Rishta Nar-Naari ka

[choudharyneelam]

Kitabon mein padha tha maine, purush ek chhavi hai
Naari ne khud mein bhawnaon ko samaya
Dono ko jodkar dekha to paya
Sunder chitvan jisne Rab ka roop darshaya

Purush teer to naari kamaan
Ik-duje bina na inki pehchaan
Ek agar talwaar bana to
Duje ne banke dhal saath nibhaya

Do sunder cheezon ka mail zaroori banta aise
Jaise Arjun akele ‘Geeta Ka Saar’ liye ranbhoomi mein na jeet paya
Naari bhi jeevan mein kimat rakhti aise
Jiske bina Ishwar iss sansaar ko nahin saja paya

Jeevan-maran ki dor to rachiyata ke haath
Rishton ki dor ka bhaar usne nar-naari ko hi sambhlaya
Maana vibhajan ki hai aaj ahmiyat kaafi
Rishton mein nahin, balki shrum mein isko batlaya

Gaate hain sab….’Satya hi Shiv hai, Shiv hi sunder hai’
Samajhte kyun nahi, iss sunder Shiv ko Gauri bin na koi pura kar paya
Purush ne agar naari ko suna aur samjha hai
Ye batlao kyun Ram fir ‘Hey Sitey! Hey Sitey!’ kah roya aur chillaya

Dono ko barabar zaroorat ek-duje ki
Kyun Bhagwan ne naari ko hi sehansheel bata apna bhed-bhaav chhupaya
Nar-naari khan gunon ki
Ek avgun ko dekh fir purush ne kyun naari ko thukraya​

I wrote something original after a long time and after some observations. If its nicely created then ok,.........thought behind this creation is.......why couples get seperated when they both once had decided to stay together? Little adjustment is required, little more acceptance is required by one in comparison to another..........why this beautiful knot is opened when they once celebrated together with all love and respect?, why Ego and Self-esteem becomes the blocking stone of this relationship?, why they talk more as individualistic when they both has to share and spend together?......lot many questions come to my mind. Would like to have valuable thoughts of elders who have experienced life, also from those who are seperated and are members here (my intention is pure and holistic, just want to understand from their point of view)......others with serious thought can also participate without hurting anybody's sentiments.


My concern is just to spread my message to all through this simple poem.....might not be that impressive like a professional writer, but feel inside is all of a woman who is being neglected by man in any form....Sorry, that I could not put the feelings of a man's heart like that of a woman and that's why asking men to put up their opinions in relation to this serious concern.

 

[vijay]

Would like to have valuable thoughts of elders who have experienced life, also from those who are seperated and are members here (my intention is pure and holistic, just want to understand from their point of view)......others with serious thought can also participate without hurting anybody's sentiments.

Neither i am such an elder nor a separated one so you can put me in the category of 'others with serious thoughts'. I hope what i am posting here makes some sense and not hurting anybody's sentiments.


किताबो की सब बाते सच्चाई नहीं होती
दुनियाँ में सब जगह अच्छाई नहीं होती ।
लेकिन पल भर में टूट कर बिखर जायें
रिश्तों में इतनी भी कच्चाई नहीं होती ॥

कभी राम की मर्यादा अपना वजूद खोती है
तो कभी द्रोपदी अहंकार के धागे पिरोती है ।
नर हो या नारी कोई भी सम्पूर्ण नहीं होता
हर किसी में कोई ना कोई खामी होती है ॥

अगर नारी यहाँ नर के बिना लगती अधूरी है
नर की ज़िन्दगी कहाँ नारी के बिना पूरी है ।
दोनो को ही जरुरत पडती है एक दुसरे की
ये रिश्ता निभाने के लिये तालमेल जरूरी है ॥

इंसान को पह्चानने में अगर हमसे भूल हुई
तमाम दुनियाँ किस तरह कागज के फ़ूल हुई ।
कल जिस शख्श की हर बात अदा लगती थी
आज उसी ’विजय’ की बातें दिल में शूल हुई ॥

 

[saluram]

neelam ji jis tarah ek hath se tali nahin bajti vaise hi nari bina nar bhi adhura hain.
logon ki mansikta hi kharab ho gayi hain sochne ki,. nar sochte hain nari hamari juti ke barabar hain lekin vo yeh bhool jate hain jis ki vajay se unhone sansari duniya dekhi uski jimmedar bhi ek nari hain.

 

[samarkadian]

Kitabon mein padha tha maine, purush ek chhavi hai
Naari ne khud mein bhawnaon ko samaya
Dono ko jodkar dekha to paya
Sunder chitvan jisne Rab ka roop darshaya

Purush teer to naari kamaan
Ik-duje bina na inki pehchaan
Ek agar talwaar bana to
Duje ne banke dhal saath nibhaya

Do sunder cheezon ka mail zaroori banta aise
Jaise Arjun akele ‘Geeta Ka Saar’ liye ranbhoomi mein na jeet paya
Naari bhi jeevan mein kimat rakhti aise
Jiske bina Ishwar iss sansaar ko nahin saja paya

Jeevan-maran ki dor to rachiyata ke haath
Rishton ki dor ka bhaar usne nar-naari ko hi sambhlaya
Maana vibhajan ki hai aaj ahmiyat kaafi
Rishton mein nahin, balki shrum mein isko batlaya

Gaate hain sab….’Satya hi Shiv hai, Shiv hi sunder hai’
Samajhte kyun nahi, iss sunder Shiv ko Gauri bin na koi pura kar paya
Purush ne agar naari ko suna aur samjha hai
Ye batlao kyun Ram fir ‘Hey Sitey! Hey Sitey!’ kah roya aur chillaya

Dono ko barabar zaroorat ek-duje ki
Kyun Bhagwan ne naari ko hi sehansheel bata apna bhed-bhaav chhupaya
Nar-naari khan gunon ki
Ek avgun ko dekh fir purush ne kyun naari ko thukraya​

I wrote something original after a long time and after some observations. If its nicely created then ok,.........thought behind this creation is.......why couples get seperated when they both once had decided to stay together? Little adjustment is required, little more acceptance is required by one in comparison to another..........why this beautiful knot is opened when they once celebrated together with all love and respect?, why Ego and Self-esteem becomes the blocking stone of this relationship?, why they talk more as individualistic when they both has to share and spend together?......lot many questions come to my mind. Would like to have valuable thoughts of elders who have experienced life, also from those who are seperated and are members here (my intention is pure and holistic, just want to understand from their point of view)......others with serious thought can also participate without hurting anybody's sentiments.


My concern is just to spread my message to all through this simple poem.....might not be that impressive like a professional writer, but feel inside is all of a woman who is being neglected by man in any form....Sorry, that I could not put the feelings of a man's heart like that of a woman and that's why asking men to put up their opinions in relation to this serious concern.

Thoughts are good but a pathetic unreadable poem. Don't write again. But yes you could be a good divorce counsellor.

 

[upendersingh]

The main reason for the separation, I think, is extra-marital affairs. My all friends are married and I know about the affairs they had before their marriage. Their former lovers have also been married. I feel surprised when those former lovers still make calls to my friends. Many of them are still available to meet...amazing. Mostly people marry, but they don't know the meaning of it in real. After marriage, both man and woman should forget about the other one and be loyal to each other. But how many couples are loyal to each other? To be honest the % is quite low as far as I know this world. Extra-marital affairs do the real damage in married life. Generally neither man, nor woman tolerates his/her partner's love affairs. The result comes in separation. I know many girls, who had a number of boyfriends before marriage and when they got married, after some months they were back home to not to go again. It's a boon to have loyal partner, but a characterless partner makes the life hell. Who marry without hard work or struggle for it, if they are given the happy marital life, then what should those couples be given who marry after a lot of hard work and struggle?

 

[hemanthooda]

Kitabon mein padha tha maine, purush ek chhavi hai
Naari ne khud mein bhawnaon ko samaya
Dono ko jodkar dekha to paya
Sunder chitvan jisne Rab ka roop darshaya

Purush teer to naari kamaan
Ik-duje bina na inki pehchaan
Ek agar talwaar bana to
Duje ne banke dhal saath nibhaya

Do sunder cheezon ka mail zaroori banta aise
Jaise Arjun akele ‘Geeta Ka Saar’ liye ranbhoomi mein na jeet paya
Naari bhi jeevan mein kimat rakhti aise
Jiske bina Ishwar iss sansaar ko nahin saja paya

Jeevan-maran ki dor to rachiyata ke haath
Rishton ki dor ka bhaar usne nar-naari ko hi sambhlaya
Maana vibhajan ki hai aaj ahmiyat kaafi
Rishton mein nahin, balki shrum mein isko batlaya

Gaate hain sab….’Satya hi Shiv hai, Shiv hi sunder hai’
Samajhte kyun nahi, iss sunder Shiv ko Gauri bin na koi pura kar paya
Purush ne agar naari ko suna aur samjha hai
Ye batlao kyun Ram fir ‘Hey Sitey! Hey Sitey!’ kah roya aur chillaya

Dono ko barabar zaroorat ek-duje ki
Kyun Bhagwan ne naari ko hi sehansheel bata apna bhed-bhaav chhupaya
Nar-naari khan gunon ki
Ek avgun ko dekh fir purush ne kyun naari ko thukraya​

I wrote something original after a long time and after some observations. If its nicely created then ok,.........thought behind this creation is.......why couples get seperated when they both once had decided to stay together? Little adjustment is required, little more acceptance is required by one in comparison to another..........why this beautiful knot is opened when they once celebrated together with all love and respect?, why Ego and Self-esteem becomes the blocking stone of this relationship?, why they talk more as individualistic when they both has to share and spend together?......lot many questions come to my mind. Would like to have valuable thoughts of elders who have experienced life, also from those who are seperated and are members here (my intention is pure and holistic, just want to understand from their point of view)......others with serious thought can also participate without hurting anybody's sentiments.


My concern is just to spread my message to all through this simple poem.....might not be that impressive like a professional writer, but feel inside is all of a woman who is being neglected by man in any form....Sorry, that I could not put the feelings of a man's heart like that of a woman and that's why asking men to put up their opinions in relation to this serious concern.

Good thoughts Neelam Ji , Lage raho!!!!

 

[choudharyneelam]

hehehehe.......itni burai mere likhne ki kala ki.......you are in mood to get a punch from me .......just kidding .....thanks for telling me truely which very rare can do ......and ya I can handle this position well .....but agar isse profession ki tarah apnaya hota to har nar-naari ke rishte ko tutne se bacha leti.......mera profession alag hai aur usko acche se aage badhane ke liye main formal tarike se shapath bhi le chuki hun......directly or indirectly present profession bhi help karega har acche kaam mein


Sorry, reply with quote ka option tick karna bhool gayi........this reply is for Samar

 

[choudharyneelam]

The main reason for the separation, I think, is extra-marital affairs.

hmmm.......solution to this problem is all in individual's hand.

In all such cases, I'll blame Woman only as she has all the power and qualities that can make a man good or bad. By entering into such relations they are just putting their respect and values under other's feet. She must understand her all strong qualities and act like a gud sister to help her maintain a healthy relationship with her spouse. But jab apne aap ko saaliyan samajhke behan ke character ko bhool jaati hain, gadbad wahin hoti hai. A WOMAN has that strong qualities that she only helps the weakest person MAN to stand strongly and face the world. MAN was never strong but he was taken care of and supported and by that way only he proved himself to be stronger. A man can forget that he had learnt some gud qualities with his development but a woman should always remember that she is the only one who can make the man gud n respectable and in return she get all the things doubled for herself.

People disturbing their relationships like that might have attained higher degree/s in paper form but they have forgotten the simple difference between a human being and animal.

My message to all females- God has made us beautiful and strongest of all, but man was handed to us to make him look good and stronger as compared to woman. So, even if any married man try to invite you for any unhealthy relationship then you should help him to take the right track either directly speaking to him or by other indirect sources like many helplines.........cases where a married man don't reveal his marital status can be ignored, as there is a saying............"When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. If you can look up, you can get up".........after all we learn from mistakes also, but if you keep repeating then you don't have gud character. Rest, is your choice that from where you want to get luv, respect n concern and in what manner.

 

[choudharyneelam]

Thoughts are good but a pathetic unreadable poem. Don't write again. But yes you could be a good divorce counsellor.

Sacchi mein nahin likhungi kyunki mujhe isme kuchh bhalai nazar aa rahi hai.

 

[choudharyneelam]

Good thoughts Neelam Ji , Lage raho!!!!

I'm thankful to our moderators that they shifted this thread in time pass forum kyunki jawab dene ke liye time pass category person hi sabse pahle aaya. I was wrong to say that God use to walk a step before me earlier but now I feel God is walking beside me holding my hand. Thanks to moderators and God .....Ab main chahungi ki koi shararti praani aake iss thread par taala bhi lagwa do ......bahaut abhaari rahungi

 

[rlakra]

In all such cases, I'll blame Woman only as she has all the power and qualities that can make a man good or bad. By entering into such relations they are just putting their respect and values under other's feet. She must understand her all strong qualities and act like a gud sister to help her maintain a healthy relationship with her spouse. But jab apne aap ko saaliyan samajhke behan ke character ko bhool jaati hain, gadbad wahin hoti hai. A WOMAN has that strong qualities that she only helps the weakest person MAN to stand strongly and face the world. MAN was never strong but he was taken care of and supported and by that way only he proved himself to be stronger. A man can forget that he had learnt some gud qualities with his development but a woman should always remember that she is the only one who can make the man gud n respectable and in return she get all the things doubled for herself.

My message to all females- God has made us beautiful and strongest of all, but man was handed to us to make him look good and stronger as compared to woman. So, even if any married man try to invite you for any unhealthy relationship then you should help him to take the right track either directly speaking to him or by other indirect sources like many helplines.........cases where a married man don't reveal his marital status can be ignored, as there is a saying............"When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. If you can look up, you can get up".........after all we learn from mistakes also, but if you keep repeating then you don't have gud character. Rest, is your choice that from where you want to get luv, respect n concern and in what manner.

Saara theka sudharne ka ya har baar phoonk phoonk ke kadam rakhane ka females ne hi le rakha hai???
why always female has to blame a female............... why not men has to control their emotions and feelings towards a highly dignified female.
morever , if a man is married his entire moral and ethical sentiments and emotions should be for his legal wedded wife only.
If yes, and even then he is diverting his attention to another female and approaching her with lies ........... then he should be ready for all the consequences .

For a change, if any female cheats her husband and falls in any kind of realtionship with men .......... he should help her and stop her by not doing this.....

 

[akshaymalik84]

Saara theka sudharne ka ya har baar phoonk phoonk ke kadam rakhane ka females ne hi le rakha hai???
why always female has to blame a female............... why not men has to control their emotions and feelings towards a highly dignified female.
morever , if a man is married his entire moral and ethical sentiments and emotions should be for his legal wedded wife only.
If yes, and even then he is diverting his attention to another female and approaching her with lies ........... then he should be ready for all the consequences .

For a change, if any female cheats her husband and falls in any kind of realtionship with men .......... he should help her and stop her by not doing this.....

I thought women never cheats.......

 

[prashantacmet]

Female cheats for a change??..."change" in the sense that somehow females are sunk in "boredom" and is overwhelmed by a prevailing sense of ecstasy to discover some new "taste" ..is it so? do men cheat for a different purpose?

 

[prashantacmet]

morever , if a man is married his entire moral and ethical sentiments and emotions should be for his legal wedded wife only.
If yes, and even then he is diverting his attention to another female and approaching her with lies ........... then he should be ready for all the consequences .

.

How about the vice versa? Is there some sort of exemption for females? What if a female goes for a "change" and male is holding all his entire moral and ethical sentiments tight?

 

[vikasgulia]

Saara theka sudharne ka ya har baar phoonk phoonk ke kadam rakhane ka females ne hi le rakha hai???
why always female has to blame a female............... why not men has to control their emotions and feelings towards a highly dignified female.
morever , if a man is married his entire moral and ethical sentiments and emotions should be for his legal wedded wife only.
If yes, and even then he is diverting his attention to another female and approaching her with lies ........... then he should be ready for all the consequences .

For a change, if any female cheats her husband and falls in any kind of realtionship with men .......... he should help her and stop her by not doing this.....

इसे कहते हैं नारी का सही मायने में सशक्तिकरण, हम भी वही करेंगे जो इन मर्दों ने किया अब सुधारो.. हमें
- एक मोडर्न नारी!!

 

[dkumars]

Kitabon mein padha tha maine, purush ek chhavi hai
Naari ne khud mein bhawnaon ko samaya
Dono ko jodkar dekha to paya
Sunder chitvan jisne Rab ka roop darshaya

Purush teer to naari kamaan
Ik-duje bina na inki pehchaan
Ek agar talwaar bana to
Duje ne banke dhal saath nibhaya

Do sunder cheezon ka mail zaroori banta aise
Jaise Arjun akele ‘Geeta Ka Saar’ liye ranbhoomi mein na jeet paya
Naari bhi jeevan mein kimat rakhti aise
Jiske bina Ishwar iss sansaar ko nahin saja paya

Jeevan-maran ki dor to rachiyata ke haath
Rishton ki dor ka bhaar usne nar-naari ko hi sambhlaya
Maana vibhajan ki hai aaj ahmiyat kaafi
Rishton mein nahin, balki shrum mein isko batlaya

Gaate hain sab….’Satya hi Shiv hai, Shiv hi sunder hai’
Samajhte kyun nahi, iss sunder Shiv ko Gauri bin na koi pura kar paya
Purush ne agar naari ko suna aur samjha hai
Ye batlao kyun Ram fir ‘Hey Sitey! Hey Sitey!’ kah roya aur chillaya

Dono ko barabar zaroorat ek-duje ki
Kyun Bhagwan ne naari ko hi sehansheel bata apna bhed-bhaav chhupaya
Nar-naari khan gunon ki
Ek avgun ko dekh fir purush ne kyun naari ko thukraya​

I wrote something original after a long time and after some observations. If its nicely created then ok,.........thought behind this creation is.......why couples get seperated when they both once had decided to stay together? Little adjustment is required, little more acceptance is required by one in comparison to another..........why this beautiful knot is opened when they once celebrated together with all love and respect?, why Ego and Self-esteem becomes the blocking stone of this relationship?, why they talk more as individualistic when they both has to share and spend together?......lot many questions come to my mind. Would like to have valuable thoughts of elders who have experienced life, also from those who are seperated and are members here (my intention is pure and holistic, just want to understand from their point of view)......others with serious thought can also participate without hurting anybody's sentiments.


My concern is just to spread my message to all through this simple poem.....might not be that impressive like a professional writer, but feel inside is all of a woman who is being neglected by man in any form....Sorry, that I could not put the feelings of a man's heart like that of a woman and that's why asking men to put up their opinions in relation to this serious concern.

Excellent Neelam. Yaar tum toh sach mein kavyitri hi bann gayi. Really, nice composition.

But I observed, after every couple of threads you start a controversial topic esplly on genders. I guess, this fascinates you :0

This is how the society was. Many have understood the importance of each other and remaining all on the way. I don't feel at my home something of that sort happens and I am sure same is for many of us on this forum. Most of the cultures were/are male dominating which is changing gradually. This is a slow process and will take time.

Secondly, separation .... That's a different story all together. Have you not seen best friends being seprated and turned to bitter foes? Same is about siblings. Have you not seen people badmouthing their parents and relatives. This is a common and random process which depends upon the circumstances and surroundings but nothing particular about a particular relationship. Similarly, separation is not an exception among married couples. It's another delicate relationship, where day to day life activities, differences, arguments, disbelief etc could be easy causes to fall it apart.

 

[dkumars]

hmmm.......solution to this problem is all in individual's hand.
My message to all females- God has made us beautiful and strongest of all, but man was handed to us to make him look good and stronger as compared to woman. So, even if any married man try to invite you for any unhealthy relationship then you should help him to take the right track either directly speaking to him or by other indirect sources like many helplines.........cases where a married man don't reveal his marital status can be ignored, as there is a saying............"When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. If you can look up, you can get up".........after all we learn from mistakes also, but if you keep repeating then you don't have gud character. Rest, is your choice that from where you want to get luv, respect n concern and in what manner.

Neelam, please dont mind but I wanna say something.

* The people(both men and women) who are matured enough to understand life and relationship do not need any kinda advices from anyone.
* The ones who are immature, no suggestion/advice/counseling can help them. You can just monitor them but can't control.

In both the cases, advices are of no use. Just think are they?

Anyway, nice to read your views. You write good.

 

[choudharyneelam]

Saara theka sudharne ka ya har baar phoonk phoonk ke kadam rakhane ka females ne hi le rakha hai???
why always female has to blame a female............... why not men has to control

Beautiful thoughts but dear this is my way of making men realise even if I put a woman on blame........as I feel "If you want to kill a man, be polite"........insaan ke munh par karara thappad marne se accha hai uske andar ke bure insaan ko maaro. Main bhi kaafi feel karti hun jab kahin bhi kisi female ko dukhi hote dekhti hun lekin fir usi lady ko blame bhi issliye karti hun kyunki mujhe ye pata hai sunne aur apne aap ko badalne ki kshamta bhi wahi rakhti hai.........aadmi agar itna sun sakta to baat hi kya thi (though exceptions r everywhere) .......rest, try to understand what I had expressed.....even after blaming a woman I've praised her strongest quality and depicted man's weakest character. Its all in my words.

.....and nice to see you raising your opinions like this. I really appreciate you!!

Regards!

 

[choudharyneelam]

Excellent Neelam. Yaar tum toh sach mein kavyitri hi bann gayi.

Bas yahi kasar baaki thi. Thankyou aur ab ye Kavyitri ka Taaj kisi aur ke sar par sajao.....main to Samar ke vicharon se sehmat hun

Now about my opinions on relationship..........I know that seperation takes place in almost every relationship b'coz of circumstances n surroundings as you told. But, wahi janna chahti thi ki unn rishton ko nibhane mein kya zor aata hai jo pahle samajh nahin aata. Misunderstandings kisme nahin hoti, uske liye bhagwan ne ladai banai hui hai lekin with limit. Agar jyada ladoge to desh ke batware ki tarah parivaar bhi batenge. Pahle to sansaar bata, fir Desh bata, fir praant, fir parivaar aur ab to jodiyaan bhi bat rahi hain. Anyways no use of discussion. I got the answers Agar ye kaam bhi main sambhal lungi to Relationship Counselors kya karenge aur kya to Court mein baithe vakeel karenge. Issliye jiska kaam hai unhe hi sambhalne do. Maine iss ahode se istifa diya Now, on search of new job

 

[choudharyneelam]

Neelam, please dont mind but I wanna say something.
........................ life and relationship do not need any kinda advices from anyone.

Agreed again! .....no public advice. Will use it only for my students in my profession . Gaaliyaan to wahan bhi milengi aur naye naye naam niklenge lekin wahan to apni karke chhodungi ......innocent kids/students/learners