Dear Anil
to me superiority of an individual is a matter of his or her own conviction and for others is a matter of perception. How we react to the comment of others is also a matter of conviction and perception. Don't you remember the riddle about "shortening a line without erasing or cutting it". Not all in the group would be able to answer that. Someone would perceive the right path and without fiddling with the existing line would draw a longer line beside the one already there.
It makes me believe after analysing your posts in this thread that somebody has hurt your 'ego'. Although it is a wild guess but I think somebody's behaviour has knowingly or unknowingly caused some unrest in your mind. But then the question is what is behaviour. To me, it is a set of norms for a social group or a smaller group or two or more individual for their own and collective convenience.
Anyways, probably i am beating about the bush but I read a Golden rule, that was signature of one our earliest but one time active members. I believe it was Bhai Ashok Dabas's signature and that read something like this:
" No one can hurt my ego without my consent"
so the point i wish to convey is that when something bad is said or commented about an individual, its impact is determined by the fact that how much he or she cares about the comment and the person who has made the comment. Closer the personal relationship, bigger would be the impact.
So if you wish to minimise the damage than drop the adverse comments from your thought process like a unfinished cigarette held in your fingers. So it is all about your 'attitude' in handling situations like this.
For gaining and keeping inner peace, I remember another golden line from the introduction thread by our esteemed member Bhai Karamveer Chahal
"sabhee par vishvash karta hun aur apne liye jhooth nahi bolta"
Finally I would like to emphasize that we shouldn't say or write anything to win a point or a debate, that can hut somebody's feelings/ego.
Cheers!
Hi Sir , Thanks for your contribution.
IT was really interesting to read your post and i could find out a way to tkae this thread and discussion forward with the limited audience we have had.
As PArvir Sir mentioned , we have blindly copied the west. I am still not sure on how this is done ? Do people in West have low tolerance level ?
And i think we should try a bit harder for other sources to analyse.
Regarding your assumption / guess ! No you are wrong , no body has hurt my ego. Infact that quote of nobody can hurt our ego without our consent is so true.
The same is true with me. I divide the comments from anyone in some broad categories ! Some are total nonsense and i dont care , some are sugegsting a change ( and if the source / comment ) is worth , i give it due consideration , and I would not hesitate a bit to change myself for good.
If the point worth a debate i would go forward with a totally open mind , respect for the person i am talking to , respect to his views and would converse.
I found the procedure simple enough.
What confuses me is that why dont people seem to follow this ?
Dont take me wrong , i am just making an example , your guess that somebody has hurt me is again a symptom of our preassumptions.
I am being a generalist , I always try talking about human behaviour in general because one or two cases dont have any statistical significace to base our conclusions on.
You would know this fact , even on jatland , if u talk about something , there are pre defined notions , pre defined ways of response. I appreciate the individuality and uniqueness of people but at time it hurts to see people developing such a hatred for wach other for no reasons !
And the reason is the lack of communication or better stated is the lack of intention to listen to each other.
Have we reached a situation wehre we dont have respect for others ? I think one of the must of being human is to respect other humans .
And then if u talk as a genrealist , people have this habbit of getting you down by saying that i am pretending and this is applicable to everyone who tries to be rational about things.
Why are we turning our ears to something that is logical , rational , true , general just because it is against our view ?
And the stroy is not specific to jatland , it goes to all such social networking site , and to real life realtionships !
Pause for a moment to think of the kind of prudence we have developed. The phrases like :
Jaat to bhaai nyun hi rehvange
jaat to swaad liya karein
jaat yeh ,,,, jaat woh .....
Think of the language we use at times !!! Any foul word , rotten statements , bad behaviour is categorised as using jat / haryanvi language.
I might be sounding harsh but the general behaviour towards ladies/girls has reached such a low that i better call it as talking to your saali/bhaabhi !!
And that is being generalised to everyone ( including unknowns ) ! WE do not have that bit of patience to wait for a few days / a few conversations / a few talks to try and prove our " over friendliness " to them.
I have been on internet and i have met so many people ( on internet and then personally ( i guess must be around 60-70 ) ) , I never ever has to fight against someone , I never had to abuse someone , yet i was able to establish relationships ( and long lasting as well ) !!!!
I like observing behaviour and it has seriously degraded in last 2-3 years , And here is where PArvir Sir's comment of blindly following the west has come onto picture.
What is the reason that we are not having enough patience ? IS 2 years a big enough time frame to degrade this much ? And the rate at which we are going , what does it holds for future ?
Sorry for this big post ,but sicne you tried to get into my mind of what i was talking about , i thought of explaining myself. Hope you appreciate the points and take the discussion forward.
, forgive me for being technical here ).
