Poverty of Soul

[shobhitdeshwal]

Hi!

I read a story by Issac Asimov, named True Love, it was overwhelming and I myself being of a very impatient nature in life, know what it is to be loved and what it is to give?

The nature of love is based on evolution, it evolves in various phases. Anywhere, it starts with a desire, the mother loves her child initially for a desire, the father does the same, the child does the same. The child grows up and his/her desires shift from getting love from family.... The search for a companion is what a person fixes himself in.

Love exists in many other forms as well, from time immortal, people have been falling in love with nature and with other stuff, like someone might love going on shopping! Now that is TRUE love, wherein one gets what he wants! With no other human enggaged in the act.

In principle, we are all Narcissists, we all love each other more than we could ever love anything or any being! We love, and so we demand for the fulfilment, the soul does not get respite till we get what we want! And we want people to accede to our soul's demand, we put forth our expectations, we get attached to our expectations and we fail to understand the real mettle, that it is in giving not in recieveing that the soul will excel!

Love in actual sense is giving, giving to the nature might be termed as true love, giving to the lonely might be termed as true love. We do not Love in there as well, one who loves nature, wants his garden to bear fruits and flowers, one who loves a Dog, wants that dog to behave the way He/She wants, one who claims he loves God, wants his wishes to be fulfilled, One who loves his/her spouse and claims to have unconditional love is again fixed in conditions of expectations....

The moment we put forth our expectations, people, nature, God, all turn inimical....

There is a different school of thought, the more you hold, the fast it slips..... Love not, and you will receive it... Love and you will get nothing! And but, there are both needs, to give and to get! A person is able to give when he is able to get.....

The soul will be poor till one learns how to give without receiving......... And once a person learns this, it gets very late, and he has to live with the poverty throughout!

Cheers!!

Shobhit Deshwal

 

[sanjeetsparp]

Love is Beautiful

Love is love, and its beautiful ... which happens .... and no one there to explain why it happens .....
Mere ko to din main 10-12 baar hota hai .. or her baar koi reason nahi hota.... meri taraf se to 100% i hota hai .... doosri taraf se hi hamesha .. no signal aata hai ....
Ab system to hai nahi jo server connectivity ping command se dekh loon....

per khabhi to hoga or tab bhi mere paas koi reason nahi hoga ki kyun huaa...

 

[cooljat]

So Very True!...
Very well explained Bhai

Hi!

I read a story by Issac Asimov, named True Love, it was overwhelming and I myself being of a very impatient nature in life, know what it is to be loved and what it is to give?

The nature of love is based on evolution, it evolves in various phases. Anywhere, it starts with a desire, the mother loves her child initially for a desire, the father does the same, the child does the same. The child grows up and his/her desires shift from getting love from family.... The search for a companion is what a person fixes himself in.

Love exists in many other forms as well, from time immortal, people have been falling in love with nature and with other stuff, like someone might love going on shopping! Now that is TRUE love, wherein one gets what he wants! With no other human enggaged in the act.

In principle, we are all Narcissists, we all love each other more than we could ever love anything or any being! We love, and so we demand for the fulfilment, the soul does not get respite till we get what we want! And we want people to accede to our soul's demand, we put forth our expectations, we get attached to our expectations and we fail to understand the real mettle, that it is in giving not in recieveing that the soul will excel!

Love in actual sense is giving, giving to the nature might be termed as true love, giving to the lonely might be termed as true love. We do not Love in there as well, one who loves nature, wants his garden to bear fruits and flowers, one who loves a Dog, wants that dog to behave the way He/She wants, one who claims he loves God, wants his wishes to be fulfilled, One who loves his/her spouse and claims to have unconditional love is again fixed in conditions of expectations....

The moment we put forth our expectations, people, nature, God, all turn inimical....

There is a different school of thought, the more you hold, the fast it slips..... Love not, and you will receive it... Love and you will get nothing! And but, there are both needs, to give and to get! A person is able to give when he is able to get.....

The soul will be poor till one learns how to give without receiving......... And once a person learns this, it gets very late, and he has to live with the poverty throughout!

Cheers!!

Shobhit Deshwal

 

[raj_rathee]

So Very True!...
Very well explained Bhai

Jit tunnae pyar ke baare mein kyukar bera?
Tera err uss phat-phatiya ka ke chakkar sae?

 

[raj_rathee]

Love is love, and its beautiful ... which happens .... and no one there to explain why it happens .....
Mere ko to din main 10-12 baar hota hai .. or her baar koi reason nahi hota.... meri taraf se to 100% i hota hai .... doosri taraf se hi hamesha .. no signal aata hai ....
Ab system to hai nahi jo server connectivity ping command se dekh loon....

per khabhi to hoga or tab bhi mere paas koi reason nahi hoga ki kyun huaa...

Din mein 10-12 baar???? Yeh tumhari kya haalat ho gayee hai! Hakeem
ko dikhwaaya?

Are u doing something seriously wrong? Can't be that difficult bro!!!!

 

[mamtadg]

Great sir

Interesting...Let me attemt to answer. In my view love is like a newly born baby which consumes us almost completely in the beginning. As this child grows, he demands attention and cries. How he gets attention, shapes its future course and attitude. He needs continuous attention and nourishment. I suppose love is also like this. Very beautiful in the beginning but demanding later on and fulfiling if we groom it properly.

RK^2

I am some one who never believe in this word Love.But what ever you said sir i completly agree . so beautifully u explained.

 

[mamtadg]

Hi!

There is a different school of thought, the more you hold, the fast it slips..... Love not, and you will receive it... Love and you will get nothing! And but, there are both needs, to give and to get! A person is able to give when he is able to get.....


Shobhit Deshwal

Amazing and true..........

 

[anilsinghd]

Interesting...Let me attemt to answer. In my view love is like a newly born baby which consumes us almost completely in the beginning. As this child grows, he demands attention and cries. How he gets attention, shapes its future course and attitude. He needs continuous attention and nourishment. I suppose love is also like this. Very beautiful in the beginning but demanding later on and fulfiling if we groom it properly.

RK^2

Sir do u also extend this analogy to the fact that when the child gets older , it demands independence and then a certain sense of deattachment starts to happen , ofcourse the interaction/attachment comes down to a lower level ?

And with concrete examples of lets say a guy and girl in love , would u like to be conservative on assigning the role of the child and parent ? !

Thanks !

I really must say this is a thought provoking post !

 

[anilsinghd]

in my opinion true and real love is one which develops from infatuation. because in that one doesn't get to think of compatbility and others things. infatuation is instant and i personally believe most instant things are pure as a spontaneous thought. compatibilty and other adjusment things are merely other names given to convenience in a relation.

in infatutaion one doesn't think of pros and cons and hence it's real and pure.

but then infatuation can cost one heavily since it doesn't give one security at first. infatuation might not live long and the well thought relation might live forever. but then what dies is real and what doesn't die is unreal, you know the living and non-living difference. but such real love might give you wings but those wings will have wamth along with pinch of pinions

I agree with you Seema ji on this , I think this is one of workable definitions of love and the spontaneity/instantaneour nature of infatuation which can be termed as love if it lasts long ehough gives it enough gas to keep driving on.
=========================================
In chemical terms , Entropy driven mechamism

Awwweee..i love chemistry so much !

 

[anilsinghd]

Poverty of Soul — Complete Self-giving, Self-emptying love without regard for oneself — Why this is the only valid path of austere n pure love?
I read this statement somewhere, and it made me think about the power of love. Here's my interpretation of the statement emphasizing on the meaning of poverty of soul.

Can two people love equally ? Is it possible for two people to feel for each other with equal intensity?
Lovers may lie to each other and get into stupid arguments like, 'I love you more' or 'I miss you more' . In life, the relative reality and equation between lovers is as - when two people are in love, one person will love the other more...and the one who loves less controls the relationship. That unfortunately is the starge fact of life. In all other spheres of life, you get more for when you give more.... you work more, you might get paid more.... you study more, you get better grades...and so more.

But you love more and you loose control of the relationship. The one who loves more will want the relationship more and will do more to keep it going...and sacrifice more in the bargain...bear more insults...are hurt more and even compromise more. One keeps on emptying oneself,,, giving oneself to the other to the ultimate. And the more you give, the less you get in return.

I say this is the poverty of soul... that we keep begging for the love, without any regard for the self. Why love makes one so weak ? The day you will renounce your beggage bowl and with it the capacity to be broken, you will be empty of guilt, of danger, of helplessness, even of compassion.

Some say love is pure, selfless, and undemanding. Expect nothing in return. No scope for any deception, greed, blame or blemish. "Niswarth Nishchhal Nirvikaar Prem". This kind of love is not poverty of soul but enriching and empowering purity of soul.

I would say this kinda love exists only in literature,, not in real practical life. No love is without expectations. How so pure n unexpecting your love may be,,,,,,But how long you can love someone n keep pouring everything, if you dont get any in return....???

They say love is the strength...but only if there's a balance...both the loves love on an average scale. Both need space, both need to stay away a bit, both feel suffocated with too much of love. (which is rare) . But if one person in the relationship feels that way and the other feels he/she loves more, wants the relationship more, wants more permanancy,,,,,then the real problem starts. We become helpless. We have no control over our own senses, our own emotions. Love or the demand of love makes us vulnerable. We are ready to do anything to get love. Like a begger, begging for the love from the person we love. And here we loose the control over the relationship and become a puppet in the hands of the person we love.

But when in love, we can not do much about this. It's not in our power to love more or less. We just love as we know how to. But the next time we are hurt, we compromise and bear the insult of being not loved the way we love,,,, bear it with a smile and remember the equation. It's not the power of our lover over us, it's the power of our love that makes us weak.

P.S. Those who have ever loved and felt helpless at times, just being at the mercy of the one whom they loved, will definitely understand it.

Awweee .... absolutely gorgeous thought , i am unfortunate to read them after tow months of their iinception

Just to add a point , which u surely had in mind but just forgot to mention it.

--- Like a begger, begging for the love from the person we love.
Every time we are hurt , we think of moving out , but that literally is not an option , Our love+ego (and correct me if i am wrong , it is ego as well ) comes to the rescue of ours and prepares us for yet another assault to be taken calmly. The moments of deep passion and the smiling face of the beloved comes in the front of us and strengthens our resolve to begg till we get it again. The flashes of how much we have put into the relationship comes to the fore and weighs on us.
The decision is obvious : We think of the moment as a passing phase and are resolved to bear the heat in searh for wonderful time ahead.
We are happy to take any hurt.
And the vicious circle carries on.

 

[anilsinghd]

It all depends on the mood and what one has gone through, when one writes something like this. Romance is like looking at a beautiful hill. Unfortunately one does not stop just at looking. Real trouble starts when one starts climbing. Lot many start having hard breath just in first 100 steps and either give up or ask for horse ride. Its only the harder ones who cross this barier and then start enjoying the climb. Those who make it to the top have the wholesome view of everything...Mind you its really worth all the troubles...

RK^2

Yes , true. Romance is like seeing an totally unknown smiling and laughing doing all sort of activities without his/her being conscious of your presence.
romance is like falling in love with a kid that just passed through and giving / getting a smile , and you know probably u are never gonan see him/her again.

 

[anilsinghd]

Love is love, and its beautiful ... which happens .... and no one there to explain why it happens .....
Mere ko to din main 10-12 baar hota hai .. or her baar koi reason nahi hota.... meri taraf se to 100% i hota hai .... doosri taraf se hi hamesha .. no signal aata hai ....
Ab system to hai nahi jo server connectivity ping command se dekh loon....

per khabhi to hoga or tab bhi mere paas koi reason nahi hoga ki kyun huaa...

bhaaai aapne majaak mein hi kahi lekin bahut sahi baat ki hai !

nyun to pata na ki aapko aur mere ko similar types se love hota hai lekin mujhe bhi din mein 10 baar pyaar to ho hi jaata hai !!!!


sometimes i fall in love ith a problem ! sometimes with my code , sometimes with a article.

sometimes asweet kid who just randomly smile at me ! sometimess.... well that is surely common

i remember i was chatting to my cousin sis last week : she was asking how much german i have learnt so far , she was like ich bin "her name" ! ich bin means i am.

I was very stressed out that time , randomly i wrote : ich bin kimai na aata !

and then i laughed over it for half an hour and she also told me that she ahd a good laugh.

Somewhere in the discussion somebody has said , its the perspective on which we define , i agree to this.

We need to define first the perspective on which we are attempting to make a definition.
We generally skip this hard work and a very subtle point.

WE try to be too specific and precise.

Human behaviour is not a software development , in which u can ty and write exact specifications , there are a lot of parameters involved.
Experiences do matter, the best thing one can do is to be accomodative on this , try and take other peoples view and experiences into account and then may be compare and contrast with your situations.

It is debatable on whether we should love ourselves more than anyone else and whetehr we already do it by default. It is also experience specific that love is about giving , recieving or maintaining an balance.
the balance can be intra realtionship or inter relationship. It is very much possible that you are recieving from someone and giving to someone else.


Different psychologists have put love in the category of love ( along with friendship and sexual intimacy) and belonging needs. The twist that can be made can be of many types. It is person specific on what he believes in.

My point is very simple , we still dont know what all comes in love : like so many people have so many strange things/activities which they will call love, so an exhaustive list of what is in love and wahts out is not feasible.

And since it is impossible to predict human baheviour ( at least in my opinion ) , it is difficult ( virtually impossible ) to define what is love.

But yes one obvious issue is the common misuse of the word these days but then again one can argue that people use it as per their beliefes and who are we to question other's belief ?


Such are the mysterious realms of human emotions and feelings ! I am in love with the "mysteriousness" ! I really am.

 

[vijay]

Poverty of Soul — Complete Self-giving, Self-emptying love without regard for oneself — Why this is the only valid path of austere n pure love?

Share your precious n enligtening views on the never-ending question---What's the nature of real love ?

Pure love doesn't need an essay to write upon ........ it's just about the pure feelings in the heart for someone irrespective of any social boundations

 

[neels]

Awweee .... absolutely gorgeous thought , i am unfortunate to read them after tow months of their iinception

Just to add a point , which u surely had in mind but just forgot to mention it.

--- Like a begger, begging for the love from the person we love.
Every time we are hurt , we think of moving out , but that literally is not an option , Our love+ego (and correct me if i am wrong , it is ego as well ) comes to the rescue of ours and prepares us for yet another assault to be taken calmly. The moments of deep passion and the smiling face of the beloved comes in the front of us and strengthens our resolve to begg till we get it again. The flashes of how much we have put into the relationship comes to the fore and weighs on us.
The decision is obvious : We think of the moment as a passing phase and are resolved to bear the heat in searh for wonderful time ahead.
We are happy to take any hurt.
And the vicious circle carries on.

First of all Thanks you liked it. It's the philosophy of love by a self-proclainmed philosopher.
yes... thanks for adding the missing point...
it's somewhere the involvement of ego..which don let us walk out. we cant accept defeat(read rejection here) by nature... our ego is hurt in that.. n so we keep entrapped in this vicious loop. In Indian mentality there's one other very big issue.... failure of relationship... we consider it as our own failure... we blame ourselves... we could not handle/maintain a relationship... and just to avoid that failure,,, we keep suffering at any cost.... failing to understand that there are many other reasons which are beyond our limits and for which we are not responsible..nor are we failures.
Yes your point (in green) is very valid....with the flashes of those happy moments of the past.... its quite difficult to accept the present which may be different.

 

[neels]

sometimes i fall in love with a problem ! sometimes with my code , sometimes with a article.
sometimes asweet kid who just randomly smile at me ! sometimess.... well that is surely common

Well its a very positive sign to be in love with the different things you are associated

i remember i was chatting to my cousin sis last week : she was asking how much german i have learnt so far , she was like ich bin "her name" ! ich bin means i am.

I was very stressed out that time , randomly i wrote : ich bin kimai na aata !

and then i laughed over it for half an hour and she also told me that she ahd a good laugh.

Somewhere in the discussion somebody has said , its the perspective on which we define , i agree to this.

We need to define first the perspective on which we are attempting to make a definition.
We generally skip this hard work and a very subtle point.

WE try to be too specific and precise.

Human behaviour is not a software development , in which u can ty and write exact specifications , there are a lot of parameters involved.
Experiences do matter, the best thing one can do is to be accomodative on this , try and take other peoples view and experiences into account and then may be compare and contrast with your situations.

It is debatable on whether we should love ourselves more than anyone else and whetehr we already do it by default. It is also experience specific that love is about giving , recieving or maintaining an balance.
the balance can be intra realtionship or inter relationship. It is very much possible that you are recieving from someone and giving to someone else.


Different psychologists have put love in the category of love ( along with friendship and sexual intimacy) and belonging needs. The twist that can be made can be of many types. It is person specific on what he believes in.

My point is very simple , we still dont know what all comes in love : like so many people have so many strange things/activities which they will call love, so an exhaustive list of what is in love and wahts out is not feasible.

And since it is impossible to predict human baheviour ( at least in my opinion ) , it is difficult ( virtually impossible ) to define what is love.

But yes one obvious issue is the common misuse of the word these days but then again one can argue that people use it as per their beliefes and who are we to question other's belief ?

Such are the mysterious realms of human emotions and feelings ! I am in love with the "mysteriousness" ! I really am.

Well you ve explained the mysteries of Human Behaviour quite reasonably....so I don think need to explore it more from psychologist's point of view. but yea can surely add sthing to define love (Psychological concept).
Its an emotion ... which comes with lots of bodily changes-internal n external- like all other emotions. But undoubtedly more discussed than any other emotion. Sternberg, in his Triangular theory of Love, has described love by three elements- intimacy, passion and commitment. Each of these can be present in various degrees in a relationship resulting into diff combinations. and so Psychology, theoritically, describes following types of love -

-Liking or friendship (Intimacy)
-Infatuation or limerence (Passion)
-Empty love (commitment)
-Romantic love (intimacy+passion)
-Companionate love (intimacy+commitment)
-Fatuous love (passion+commitment)
-Consummate love (intimacy+passion+commitment)

 

[neels]

Pure love doesn't need an essay to write upon ........ it's just about the pure feelings in the heart for someone irrespective of any social boundations

Hmmmm.. Well it's not necessary at all that everyone writes an essay...but surely if no one ll write,,how we ll ve those infinite no. of pages of information.

 

[neels]

Hi!

There is a different school of thought, the more you hold, the fast it slips..... Love not, and you will receive it... Love and you will get nothing! And but, there are both needs, to give and to get! A person is able to give when he is able to get.....

The soul will be poor till one learns how to give without receiving......... And once a person learns this, it gets very late, and he has to live with the poverty throughout!
Shobhit Deshwal

Thoughtful lines.... this is the real struggle.

 

[anilsinghd]

theoritically, describes 6 types of love -

-Liking of friendship (Intimacy)
-Infatuation or limerence (Passion)
-Empty love (commitment)
-Romantic love (intimacy+passion)
-Companionate love (intimacy+commitment)
-Fatuous love (passion+commitment)
-Consummate love (intimacy+passion+commitment)

7 to be mathematically precise !

Sorry could not resist myself !


Sternberg theory padhni padgi ibb to !!

 

[neels]

7 to be mathematically precise !

Sorry could not resist myself !

Sternberg theory padhni padgi ibb to !!

Thanks to correct .... one shud..... n when one is mathematician,,, responsibility is more.

 

[anilsinghd]

Thanks to correct .... one shud..... n when one is mathematician,,, responsibility is more.

he he he he he