Married without kids

sidchhikara said:
This is because of reasons like -
Women having greater say in family planning
Working couple
Nuclear families
Increases in cost of raising child.

This happens in any society/country which sees an increase in development indicators like education, health, poverty reduction.

This is a positive change.
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I didn't find it positive as we may not want take China's path and end up with 60% old population after 50 years..
 
yudhvirmor said:
I didn't find it positive as we may not want take China's path and end up with 60% old population after 50 years..
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I think it will take 500 years ... by then we will all be dead.

The stats you cited are for only 10% of the population. The remaining 90% are getting it on and pumping out babies faster than they can name them.

Believe me .... we donot need more people in India ... we were full house at the beginning of 20 the century ..... these days it has got to a point where we are just stepping on each others toes ... while being hungry, thirsty, sweaty and half naked.

These couples actually deserve credit for holding out on kids.
 
I c this as a very positive trend in certain ways....both parents r busy...its so difficult n expensive to provide a gud life to kids these days.....

peer pressure itna hai aaj kal ke bachchon pe ki har roz ek new demand aati hai....
frm whr do v get the money for all this if v dun work?

aur yeh bhi theek nahin ki bachche paida kar do...coz v hav to...aur uske baad unhe naukron ke sahare chhod do....bachche ki aise zindagi barbad karne se to achcha hai na ki unhe paida hi na karo...

n i read abt a workin couple in sum magazine....both parents had a travelling job...so they wud schedule their travels in such a way tht one parent wud b comin home n the other wud b goin on a tour...apne baby ko woh airport pe exchange karte the....aur agar kabhi flight delay ho jaye to???
do u really wana give such a life to ur child???

but if u r nt having kids coz u cant go to pubs in night...then u r plain stupid n a loser...too scared of responsibility....fir to shadi ki karne ki kya zarrorat thi...live in hi kar lete....zyada easy rehta....

n yeah v cud do wit lil less child births in our country....almost all of our country's probs r sumway or the other related to our huge population !!
 
this is nothing but shows selfishness of todays persons every one thinking abut my career my life baki jao bhad me. Ladkiyan isliye mana karti hain: career kharab hoga chutti jo leni padegi, figure kharab ho jayega
Ladke isliye mana karte hain abhi afford nahi kar sakta, personal life khatam ho jayegi.
Sab jimmedariyon se bachne ke bahane hai bachha hone ke baad usse personal attn deni padti hai, usko sulane ke liye 1 ghanta excercise karo, raat ko uthke uske kapde badlo aur subah office jao, itni musibat kaun uthaye pher school admission ka chakkar

Rahi affordability ki baat koi muje batayega ki ek bachha kitne me palta hai? car aur ghar afford ho jayenge bachha afford nahi hoga

rahi development ki baat kahin nahi likha ki develop hone ka criteria ye bhi hai ki bachhe paida mat karo.


but here we r talking abut harldy 5-6% of population that too limited to Metro cities only. baki 95% ko dekho jo dana dan bachhe paida kar rahe hain.
Aise log koi pala palaya bachha 18-20 saal ka godh le sakte phir maa baap ko koi dikkat nahi hogi
 
rajkphogat said:
Rahi affordability ki baat koi muje batayega ki ek bachha kitne me palta hai? car aur ghar afford ho jayenge bachha afford nahi hoga
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Kaante ki baat kah di bhaisaab jma!!
Sab yahi sochte rahte hai ki apna Flat hona chaiye 50-60 lakh ka. Gadi honda city te kam nahi chaiye.. Itne ye shauk poore hove se itne balak karen ki umar ja le se ;) I really pity those people who run away from such responsibilities.
I agree this thing happens only in Metro cities. Gaam aale to jab tai 3 balak nahi ho jande nyu e na maante ke kime hoya se :D:p
 
I agree that it may be a good trend to be married and no kids.. but surprisingly trends are changing in rural areas also among Jats. I don't remember any of my cousin or friend who is living in village and have half dozen kids.. Majority of them have 1 or 2 kids.

As far as China's "One Child Policy" is concerned, they are seriously thinking to make some amendments to that.

I strongly believe that scarcity is more dangerous than abundance.

There are better chances that educated working couples can give better brought to their kid and that kid can be a value addition to any country's talent pool.

We can't expect to have a replacement of every IITians or doctors coming from Ranchi or Patna... I belive educated people definately have a kid and give them best brought up so that we can maintain the ratio between demand and supply of grey cells.
 
yudhvirmor said:
I agree that it may be a good trend to be married and no kids.. but surprisingly trends are changing in rural areas also among Jats. I don't remember any of my cousin or friend who is living in village and have half dozen kids.. Majority of them have 1 or 2 kids.
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Yudhvir,
This is correct. Most of them 1-2 kids, maybe 3 but that is rare.
 
It is an entirely personal decision. People who have kids (Disclaimer: I had one recently) do it because it is important to them. For those who regard career and lifestyle as more important, it is entirely justified not to have kids or to have them late. Think about it, if they have kids against their wishes, it is neither good for them nor for the kids. They are much better than people who have kids and then don't care for them or can't look after them.

In any case, I think it is sensible to hold out for some time after marriage. Marriage itself is a significant life changing event. It makes imminent sense to settle down with each other and develop a good understanding before taking new responsibilities. The biological clock is important, but not to the extent it is stressed in India. The risk of Down's Syndrome and other complications is minimal before 30 years. It starts increasing between 30 and 35 years, but is still not high in absolute terms. Beyond 35, it becomes quite risky.
 
bhavnasingh20 said:
I c this as a very positive trend in certain ways....both parents r busy...its so difficult n expensive to provide a gud life to kids these days.....

peer pressure itna hai aaj kal ke bachchon pe ki har roz ek new demand aati hai....
frm whr do v get the money for all this if v dun work?

aur yeh bhi theek nahin ki bachche paida kar do...coz v hav to...aur uske baad unhe naukron ke sahare chhod do....bachche ki aise zindagi barbad karne se to achcha hai na ki unhe paida hi na karo...

n i read abt a workin couple in sum magazine....both parents had a travelling job...so they wud schedule their travels in such a way tht one parent wud b comin home n the other wud b goin on a tour...apne baby ko woh airport pe exchange karte the....aur agar kabhi flight delay ho jaye to???
do u really wana give such a life to ur child???

but if u r nt having kids coz u cant go to pubs in night...then u r plain stupid n a loser...too scared of responsibility....fir to shadi ki karne ki kya zarrorat thi...live in hi kar lete....zyada easy rehta....

n yeah v cud do wit lil less child births in our country....almost all of our country's probs r sumway or the other related to our huge population !!
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This is with reference to your highlighted quote-
There is an old saying in Marwari “पूत सपूत तो धन संचय क्यों, पूत कपूत तो धन संचय क्यों.” There is a proper mechanism for spoiled kids to bring them on right track. One of the effective tool is “ ताज़ी नीम की कामड़ी”. It works wonder u just have to make sure it should be ताज़ी…and should be knowing where to strike…just little below the butt and little above the ankle on the back side…to be precise nikkar se thoda niche….sattaak…

When I was just a kid My uncle’s friends used to call me “ आतंकवादी ”. when I was six year old I slapped my tutor who would come to our house to teach me… my dad allowed me to do whatever I wanted to.. subjected it doesn’t have any financial implication for him & made sure that I get duly rewarded for my holy activities on the very same day…so after a long tiring day of hard work I would come to home and my father made sure that I get rewarded at the end of the day with “Neem ke taaji kamdi” as a part of the reconciliation. He did very commendable job to manage me as well as my other sibling.
My uncle used to give me 25 Paisa on special occassions.The highest pocket money I ever got from my dad was rs. 10. That too after fulfilling all the due diligence & adhering policy. There was a budget for my fun activity: For playing marbles 50 paise weekly. For kites 2 rupeyyee me cheeldaar 4 patange.25 paise ke ek and 50 paise ke Dholdaar 2 patange..baaki we had looted stock… When I was in 10 +2 and asked my dad to get me computer he told. Get me first class I will get u computer. He is truly subhas chandar bose.

Now that’s the treatment for a spoiled kid. For ordinary kid’s two sweet words with gesture of love with rubbing hand over the head is enough.

I would encourage folks to have least kids it would be even better if they have none… that will give my three or four kids a plenty of opportunity to utilize India’s resource at full potential and keep my legacy going…..c’mon folks don’t have any children…sorry I forgot it’s their personal decision. :cool:
 
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right things on right time

Losing the chance of enjoyment after having kids or trying to escape to take up the responsibility of parenthood does not seem to be a generic case.I know many couples who prefer to stay at home at weekends or avoid late night outings but still they do not have any such plans.That is because they wanna attain financial stability before having kids so that they can avail best facilities for their kids as nurturing kids is very expensive these days.Moreover they will not have to restrict their personal expenses as the family grows if they have handsome savings initialy.

Carrer consciousness in women seems to be the another reason but i guess that has no end.Even after 7-8 yrs of work,she will be at a position where still there is scope to rise so the rat race is never going to be over.This is how you maintain a balance between personal and professional lives.So better greet every phase of your life on time as children born early are healthy,moreover parents will not be very old as the kid grows up and needs your support.And you will get more years of your life to spend with your child.
 
anusha said:
Losing the chance of enjoyment after having kids or trying to escape to take up the responsibility of parenthood does not seem to be a generic case.I know many couples who prefer to stay at home at weekends or avoid late night outings but still they do not have any such plans.That is because they wanna attain financial stability before having kids so that they can avail best facilities for their kids as nurturing kids is very expensive these days.Moreover they will not have to restrict their personal expenses as the family grows if they have handsome savings initialy.

Carrer consciousness in women seems to be the another reason but i guess that has no end.Even after 7-8 yrs of work,she will be at a position where still there is scope to rise so the rat race is never going to be over.This is how you maintain a balance between personal and professional lives.So better greet every phase of your life on time as children born early are healthy,moreover parents will not be very old as the kid grows up and needs your support.And you will get more years of your life to spend with your child.
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I think most of us are tyring hard to have these balances sometimes we talk about work-life balance and other day we talk about professional-personal balance. At the end of the day, we don't do both properly. woman try to setup their career and spent 6-8 years without kids and then suddenly they realized that they should have kids.. In many cases, they feel that chances of failure are high as they are sitting on top of professional ladder. In some cases, They are missing that energy or passion to raise kids.
I strongly belive that raising a chil in nuclear family env. is herculous task and you really need to be passionate and must have a lots of patience to do that.
I understand that career is highest priority for most of us but we also need to do reality check of what exactly we want from life. For sure, woman has to walk more steps during the parenthood and its always tough decision for them to take...
 
my equation - 2 options

option no.1

5+12 yrs... pass 12th. yr age now 17
3 or 4 yrs... pass grad. yr age now 21
2 yrs... do masters. yr age now 23
1 yr grace (when you failed, fell sick or kicked out of school/college)... yr age now 24
2 yrs... sort out chicks in yr office... yr age now 26
>>> now time to become मोर (... आई मीन पीकॉक)... get married.

option no. 2

go green... thts the buzzz, follow the religion of peace, no need to study, get married when your body start tickling... अल्लाह देगा, वो ही संभालेगा... baaki sab kuchh gaya T L.
 
sudeepdular said:
. One of the effective tool is “ ताज़ी नीम की कामड़ी”. It works wonder u just have to make sure it should be ताज़ी…and should be knowing where to strike…just little below the butt and little above the ankle on the back side…to be precise nikkar se thoda niche….sattaak…[/FONT]

[/FONT]
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I can relate to it ..100%
my dadaji used to tie my uncles to a neem ka pedd n then give them a gud shot of these kaamdi lolz..n they turned out to be perfect and respecting to their parents...served him whole heartedly and with respect till he died..from feeding him to cleaning him up when he was bedridden during the end days.

In western countries its nearly a crime to spank ur kid..or to even comdemn or crticise them harshly..wonder wots wrong in that..its YOUR kid for Chrissake,,ismey law or police kahaan se aa gayi..if its for the betterment of ur kid,,unless its irrational or baseless going by the whims of a nasty and aggressive psychotic parent.
There is a very fine line..
 
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