important factor that holds social and personal lives together, weaved in more meaningful inter-personal relationships. Factors like education, jobs, non-traditional employment for girl(I don't know why Indian army doesn't have females), equal opportunities and "turst" etc lead to economical as well as 'social' independence.

But I think it's "independence" part of the "financial independence" thats more importance which incorporates wider range of social aspects rather than just 'financial'... of course all is interrelated but there are other forms of independence too... Gagan is right, in west females have more financial independence but is quality of life linearly proportional to amount of independence gauzed in dollars?... No, see the divorce and adultry stats... so for Indian society, its little more than that and thats where traditional role of female walks in and completes the gap... of course traditional values and financial independence should not be gained on cost of each other but blindly following hardcore 'feminist' approach to issue may lead to "unstable equilibrium"... Virginia woolf, in her feminist piece "A room of one's own" says why there wasn't any female Shakespeare?, give them 500$ per month and a room of their own and you will produce hundred of them...
Agreed! but a more holistic approach would include traditional values too... Nature makes some more suited for some kind of role than others, so everyone should be free to to do what they want and "what they can"... Male and female are two beautiful pieces made by nature and they should fit each other in perfect harmony like Yin and Yang in order to have perfect happiness...

Any important thing is "context".. Indian and western society form slightly different contexts so approach should be 'context sensitive'... Modern Indian and ancient Indian (Ramayana) make different contexts... So historical and mythological incidents shouldn't be judged by applying modern "methods of questioning"(see the signature))) because values are very subjective... I can't defend Sita's agni prakisha but there were lots of good things in that value system(in which Ram symbolized 'the perfect man' and Sita 'the perfect woman'). In olden days people were happier than today because females and males were satisfied (secretly agreed) with their individual roles... but today 'context' is different so old ways shd be modified...

Priti, by blaming the exploited but not the exploiter, you mean females are subjugated by their own faults?... I don't agree... It's true that everyone is responsible for her/his own fate but social problems like this have to a large extent 'history and archiac instinct' embedded in it... All individuals don't get equal headstart for the race... its more too complicated to blame anyone...

Arun, lamni means 'crop-cutting' by hand(using sickle)....

Parveen Dangi, welcome again! kahan thi ab tak... wasse rathee ne majaak mein kahan tha ki larkiyon ko dabba rakhna chahiye... sochiye bhala koi aap jasse tufaani chhori ko koi dabba ke rakh sakta hai kya?)))

--vinod

 

[raj_rathee]

hm nice discussion,,,,,,,,,
hello all boys.......
now is modern world,, here gals can do everything vo jemane gaye jeb lerkiyon ko ghar mein ked rehna perdtha tha,, aaj ki lerkiyan bahar nikal chooki hai,, lerko ke sath kedam se kedam milkaer chal sekti hai...
sach keha jaye to lerko se bhi agge hai vo...
they r hardworking,,, go outside for work,, ghar ka kam sembalne mein,,, ker sekte hai yeh app kam,, "NO"u cant do that...
MR. RATHEE apne galat bola "these r wording of rathee.............
Bhaiyon, saachi baat tae ya sae, ki hummnae jitna ho sakae utna inko daba
ka raakhna hoga, na tae yeh mahara eh sar fodungee. Inn lugaayaan ne jitni
azaadi denge utni mahare sar pe baithengee, err jisa aaj inka haal sae ussa
eh mahara haal ho jaaga."


kise debba ker rekhoge......
aaj ki nari ko... gaya vo time....... vo tumhe cheker ketva sekti hai yeh dekhlena......
gals r superpower.specially from haryana........
so many gals r pilot, scientist, ias, keha keha nehi hai gals,,,,,,,,, her jegeh,
not a single place jeha gals nehi ho........
so gals can do anything wat she want..... before 10 or 15 years before parents think that why we waste money for gals for their studies etc etc... infact they goes to another family so there is totally wastage of money
but now a days times totally changed.......... gals kafi agge nikal chooki hai.........
so kehna galat hoga ki lerkiyon ko deba ker rekha jaye...........
sirf unhe ek mauka chayie agge niklne ka fir dekho kemal hum lerkiyon ka
JAIHIND

Hey Praveen...."Boooooooooooo !"

Dar to nahin gaye ? Iss baar humari Zhansi ki Rani bhoon-bhoon karti
resign to nahin kar jayengee ? Hun ?

Hey just kidding Praveen. Sacch toh yeh hai mein khud aapki post ko
dekh kar ek baar phir se bhaaj ke table ke nicche luk gaya tha
internet ka taar keench kar. Bhundi dhala kap kapee chad ree thee.
Eeb himmat kar key nikla hun....

Well anyways, so much for all the sweet talk...Good to see you
back.

I must admit that your surgeon like precision in cutting through the
chaf and getting to the key point being made by me is indeed remarkable.
I am pleasantly amazed every time I see you do it. Simply brilliant !
How DO you do it ?

Its soothing to see our modern day Jatnis so exceptionaly sharp. Truly
honored, Miss.

Aur Miss, yeh "Mr. Rathee" jab bhi bolte ho gaali si lagti hai. Sonepat
ke high school mein humara principal mujhe, aur pure school mein
sirf mujhe, hamesha "Mr. Rathee" bolta tha. Initially mujhe bacchon
ke liye role model samanjta tha. He he he. And then he began to know
better . Lekin he still kept calling me "Mr. Rathee". Baaki bacchon
ko "Haram Khor", aur mujhe "Mr. Rathee". Toh woh "Mr. Rathee" sunte he
kardi gaali laaga karti (janoon mehn-mehn daant ne bheech ke bhundi
bhundi kahen laag ra ho). Issliye Miss, yeh mister vister ne rahan do.

Now, coming to the subject matter (finally), it is comforting to
see you supremely confident of yourself. Not much to say here except that
one should be steadfastly confident rather than arrogantly confident.
[Arrogantly confident ne dekh ke chorre aale bhaag jaange... ].

However, the key question is not whether Rohtak ki Rani Dangi or a small
percentage or other females are supremely confident of themselves and
willing to take on the world, but whether the majority of our females
(and not just those of our community) are in a position to find
happy fulfilling lives on par with our males.

And, to that end, I believe it would be fair to say "No". So rather
than have a few select females scream themselves hoarse claiming that
they are the best and better than men, it might be interesting to step
outside that rather narrow circle, and see if majority of our women
can indeed claim just that. While it is nice that some, albeit gradual,
change is going on (and we see that in our parts of the world), it
should also be realised that we are a long way off from a society
fair and equal to both the genders.

 

[raj_rathee]

Fellas,

Regarding all the "trust" discussions...I am not undermining the value of
such interpersonal matters, or other Indian cultural specific issues. I do
understand and appreciate that. But these things and issues are soft
issues that can't be enforced. They are acquired and developed through
numerous avenues.

The reason I am laying emphasis on economic empowerment, is that,
and I believe only that, provides a level playing field. Issues of trust and so
on will be there as always even after all that. But they'll make more sense
when both sides are balanced.

 

[rameshlakra]

why men dont listen and women cant drive !

dear all,

Raj u have brought out very valid points in a not so serious note.Sujata ji, as usual, has a very thought provoking suggestion to make along with rest of the contributors.

A few things that were left out to dig out "why" could be:

1) there are some inherent differences between the two. The way men think is different than a women, and sooner one realises better is the degree of happiness.

2) The role they have are different and it is futile to compare as they make a complete and happy life by complementing each other.Mutual respect for each other's role is the solution rather then trying to compare leading to unstability.

3)Peace and respect for all is that required instead of banners

4) love rather than hatred gets u everything. Negativity takes nowhere. So it is the duty of the parents to teach kids what is expected out of them,the dignity of labour, providing unbiased oportunity of education.

 

[gaganjat]

So many ways are discussed to improve the situation which were always known to everyone. They all need to compliment each other and take a place in real life out of books and discussion.

Thats where human psychology needs to be fixed. Its a philosophical game

 

[praveendangi]

hmmmmmmmmmmm

very funny raj......
dont worry kona jao yehi rehugi.......
jo sach hai vo likha so wats wrong .......

Hey Praveen...."Boooooooooooo !"

Dar to nahin gaye ? Iss baar humari Zhansi ki Rani bhoon-bhoon karti
resign to nahin kar jayengee ? Hun ?

Hey just kidding Praveen. Sacch toh yeh hai mein khud aapki post ko
dekh kar ek baar phir se bhaaj ke table ke nicche luk gaya tha
internet ka taar keench kar. Bhundi dhala kap kapee chad ree thee.
Eeb himmat kar key nikla hun....

Well anyways, so much for all the sweet talk...Good to see you
back.

I must admit that your surgeon like precision in cutting through the
chaf and getting to the key point being made by me is indeed remarkable.
I am pleasantly amazed every time I see you do it. Simply brilliant !
How DO you do it ?

Its soothing to see our modern day Jatnis so exceptionaly sharp. Truly
honored, Miss.

Aur Miss, yeh "Mr. Rathee" jab bhi bolte ho gaali si lagti hai. Sonepat
ke high school mein humara principal mujhe, aur pure school mein
sirf mujhe, hamesha "Mr. Rathee" bolta tha. Initially mujhe bacchon
ke liye role model samanjta tha. He he he. And then he began to know
better . Lekin he still kept calling me "Mr. Rathee". Baaki bacchon
ko "Haram Khor", aur mujhe "Mr. Rathee". Toh woh "Mr. Rathee" sunte he
kardi gaali laaga karti (janoon mehn-mehn daant ne bheech ke bhundi
bhundi kahen laag ra ho). Issliye Miss, yeh mister vister ne rahan do.

Now, coming to the subject matter (finally), it is comforting to
see you supremely confident of yourself. Not much to say here except that
one should be steadfastly confident rather than arrogantly confident.
[Arrogantly confident ne dekh ke chorre aale bhaag jaange... ].

However, the key question is not whether Rohtak ki Rani Dangi or a small
percentage or other females are supremely confident of themselves and
willing to take on the world, but whether the majority of our females
(and not just those of our community) are in a position to find
happy fulfilling lives on par with our males.

And, to that end, I believe it would be fair to say "No". So rather
than have a few select females scream themselves hoarse claiming that
they are the best and better than men, it might be interesting to step
outside that rather narrow circle, and see if majority of our women
can indeed claim just that. While it is nice that some, albeit gradual,
change is going on (and we see that in our parts of the world), it
should also be realised that we are a long way off from a society
fair and equal to both the genders.

 

[priti]

Financial independence.....whom are you kidding man!

Priti, by blaming the exploited but not the exploiter, you mean females are subjugated by their own faults?... I don't agree... It's true that everyone is responsible for her/his own fate but social problems like this have to a large extent 'history and archiac instinct' embedded in it... All individuals don't get equal headstart for the race... its more too complicated to blame anyone...

--vinod

No, I mean who knowingly tolerate their subjugation are at fault. Female subjugation is due to a mix of factors. Everyone knows that. Either you keep living in the past by thinking if historical and archaic reasons for existence of female subjugation or you cope with it here and now. You have to put your foot down when your personal independence is being violated.

Now many of you would point out that to have that kind of awareness on where to put your foot down is difficult. Girls are born and broought up and conditioned to accept their subjugation. And there are many who are not entirely unhappy with that. They are the ones who do not question and accept things as they are. I would not want to bring them out in the bad bad world of financial independence. Let them be. Even virginia woolf would be happy to let them be.

But those who question and still tolerate....well what can i say!!

About the great idea of Financial independence....I did not want to go in this territory....a whole new cans of worms open here....there are two sources of financial independence for women...one is their share of property.....its translated into law now...but tell me even one sister who will willingly try to take her brothers' share against tradition....

Another is financial independence through career....now we are talking....to be an equal success in the financial world, either a women becomes like a man....i.e. forget about your biological role and just become another slave to the economy...or accept comparartively less successful career, less pensions, less income at the end of the day because of th career breaks she takes because of being a women. Now I'm not saying this is discrimination....this is perfect for a system which rewards you on your efficiency and time...

and whom are you kidding men, you want your women to be the perfect wife, perfect housekeeper, bear your children, be a prefect mother to them, a social glue and upon all of this....half bread winner too! my god...you really have very high opinion of us....i know women who accomplish all of this....but everyone is not superwomen....

and if women have to do all of this....what are you guys there for?? for cutting the grass!!! ....Girls, BEWARE, THIS IS ANOTHER MAN TRICK TO KEEP YOU SUPER BUSY BY DANGLING THIS CARROT OF FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE, GIVING FALSE SENSE OF CONFIDENCE AND INDEPENDENCE TO ENJOY THEIR LIVES AT LEISURE .....nothing changed has changed...its the same as old haryana setting where women work in the house and the farms and men play cards......always shirking responsiblity....where is the commitment from the other side??

 

[vinodks]

I don't mind cutting grass. I didn't say that women should be expected to do more than what they can. Of course women as house wives should spend little more time in household things like raising childern etc(there are few duties which are uninterchangable) than man but it all comes by personal choices and mutual understanding.
Wasse achha hai... ladkiyon ko independence ke naam par kaam karne do, apna kya jata hai... kamai to mil-baant ke hi khayenge

I am wondering whats the use of this thread. If this remain as other numerous discussions then its no use. Is anybody aware of any orgn which carries on similar work. There are orgn in other part of India which work for women empowerment e.g. Asha for Woman(not ASHA), Seva Bharti etc....
There is lack of such efforts in rural jatland because of attitude of people... anyway.

-Vinod

and whom are you kidding men, you want your women to be the perfect wife, perfect housekeeper, bear your children, be a prefect mother to them, a social glue and upon all of this....half bread winner too! my god...you really have very high opinion of us....i know women who accomplish all of this....but everyone is not superwomen....

and if women have to do all of this....what are you guys there for?? for cutting the grass!!! ....Girls, BEWARE, THIS IS ANOTHER MAN TRICK TO KEEP YOU SUPER BUSY BY DANGLING THIS CARROT OF FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE, GIVING FALSE SENSE OF CONFIDENCE AND INDEPENDENCE TO ENJOY THEIR LIVES AT LEISURE .....nothing changed has changed...its the same as old haryana setting where women work in the house and the farms and men play cards......always shirking responsiblity....where is the commitment from the other side??

 

[priti]

hey vinod, it wasn't aimed at you...tumne jyada seriously le liya.....was just taking shots at financial independence argument offered and supported as THE remedy of female subjugation...yeh to woh baat ho gayi ki jiski laathi uski bhains....it hasn't worked...we can see that in the western world as many of you have pointed out.

we have to go beyond these quickfixes....towards attitudes...and how to change attitudes...not only of men but of women too....insaan ko insaan ki tarah samjhane wala attitude....not as male, female, rich poor, upper caste, lower caste but first and foremost as a human by not tresspassing their human rights....and by respecting their personal decisions.

Ab maine itne bade bade word bol to diye....coming back from macro to micro....we dont even know in what context Ranjana started this thread....to be able to come up with a solution.....its all a discussion in the air...and i was in argumentative mood ....not to say this lessens the weight of my argument in any way....i just want an easy life in this age of double income consumption....and somebody to wash my low cut jeans

P.S. another thing i just realised is how hard it is for females to joke in such public forums...any jerk might just take it seriously and launch a moral campaign against me .....hope this prempties it

 

[vinodks]

Another thing I observed is that, why there aren't many aunties in Jatland.. there are young girls and males from all age groups but not many women(except few)... does it point to the fact that among jat houses(in India as well as outside) there exists unsaid preconception that elders women aren't capable of joining in intellectual discussion or are they too busy to come here or they have other hobbies... there were lots of nice aunties in NJ picnic in summer, the same ratio is not seen here in Jatland(women love to gossip, but why they are not joining in numerous gossips in jatland)... I am sure that household Jatnis must have much to contribute by giving their thoughts about various things e.g. what problem they face in raising childern in west and how best to reconcile two different cultures etc etc...

-vinod
PS: Priti, you should marry someone working in laundromat or a lawn mower(reminds me the series, 'desperate houewives')... BTW you know whats latest in fashion, its 'tranparent jeans'... I saw someone wearing in Halloween and you don't have to wash because its made of plastic

hey vinod, it wasn't aimed at you... i just want an easy life in this age of double income consumption....and somebody to wash my low cut jeans

 

[priti]

a little request vinod....when you quote me maybe its a good idea not to join two separate sentences as one...completely twists the context and meaning....

never watched desperate housewives but advice well taken....will start looking in all toronto laundromats.... ...agar yahan nahin pasand aaya koi to tum washington ke laundromats ka chakkar laga dena mere liye...

 

[vinodks]

Ok! point is taken.

V.

a little request vinod....when you quote me maybe its a good idea not to join two separate sentences as one...completely twists the context and meaning....

 

[vinodks]

I observed one thing.. threads starting with sensational and appealing post gather more replies than those with more balanced and serious post... This thread was basically emotional outburst from Ranjanaji who didn't care to repond after the first post... there shd be some kind of conclusive resolution in thread... random rambling of ideas get archived and forgotten... so what we all agree on female subjugation problem? now what?

V.

 

[praveendangi]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
wat happ vinod and priti........
this is a serious topic,,,,,,,,
but yeha sebhi discussions mein kafi meja ata hai ,, diff diff views
lege reho india lege reho jatto

 

[kiran.takhar]

Gagan bhai,
thanks a lot for such a beautiful n touching words.
Its a pleasent surprize to learn that you're very sensible as well as funny....proud of u!


best wishes,
Kiran.

A girl get married devote her life for family, even tolerate bad and still remains good. This situation is worst than a life imprisonment.

Even before marriage the things are conjusted to the maximum.

Our society has fixed a track for a girl. In most cases she has to go on the same track in her life but its her who keep on going without any complains.
Thats the only route which makes her adorable (otherwise not) in the eyes of the society.

Got to say these girls are the most powerful creatures of the universe.

Restriction and no end to the restriction ! Like a bird in a gold cage and in some cases a bird in a filthy cage. But everything seems to be a cage.

Its a cage coz there is no trust. And why dont we include the suffering of a man. Yes he suffers too as he is always attached with woman but stil doesnt give freedom.

A man suffers like a woman but still keep the strings in his hands which is a big show off of masculanity.

People got to know how to trust a relation and trust is not imposition or compromise.

People have to live life staying together rather than spending life together but not living together.

Gender related problems emerged in dawn after Adam and Eve when trust took the back seat.

Not trusting wont make things better but trusting will definitely make the things better coz there will be no cage.

Its important for these fathers , mothers,husbands, brothers or whoever, to trust their female relations and give them some space to do something in personal & professional life as a humans and an identity. Law cant enforce it, society wont tell it, degree wont teach it and its all about living it yourself. ‘Trust’ will be a trend and faith in coming years coz people will be helpless and they will realise what life is.

‘Trust’ it sounds like philosophical thing but not that practical for our society.
But when everything else is tested and we know the results. This is what we need to try, wont fail for sure!

 

[vinodks]

I am not going to give up this thread without some kind of conclusive resolution... discussions should lead to logial extension 'so what we can do now?'... We talk so much about development and all and people join in competition of giving brilliant ideas, but is that all?... discussion is not end but a medium and we had requested moderators to make separate forum to discuss developmental issues where things can be organised in systematic way but looks like members are required to do 'tapasya' to make those gods hear our voice(atleast they should join in discussion and give reason why members' demands can't be fulfilled)...

Anyway, serious posters are requested to think along development(women's in particular here) lines personally, in the sense that people should get into mode of thinking about their role in overall scenerio... where do they fit and what can/can't they do... physical distance and busy lives inhibit people in coming together to work even though they want... but one can atleast start developing that kind of attitude and they can fit in with some organization when time comes... individuals can look around and see what orgnizations are active in their local region and start getting involved... I know I am not very articulate here but thats what....

About women's development we talked about economical independence, interpersonal relationship(trust etc) and attitude change etc... and then there lots of bifurcation in each of these... over which of these factors individual has control?... we have control/effectiveness only in personal circle... the range of effectiveness is brodened through two means, government and organizations... the first option has its own way of bringing change and it can be talked separately but its the second channel through which we can do...
So look around for opportunities, be conscious.... E.g. following orgns are working in relevant areas directly or indirectly....

List of orgns in Gurgaon/Fridabaad: http://faridabad.nic.in/social.htm
Aparna: http://www.arpana.org/service/haryana.asp
SNS foundation: http://www.jagritifoundation.org/organizations.asp?Country=India
Vedic Shiksha Samiti and Community Development Society http://www.wcd.nic.in/blackdwcd.htm
http://faridabad.nic.in/Administration/women.htm
http://www.wcd.nic.in/women.htm

Thanks
Vinod

 

[sampuran]

A Girl......

Ranjanaji Ram Ram. You have managed to tickle the readers’ minds to think. Dhanyavaad!
Bhai Dev Dahiya is right – Answer in NOT simple. I couldn’t agree any more with every word of his. Pritiji has talked about attitudes. That’s really the crux. How do we change attitudes of enough no of people so that it becomes a chain reaction ?

LAW CANT ENFORCE, SOCIETY WONT TELL, DEGREE WONT TEACH – THAT IS TRUST. Bhai Gaganji that was a nice comment.
Lastly thanks to Bhai Vinod Sangwan for carrying it forward to conclusion and providing
A list of relevant organizations.
But I would differ with Kalkhandeji and Vinod Sangwanji . Sex based partiality was not common in ancient India as some people would like us to believe. Let me give some samples directly from the Rig Ved.

There are numerous hymns in the Vedas that deal with the social customs then prevalent, and from them one can form a broad idea as to how girls and women were looked upon, treated, and the status accorded upon them by contemporary society.
We begin with the field of education. Several hymns in the Vedic canon are composed by female saints, amongst whom are Maitrayi, Gargi, Ghosa and Vak. Evidently, they were highly learned as otherwise it would have been impossible for them to compose complex Vedic stanzas. And needless to say they must have held much respect for their work to be included in the major sacred literature of the time. Several verses throughout the Vedas make it clear that girls with learning were regarded highly.
An unmarried learned daughter should be married to a groom who like her is learned. Never think of giving in marriage a daughter of very young age. (Rig Veda III 55:16)
One finds a similar stanza in the Yajur-Veda which says:
A young daughter who has observed Brahmacharya (i.e. finished her studies) should be married to a bridegroom who like her is learned. (Yajur-Veda VIII. 1)
We find a similar emphasis on female education in the Atharva Veda also. It can therefore be concluded that young girls during Vedic times were given education after undergoing an initiation ceremony just like the boys.
Having thus seen that it was customary during those ancient times for a young maiden to receive education, let us now review the institution of marriage then in vogue. The first question that comes to mind is regarding child marriage. Scholars agree that in the Rig-Vedic period, it was rare that a girl should be married before the age of 16. The fact that a very young marriage was not recommended can be seen from the Rig-Vedic verse quoted above. (Rig Veda III 55:16). Many marriages, like that in Hindu society today, involved the intercession of the families of those involved, but a maiden was consulted and her wishes taken into account when the matrimonial alliance was being discussed. Vedic society also went out of its way to enable young men and women to intermingle. Carnivals called "Samsanas" used to be organised from time to time when young people of both sexes would assemble and engage in merry making. Young women often married a man whom they met in these gatherings. Given below is a description of a "samana" from the Rig-Veda.
Wives and maidens attire themselves in gay robes and set forth to the joyous feast; youths and maidens hasten to the meadow when forest and field are clothed in fresh verdure to take part in dance. Cymbals sound and seizing each other lads and damsels whirl about until the ground vibrates and clouds of dust envelop the gaily moving throng.
This implies that in Vedic times there was considerable freedom in choosing one’s matrimonial partner. There is no reference in the entire Rig-Veda to child marriage. On the other hand, one finds many allusions to older ladies desirous of finding husbands; such ladies went to the "Samanas" referred to previously in quest of matrimony. One finds some instances of the marriage of women well past the child-bearing age, for instance Ghosa, a well-well known female sage, married only at a late age to the renowned seer Kakasivan.
We now turn to the institution of marriage itself as it existed during Vedic times. It is believed by many, especially in the West, that the concept of genuine love and partnership between husband and wife is alien to Hindu life, attributed to the so-called "arranged marriage system", that was prevalent in India over the last few centuries, and that women were always routinely maltreated in the homes. From the description we receive from the Vedas, this was not the case. The bride was to assume a position of reverence and even dominance in the household, there was certainly no question of sanctioning oppression either by her husband or in-laws. This would become clear from the following verses:
"Come, O desired of the gods, beautiful one with tender heart, with the charming look, good towards your husband, kind towards animals, destined to bring forth heroes. May you bring happiness for both our quadrupeds and bipeds." (Rig Veda X.85.44)
"Over thy husband’s father and thy husbands mother bear full sway. Over the sister of thy lord, over his brothers rule supreme.” (Rig VedaX.85.46)
Happy be thou and prosper with thy children here; be vigilant to rule thy household, in this home. (Rig-Veda X.85.27)
To sum up therefore, one can say that the bride in the Vedic ideal of a household was far from unimportant and contemptible. Even a blind maiden was not considered a taboo, and was treated with sympathy.
Before we close our discussion on the prevailing marriage system in Vedic society, a word or two about the custom of dowry would be in order. It was appeared that the bride was given large amounts of wealth, which they carried with them to their new home, but that the woman had an unfettered right to do with it as she pleased. Yet the idea that women who are wealthy (and hence would bring increased wealth into the family) are more attractive to suitors is present:
How much a maiden is pleasing to the suitor who would marry for her splendid riches. (Rig-Veda X 27.12)
The woman whose husband had met an untimely death was told to come back to the world of the living and remarriage was a possibility if she so willed. One verse describes this:
Rise up woman thou art lying by one whose life is gone, come to the world of the living, away from thy husband, and become the wife of him who holds thy hand and is willing to marry thee. Rig Veda (X, 18.8)
As a wife a woman was given affection and respect in Vedic times. As a mother she became a figure of profound reverence. "Treat your mother as a Deva" is a common dictum in Hinduism. Indeed God is described as "mother" in many verses, which is quite different to the references to God solely as male in most religious systems. The Divine cannot be limited to a simply masculine conception. As an expression of universal spirituality that reflects an intimate and experiential connection with the Divine, the Vedas recognises that the Divine contains both masculine and feminine attributes.

Hindu history, art and literature have not portrayed women only in a docile and submissive role. Women have been eulogised as being rulers, brave, mighty, capable of supreme sacrifices, and super-human righteous wrath which can destroy the world. These virtues were also considered aspects of the feminine character. Is their any more direct evidence for this than the awe-inspiring image of the great goddess Durga?

 

[sampuran]

A Girl...

Indeed those who have bothered to research the history of ancient Hindu society have supported the idea of the dignified and reverenced position of women. The following are some comments in this regard:
"Women were held in higher respect in India than in other ancient countries, and the Epics and old literature of India assign a higher position to them than the epics and literature of ancient Greece. Hindu women enjoyed some rights of property from the Vedic Age, took a share in social and religious rites, and were sometimes distinguished by their learning. The absolute seclusion of women in India was unknown in ancient times." R. C. Dutt - The Civilisation of India
"Women enjoyed far greater freedom in the Vedic period than in later India. She had more to say in the choice of her mate than the forms of marriage might suggest. She appeared freely at feasts and dances, and joined with men in religious sacrifice. She could study, and like Gargi, engage in philosophical disputation. If she was left a widow there were no restrictions upon her remarriage." Will Durant - Story of Civilization: Our Oriental Heritage
"And it may be confidently asserted that in no nation of antiquity were women held in so much esteem as amongst the Hindus." Professor H. H. Wilson
“It may be noted too that in law and theory at least women in ancient India, contrary to the sentiments of other ancient peoples, were not denied civic rights, although in practice this equality was rendered all but nugatory for all but a few by their social subordination to the male and their domestic preoccupation; instances have yet survived in the existing records of women figuring not only as queens and administrators and even in the battlefield, a common enough incidence in Indian history, but as elected representatives on civic bodies.” Sri Aurobindo – Foundations of Indian Culture
Some more thought on similar lines can be found