Anger and lots of it by most!
Phool hit the nail on the head , pretty sure the days of this couple are numbered!
But as Jit points out , we should not be looking at this behaviour in a case by case basis but rather as a phenomenon which has started to happen and increasing by the day!
Sunita ji probably got very near to it , the rapid depletion of the affection between the two families is the cause ( the biggest one to me !)
Do not believe the discussion can really achieve anything if we do not scrutinise things in good detail , so let me try and be the devil's advocate .
Have read all the posts and some thing really worry me ( because I guess people have not pondered over it well before really writing those lines! )
Please reflect over the following points in your spare time:
1) We are so agaisnt the marriage in the same village but what if these things happen in colonies. I have seen many marriages happen in the same colony ( for example : I lived in palam colony near Dwarka , its like a half-village types , not so big , I have seen many arrange marriages happen within the colony)! Is proximity the criterion to be against ? Not really!
People seem to be fine about intercaste , in which we donot have any idea about the person , so to me , such marriage is a random marriage in terms of choice , why can't that choice be extended to let's say the same village and same gotra!
2) Deepika mentioned that it is height of lust and desperation ! I beg to differ because the couple involved know with all their conscience that whole family , village and society will be against them. If lust and desperation was an issue they could have enjoyed themselves and parted! If they were meek and weak (and the strength of personality reflects pretty much in the relationships ) they would had a weak realtionship and so would not take such ahuge step! On one hand we talk of true love and on another we are n eglecting examples which might come close!
(I can already hear an uproar against me !)!
3) Parents are not to blame ? Give me a break for God's sake! No parents are fool not to know waht their children are upto. I am very much sure that in 95% of these cases parents know every iota of the things and they make amtters worse for everyone! It is this haste of them to ge ttheir daughter or son married off to someone else which ignites these couples to run away !
Talking to them , convinving them , counseling them , pleading to them ( if need be ! ) , giving them time to ponder over things is much better a solution than giving them only a few days to think( in a sense not think! ) and do silly things!
Also I am very much convinced that there is something missing in the parenting else children do not move to such extreme and irrational behaviour!
Next look at the consequences of a successful campaign against such couples:
1) You get let's say the girl married off to someone. One you are spoiling a person's life ( the guy to whom she's married) , then his immediate family! Marriage is a confluence of two people on physial , mental , spiritual , emotional domains and you are ruining the guy's life for no fault of him ? Same for the other pair.
Now coming to point of teaching such people/couples a lesson , ummm.. pretty tricky to me!
I know a family in which elder daughter did an intercaste , the younger also wanted to ( some 6-7 years later than the first incident ) do the same , parents were dead agaisnt it (they had no contacts with the elder daughter as well during all these years) , and tried to get the girl married (hurriedly!) to a guy and guess what the girl did: She faked up everything and made sure she convinced her parents that she is with them in everything and then eloped away one fine day!
So do these people learn ? NO!
I know a lot's coming my way ! Let's see how much I can be of help in getting a good discussion going!
Anil,
I agree with your points. I can understand that such a thing is to our distaste. But living in a democracy and enjoying fundamental rights means that we should respect others' right as well. If someone wants to go against the society, it is their choice. They'd suffer in terms of relations. But all this chest thumping about an essentially personal choice is ridiculous.
Coming to the reasons, I think the difference between a colony and a Jat village is that in the village, everyone born there is supposed to be a big family (brothers and sisters). A colony is by definition a collection of people from different backgrounds, so there is no inherent bhaichara. You can have an affair with your neighbour's daughter and there might be a lot of sh*t show about it between the families, but no one in their right mind can come out and say that she was your sister. But that is the argument in a village. So I have full sympathy for villagers' sentiments as this is against their faith. But that is that. Life is unfair, they did something you don't like, you have to live with it. The panchayat can serve the people better by indulging in some developmental activities rather than issuing illegal death warrants.
As far as causes are concerned, I don't think it is due to some inherent lack of affection or morals in the said individuals. Or lack of parenting, etc. etc. We can feel good about ourselves by showing them in bad light, but that is all it can achieve. Things change with time. Society has changed enormously and is changing every day. Just 50-100 years back, we also had sati, child marriage, no education for women, untouchability. And all these are things recognised as EVIL right now- just a few decades ago they were the norm. Now villages have cable TV. They may not live in cities, but what happens in cities is beamed in their houses. Also villages themselves have grown in size and there is no inherent sense of brotherhood when you don't even know the other person. In that context, it would be a leap of faith to expect village youngsters to behave any differently from their city counterparts. I atleast give credit to this couple for going the whole hog and marrying rather than being in a short term 'leisure' relationship (which is a reality in villages these days as much as we dislike it). Which brings me to my final point- why play god when each one of us would have our own shortcomings. Remember these lines from a song picturised on Rajesh Khanna "Aaj is paapi ko milke hum dand denge saare, par jo paapi na ho wohi pehle patthar maare".
jokes apart....to be very honest there's nothing to argue about as u expressed ur views about it and i framed mine.We all can't have the same opinion as we all are born with different minds
. I was saying the same thing , NO BODY HERE HAS ADVOCATED THESE MARRIAGES!