ravinderjeet
New member
sayaana bandaa se.worldwide franchieses koni kholi ke eeb tai isne.
^^ JATland community mail box ^^
- Thread starter brahmtewatia
- Start date
A
anilsinghd
Guest
Impact of Job Change
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said:
"Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!".
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years..... you can imagine what went into my mind when u touched my back!
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said:
"Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!".
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years..... you can imagine what went into my mind when u touched my back!
nishantrathi82
New member
A case of Kiss and Slap
Mussharaf, Manmohan, Aishwarya Rai and Sonia are
traveling in a train. The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and
then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharaf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.
Sonia is thinking:These Pakistanis are all crazy after Aishwarya. Musharaf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.
Aishwarya is thinking:Musharaf must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.
Musharaf is thinking
amn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.
Manmohan is thinking:If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Musharaf again.
Mussharaf, Manmohan, Aishwarya Rai and Sonia are
traveling in a train. The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and
then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharaf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.
Sonia is thinking:These Pakistanis are all crazy after Aishwarya. Musharaf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.
Aishwarya is thinking:Musharaf must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.
Musharaf is thinking
amn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.Manmohan is thinking:If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Musharaf again.
babloodalal
Banned
rakeshsehrawat
New member
Perception
..something to think about...
Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes.. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.
4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk..
6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.
45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.
1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.
This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?
One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made.... How many other things are we missing?
..something to think about...
Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes.. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.
4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk..
6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.
45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.
1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.
This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?
One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made.... How many other things are we missing?
ravinderjeet
New member
rakeshsehrawat
New member
Kids View of Marriage and Relationships
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." Alan, age 10
"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." Kirsten, age 10
*******
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
"Twentythree is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then." Camille, age 10
"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married." Freddie, age 6
*******
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." Eddie, 6
"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." Derrick, age 8
*******
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
"Both don't want no more kids." Lori, age 8
*******
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8.
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." Martin, age 10
*******
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." Craig, age 9
*******
WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEONE?
"When they're rich." Pam, age 7
"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." Curt, age 7
"The rule goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do." Howard, age 8
*******
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them." Anita, 9
"Single is better, for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaperchanging." Kirsten, age 10
*******
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?" Kelvin, age 8
"You can be sure of one thing the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now." Roberta, age 7
*******
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck." Ricky, age 10
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." Alan, age 10
"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." Kirsten, age 10
*******
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
"Twentythree is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then." Camille, age 10
"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married." Freddie, age 6
*******
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." Eddie, 6
"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." Derrick, age 8
*******
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
"Both don't want no more kids." Lori, age 8
*******
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8.
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." Martin, age 10
*******
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." Craig, age 9
*******
WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEONE?
"When they're rich." Pam, age 7
"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." Curt, age 7
"The rule goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do." Howard, age 8
*******
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them." Anita, 9
"Single is better, for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaperchanging." Kirsten, age 10
*******
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?" Kelvin, age 8
"You can be sure of one thing the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now." Roberta, age 7
*******
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck." Ricky, age 10
rakeshsehrawat
New member
The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honour! this American should be put in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong Bitch out of the window.
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honour! this American should be put in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong Bitch out of the window.
sunillathwal
New member
Socialism- A simple analogy
An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before but had once failed an entire class.
That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A."
---> After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.
The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.
---> As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy.
---> When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.
The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
---> All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
Could not be any simpler than that.
An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before but had once failed an entire class.
That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A."
---> After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.
The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.
---> As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy.
---> When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.
The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
---> All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
Could not be any simpler than that.
A
anilsinghd
Guest
akshaymalik84
Active member
Two Nuns
There were two nuns..
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL) .
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man is following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM : So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL : The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM : Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL : The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM : And?
SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There were two nuns..
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL) .
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man is following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM : So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL : The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM : Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL : The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM : And?
SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A
anilsinghd
Guest
Fearing that a separate thread might invite wrath of mods on the copy paste stuff, I put it here:
===============
Teen LINGO.
1. First, teens don't spell conventionally. It's not teens. It's teenz. The golden rule: If it's plural, replace the S with the Z. Add how many ever 'z's you want if it's the last letter in the word. Such as boyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, folkzzzzzz, galzzzzzzzz etc. Similarly, if it's a word that begins with C, replace it with K. Kool?
2. Get yourself a crash course in abbreviation. The most important of them all is LOL - laugh out loud. Using LOL during a chat or in a text message indicatez ur kool. You don't have to worry about Upper case or Lower case because most teenz are Case blind. lolzzzzz! If you suspect you've overused it, don't worry, teens don't care about overdose. But just to demonstrate your vocabulary, you could also use ROTFL (rolling on the floor laughing), ROTFLWTIME (rolling on the floor with tears in my eyes) or even make up your own code and spread it.
3. Boycott vowels and if there's a double letter in the word, use just one or replace it with a vowel that sounds more like it. Sample: Look would become luk. Better wud bcum btr, ok? In fact, ok itself is considered a waste of a whole letter since O is understood, rather silent, when teenz say the word. So it's just K.
4. All official or formal sounding words have been purged from teen lingo. So please spelt pl still sounds formal and hence to communicate the kool vibe, please is spelt pliss or plees, love is spelt lou, alright becomes awrite or aite and sorry becomes sowwie. Yes, teens like baby talk... So always start a sentence with Awwwww... and end with kissie wissie or huggie wuggie. You can also end with any number of question or exclamation marks because teens love being dramatic...awwww! so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not all teens use the wrong spelling because they want to save a few letters from being used, some of them use it to illustrate or stress the importance of magnitude of the emotion with which the word is said. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Soooooooooooooooooo Cuuuuuuute!!!!! Huggie Wuggie. Kissie!
5. Teens don't understand nouns. They have one word that refers to all material and abstract nouns - Thingie. And one word to be used as adjective - bling. Watz dat thingie u hd 2 do dis wk? Gimme ur thingie 2day. They have two words when they have to talk about someone - Dude or Babe. Hey luk, dat dude frm da dance thingie v wnt 2 las wk cald. He 'nt wt dat bling babe NE mo. kool noooo?! lolzzzzzz!
============
===============
Teen LINGO.
1. First, teens don't spell conventionally. It's not teens. It's teenz. The golden rule: If it's plural, replace the S with the Z. Add how many ever 'z's you want if it's the last letter in the word. Such as boyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, folkzzzzzz, galzzzzzzzz etc. Similarly, if it's a word that begins with C, replace it with K. Kool?
2. Get yourself a crash course in abbreviation. The most important of them all is LOL - laugh out loud. Using LOL during a chat or in a text message indicatez ur kool. You don't have to worry about Upper case or Lower case because most teenz are Case blind. lolzzzzz! If you suspect you've overused it, don't worry, teens don't care about overdose. But just to demonstrate your vocabulary, you could also use ROTFL (rolling on the floor laughing), ROTFLWTIME (rolling on the floor with tears in my eyes) or even make up your own code and spread it.
3. Boycott vowels and if there's a double letter in the word, use just one or replace it with a vowel that sounds more like it. Sample: Look would become luk. Better wud bcum btr, ok? In fact, ok itself is considered a waste of a whole letter since O is understood, rather silent, when teenz say the word. So it's just K.
4. All official or formal sounding words have been purged from teen lingo. So please spelt pl still sounds formal and hence to communicate the kool vibe, please is spelt pliss or plees, love is spelt lou, alright becomes awrite or aite and sorry becomes sowwie. Yes, teens like baby talk... So always start a sentence with Awwwww... and end with kissie wissie or huggie wuggie. You can also end with any number of question or exclamation marks because teens love being dramatic...awwww! so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not all teens use the wrong spelling because they want to save a few letters from being used, some of them use it to illustrate or stress the importance of magnitude of the emotion with which the word is said. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Soooooooooooooooooo Cuuuuuuute!!!!! Huggie Wuggie. Kissie!
5. Teens don't understand nouns. They have one word that refers to all material and abstract nouns - Thingie. And one word to be used as adjective - bling. Watz dat thingie u hd 2 do dis wk? Gimme ur thingie 2day. They have two words when they have to talk about someone - Dude or Babe. Hey luk, dat dude frm da dance thingie v wnt 2 las wk cald. He 'nt wt dat bling babe NE mo. kool noooo?! lolzzzzzz!
============
akshaymalik84
Active member
That's a true boyfriend
A young man walked into a jeweler’s shop late one Friday, with a
beautiful young lady on his side.
"I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend" he said.
The jeweler looks through his stock, and takes out an outstanding
ring priced at $4500.
"I don't think you understand ... I want something very unique", he said.
At that, the jeweler went and fetched his special stock from the safe.
"Here's one stunning ring at $33000."
The girls' eyes sparkled, and the young man said that he would take it.
"How are you paying?"
"I'll pay by cheque, but of course the bank would want to make sure
that everything is in order, so I'll write a cheque and you can phone
the bank Monday and I'll collect the ring on Monday afternoon".
Monday morning a very irate jeweler phones the man.
"You lied there's no money in that account."
"I know, but can you imagine what a Fantastic WEEKEND I had?"
A young man walked into a jeweler’s shop late one Friday, with a
beautiful young lady on his side.
"I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend" he said.
The jeweler looks through his stock, and takes out an outstanding
ring priced at $4500.
"I don't think you understand ... I want something very unique", he said.
At that, the jeweler went and fetched his special stock from the safe.
"Here's one stunning ring at $33000."
The girls' eyes sparkled, and the young man said that he would take it.
"How are you paying?"
"I'll pay by cheque, but of course the bank would want to make sure
that everything is in order, so I'll write a cheque and you can phone
the bank Monday and I'll collect the ring on Monday afternoon".
Monday morning a very irate jeweler phones the man.
"You lied there's no money in that account."
"I know, but can you imagine what a Fantastic WEEKEND I had?"
nishantrathi82
New member
People with weak heart don’t see….plzzzzz!
Heart Breaker
Heart Breaker
Holidays In 2010:
Festival
Date
Day
SANKRANTI
14-Jan-2010
Thursday
REPUBLIC DAY
26-Jan-2010
Tuesday
MILAD-UN-NABI
27-Feb-2010
Saturday
MAY DAY
01-May-2010
Saturday
INDEPENDENCE DAY
15-Aug-2010
Sunday
GANESH CHATURTHI
11-Sep-2010
Saturday
GANDHI JAYANTI
02-Oct-2010
Saturday
VIJAYA DASHAMI / DASSHERA
17-Oct-2010
Sunday
DEEPAVALI / BALI PADYAMI
05-Nov-2010
Friday
CHRISTMAS
25-Dec-2010
Saturday
nishantrathi82
New member
Most important thing if u r Planning to Switch companies…………..
Male to Female Ratio Among IT Professionals
Company Male/Female Ratio
Rolta 24:1
Mascon Global 19:1
HCL Infosystems 12:1
Adobe 11:1
EDS 500: 1
Digital Globalsoft 7:1
HCL Technologies 6:1
Sun Microsystems 6:1
HP 5:1
Capgemini 3:1 ( Not Bad J )
Infosys 3:1 ( Not Bad J )
Kshema Technologies 4:1
T-systems 3:1 (Not Bad J )
Wipro 4:1
TCS 4:1
SAP 4:1
Hughes Software Systems 4:1
iFlex 4:1
Philips 3:1 (Not Bad )
Cognizant Technology 3:1 (Not Bad )
Perot Systems 1: 10 (Very Good )
THOMSON FINANCIALS 1:15 (Toooo gooooood)
Satyam Computer Services 5:3
Syntel 9:1
Toshiba 25:1
L&T 2000:negligible (That too Aunties)
Gals look out for EDS
And Guys please look for Thomson Financials and Perot Systems
Someone HELP L&T Guys.
Start planning accordingly!
:rock
Male to Female Ratio Among IT Professionals
Company Male/Female Ratio
Rolta 24:1
Mascon Global 19:1
HCL Infosystems 12:1
Adobe 11:1
EDS 500: 1
Digital Globalsoft 7:1
HCL Technologies 6:1
Sun Microsystems 6:1
HP 5:1
Capgemini 3:1 ( Not Bad J )
Infosys 3:1 ( Not Bad J )
Kshema Technologies 4:1
T-systems 3:1 (Not Bad J )
Wipro 4:1
TCS 4:1
SAP 4:1
Hughes Software Systems 4:1
iFlex 4:1
Philips 3:1 (Not Bad )
Cognizant Technology 3:1 (Not Bad )
Perot Systems 1: 10 (Very Good )
THOMSON FINANCIALS 1:15 (Toooo gooooood)
Satyam Computer Services 5:3
Syntel 9:1
Toshiba 25:1
L&T 2000:negligible (That too Aunties)
Gals look out for EDS
And Guys please look for Thomson Financials and Perot Systems
Someone HELP L&T Guys.
Start planning accordingly!
:rock
brahmtewatia
Active member
Santa : Hey…guess why the cyclone Phyan gave Mumbai a miss ?
Banta : Bcoz MNS demanded that cyclone must have a marathi name to enter Mumbai.
Banta : Bcoz MNS demanded that cyclone must have a marathi name to enter Mumbai.
nishantrathi82
New member
Installing husband!!!
A woman writes to the IT Technical support.....
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly underBoyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
_______ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _______
REPLY
DEAR Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. Html and try to downloadTears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..
However, remember, overuse of the above application can causeHusband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.
Good Luck Madam!
A woman writes to the IT Technical support.....
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly underBoyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
_______ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _______
REPLY
DEAR Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. Html and try to downloadTears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..
However, remember, overuse of the above application can causeHusband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.
Good Luck Madam!
sunillathwal
New member
sunillathwal
New member
Dear
''PLEASE THIS LETTER MUST REMAIN SECRET''
I am Suriya Jungrungreangkit, former Thailand transport minister during Thaksin Shinawatra regime which was outsted by a military coup on Sept 19 2006,and Martial law was imposed by the Council for Democratic Reform, now called the Council for National Security. After the Sept 19 coup, i would have called you on phone , but because the new government is taping the past government officials phone numbers, so it is no longer safe for me to call you, that is why i think it is safe to send you this mail. we are placed under surveillance.
However my main point of contacting you is to seek your sincere suggestion and guideline to invest in your country. And please because of my previous position in the government, i do not need to tell you of the absolute confidentiality which we both must have to observe, if we are to go into investment, or rather if you are to help me in investing in your country..
I desired to contact you now that I am very sure that all eyes are not on us as it was when the problem first began though we are still going to court but the environment is good now to handle the transaction very safely.
From the news publications attached here in respect of the government probes into much of the projects my ministry executed will make you to understand my position with the government now.
I thank you very much for taking time to go through my mail, and hope to read from your reply soon, .Thanks for your anticipated co-operation and my
regards to your family.
Good luck,and feel free to contact me on my email suryat33@centrum.cz, until arrangements are made.
yours sincerely,
Minister, Suriya Jungrungreangkit.
Report: Of ousted cabinet's assets of B24bn, land accounts for 40% SURASAK GLAHAN Land owned by former cabinet members in the ousted Thaksin government accounts for almost 40% of their total assets worth 24 billion baht, according to a report released yesterday by the National Counter Corruption Commission (NCCC). The cabinet members, including ex-prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra, are required by law to report assets owned by them, their spouses and children who are still minors upon their departure from government after the Sept 19 coup.
The report said the former cabinet members, spouses and children together owned land worth slightly more than nine billion baht.
Among property declared is a piece purchased from the Bank of Thailand's Financial Institutions Development Fund by Khunying Potjaman, Mr Thaksin's wife, that is being investigated by the assets scrutiny committee.
While Mr Thaksin declared three pieces of property worth 1.1 million baht, Khunying Potjaman reported 122 plots, bought for 1.9 billion baht and with a current value of almost two billion baht.
In 2001, she declared possession of only 108 plots worth 388 million baht.
The wealthiest landowners are former foreign affairs minister Kantathi Suphamongkhon and his wife, who declared property worth 2.9 billion baht.
Another big landowner is Newin Chidchob, former minister attached to the Prime Minister's Office, and his wife. They own land plots worth 804 million baht.
Khunying Sudarat Keyuraphan, former agriculture and cooperatives minister, owns land worth 783 million baht.
The report also shows Mr Thaksin had total assets worth 557 million baht on Sept 19, while his wife's wealth amounted to 8.7 billion baht.
The couple's figures were not very different to their declaration in 2001 before Mr Thaksin took the post of education minister. That year, his total assets were 509 million baht and Khunying Potjaman's were 9.8 billion baht.
Khunying Potjaman also declared in the latest report that a 2.5-billion-baht loan she gave her son Panthongthae in 2002 had been paid.....
.
.
.
-------------------
Even spams are interesting now a days...
''PLEASE THIS LETTER MUST REMAIN SECRET''
I am Suriya Jungrungreangkit, former Thailand transport minister during Thaksin Shinawatra regime which was outsted by a military coup on Sept 19 2006,and Martial law was imposed by the Council for Democratic Reform, now called the Council for National Security. After the Sept 19 coup, i would have called you on phone , but because the new government is taping the past government officials phone numbers, so it is no longer safe for me to call you, that is why i think it is safe to send you this mail. we are placed under surveillance.
However my main point of contacting you is to seek your sincere suggestion and guideline to invest in your country. And please because of my previous position in the government, i do not need to tell you of the absolute confidentiality which we both must have to observe, if we are to go into investment, or rather if you are to help me in investing in your country..
I desired to contact you now that I am very sure that all eyes are not on us as it was when the problem first began though we are still going to court but the environment is good now to handle the transaction very safely.
From the news publications attached here in respect of the government probes into much of the projects my ministry executed will make you to understand my position with the government now.
I thank you very much for taking time to go through my mail, and hope to read from your reply soon, .Thanks for your anticipated co-operation and my
regards to your family.
Good luck,and feel free to contact me on my email suryat33@centrum.cz, until arrangements are made.
yours sincerely,
Minister, Suriya Jungrungreangkit.
Report: Of ousted cabinet's assets of B24bn, land accounts for 40% SURASAK GLAHAN Land owned by former cabinet members in the ousted Thaksin government accounts for almost 40% of their total assets worth 24 billion baht, according to a report released yesterday by the National Counter Corruption Commission (NCCC). The cabinet members, including ex-prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra, are required by law to report assets owned by them, their spouses and children who are still minors upon their departure from government after the Sept 19 coup.
The report said the former cabinet members, spouses and children together owned land worth slightly more than nine billion baht.
Among property declared is a piece purchased from the Bank of Thailand's Financial Institutions Development Fund by Khunying Potjaman, Mr Thaksin's wife, that is being investigated by the assets scrutiny committee.
While Mr Thaksin declared three pieces of property worth 1.1 million baht, Khunying Potjaman reported 122 plots, bought for 1.9 billion baht and with a current value of almost two billion baht.
In 2001, she declared possession of only 108 plots worth 388 million baht.
The wealthiest landowners are former foreign affairs minister Kantathi Suphamongkhon and his wife, who declared property worth 2.9 billion baht.
Another big landowner is Newin Chidchob, former minister attached to the Prime Minister's Office, and his wife. They own land plots worth 804 million baht.
Khunying Sudarat Keyuraphan, former agriculture and cooperatives minister, owns land worth 783 million baht.
The report also shows Mr Thaksin had total assets worth 557 million baht on Sept 19, while his wife's wealth amounted to 8.7 billion baht.
The couple's figures were not very different to their declaration in 2001 before Mr Thaksin took the post of education minister. That year, his total assets were 509 million baht and Khunying Potjaman's were 9.8 billion baht.
Khunying Potjaman also declared in the latest report that a 2.5-billion-baht loan she gave her son Panthongthae in 2002 had been paid.....
.
.
.
-------------------
Even spams are interesting now a days...
anurag8425
New member
gr8.. i liked that conversioning system joke..