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पहला बावला ----- में महात्मा गांधी सूं |
दुसरा बावला ----- लागता ते कोणी ,तेरे ताहि किः ने बताई ?
पहला बावला ------ भगवान् ने |
तीसरा बावला ----- मन्ने किम्मे ना बताई ,यु झूठ बोले स |
 
रमलू की मास्टर से हुई लड़ाई


मासटर ने रमलू की करदी धुनाई


रमलू का गरम हुआ खून


गया कबर्स्तान


और कबर पर मास्टर की तस्वीर टांग कर

लिखा नीचे


कम्मिंग सून

 
एक लड़के की शादी हुई और वो अपनी सुन्दर पत्नी को देख कर खुश हो कर बोला " बन्दर के गले में मोतियों का हार ",|उसकी पत्नी खुश हुई तो वो बोला लगता हे हार नकली हे | पत्नी बोली " तो क्या हुआ बन्दर तो असली हे "|
 
BIMAARI in Bollywood style-
1. Jiya Jale jaan jale, Raat bhar dhuan chale : FEVER
2. Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi : HEART ATTACK
3. Juda hoke bhi tu mujhme kanhi baaki hai : CONSTIPATION
4. Bidi jalayile jigar se piya jigar ma badi aag hai: ACIDITY
... 5. Tujhme rab dikhta hai yaara main kya karoon : CATARACT
6.Tujhe yaad na meri aayi kisi se ab kya kahna : ALZEIMERS
7. Mann dole mera tann dole : VERTIGO.. — with Mukesh Bavishi.
 
सोनू (पिता से)- हमारे पड़ोसी बड़े गरीब लगते हैं।

पीता (सोनू से)- तुम ऐसा कैसे कह सकते हो?

सोनू- उनके बच्चे ने सीर्फ एक चवन्नी नीगली थी और उसकी मां ने रो-रोकर बुरा हाल कर लीया।
 
An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.

"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.

"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"

"A rose?" asked the neighbor.

"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"
 
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"

The room really got quiet.

Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

"Yes?" replied the teacher.

"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
 
jaatdesi said:
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"

The room really got quiet.

Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

"Yes?" replied the teacher.

"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Click to expand...

मजा बांध दिया भाई, बोहोत बढ़िया
 
RRRRAAAAAJ​JJJAAANIka​nt..........

1).Once upon a time Rajnikanth used a tooth powder to get strong teeth..... . . . . . . . . today that powder is used as AMBUJA CEMENT

2).Once Rajnikanth was playing Cricket and Rain Stopped due to Heavy Play...

3).Once Rajnikanth gone for a walk and after one hour police arrested him u know why ?????
He reached USA and having No Visa with him

4).Rajnikanth was practicing for spelling test. The rough sheet he used is today known as the oxford dictionary!!

5).Hrithik tried to participate in a dance competition with Rajnikanth.... Result: He is in a wheel chair in Gujarish.

6).Rajnikanth was once told to choose 3 subjects when he got admission in jr.college................ He chose science,arts and commerce!!!!!!!

7).Rajnikanth can make calls from his iPod to his iPad...!!!

8).One nite, while asleep, Rajnikanth was mumbling some random numbrs... That's how the Log table was invented.

9).One day Rajnikanth bunked school. Since then it is known as Sunday

10).Once Rajnikanth was on the hot seat of KBC....
And the computer needed lifeline to choose the question. Mind it!

11).Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you?
Rajini: Rascala, how do you think the earth spins!?

12).Roger Federer: I know everything about tennis. You can ask me anything.
Rajnikanth: Ok. Tell me, how many holes are there in the NET??

13). All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did...
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa... mind it!!!
 
Why do we sometimes write 'etc' at the end in the exam?

bcoz it means... E-End of T-thinking C-capacity.
-----------------------------------------
How to Create d Biggest Doubt in ur Wife's Mind 4 u? ? ? ? ? ?

Just Suddenly send her SMS Saying.. "I Luv u too" . .
GAME OVER.!
-----------------------------------------

When do you knw ur in love?

Ans. When you start searching for the cheapest mobile plan

-----------------------------------------

Wht is the Diff b/w Young Age & Old Age?

* Simple.. In Young Age Phone Is Full Of Darlings Numbers.. In Old Age Its Full of Doctors Numbers..!

- -----------------------------------------

"Why is Facebook such a hit? It works on the principle that-

'People are more interested in others life than their own-!

-----------------------------------------

A Ques Asked In A Talent Test: If You Are Married To 1 Of The Twin Sisters, How wud You Recognize YourWIFE?

The Best Answer - Why d Hell Should I recognise?

-----------------------------------------

V Pronounce 22 as TwentyTwo, 33 as Thirty Three, 44 as FortyFour, 55 as FiftyFive, Why not 11 as OnetyOne?

Doubt By last bench asociation...
-----------------------------------------

What is the diff.between"GHAZAL" &"LECTURE"?

Every word spoken by thegirlfriend is "GHAZAL"andEvery word spoken by wife is "LECTURE"

-----------------------------------------

Wats d diff btwn Pongal n idly?think.think..think...

U ll get a holidayfor pongal but not for idly.

----------------------------------------

What will be the girl's name born on 1st of APRIL?

Guess Guess GuessGuess "FOOLAN DEVI..

-----------------------------------------

Why does d bride & groom xchange garlands at d time of wedding.....

B'coz they say each affectionately that : "DARLING NOW U RDEAD"...........

-----------------------------------------

Wat is d Biggest Benefit of having a crush in d same college where ustudy ? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

100% Attendence... :-P -----------------------------------------

Teacher: What Is The Differnce HIMAMI & SUNAMI Tintu: HIMAMI is Face Wash, SUNAMI is Total Wash.!

-----------------------------------------

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend "U r my Best Friend" But Do u have courage tell to ur Wife "U r my Best Wife?"
 
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The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."
 
You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"
 
ravinderjeet said:
एक लड़के की शादी हुई और वो अपनी सुन्दर पत्नी को देख कर खुश हो कर बोला " बन्दर के गले में मोतियों का हार ",|उसकी पत्नी खुश हुई तो वो बोला लगता हे हार नकली हे | पत्नी बोली " तो क्या हुआ बन्दर तो असली हे "|
Click to expand...

हा...हा...हा...यो तो आज इ देख्या...बांदर ताहीं मोतियां की माला ना चलै भाई...ऊह की ताहीं तो बांदरी इ चाहिए, वा भी बांदर की तरिया कती असली...हा...हा...हा...
 
#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!
#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-
TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-
TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him?"
PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-

PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and
one is blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at
home.

#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-

TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-

TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no
longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher
 
Rohit woke up one fine morning with a huge hangover. He forced himself
to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins
and a glass of water on the side table. He sat down and sees his clothing
in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and
notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left
early to go shopping. Love You!"
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and
the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Rohit
asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black
eye
when you stumbled into the door".
Totally Confused, Rohit asks, "So, why is everything in order and so
clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for
me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when
she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said , "hey !!!!!!!
leave me alone! I'm married!"

Moral


Breakfast -- Rs. 100.00
Self-induced hangover -- Rs. 2000.00
Broken furniture -- Rs. 20,000.00
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk - PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
ManMohan Singh ko Sonia Gandhi ne Rahul Gandhi ke liye ladki dhundhne ka kaam diya h... Jab ManMohan ne ladki ki requirement poochi to Sonia ne kaha bilkul aap jaisi jo kuch na bole or jaisa kahe vaisa hi kare...
 
संता की सुहागरात


एक बै सुहागरात आले दिन सरदारनी कपडे तार कै बोली संता तै,
पता है ना क्या करना है ?
संता - मै इतनी रात नै लत्ते ना धोऊं
 
nainsunil007 said:
संता की सुहागरात


एक बै सुहागरात आले दिन सरदारनी कपडे तार कै बोली संता तै,
पता है ना क्या करना है ?
संता - मै इतनी रात नै लत्ते ना धोऊं
Click to expand...

Bhai joke to badiyaa tha par yo suhagraat ala din kun sa ho se mere hisaab te to raat a honi chahiye thi..................
 
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