Share None Jat Jokes

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Rajkamal said:
wat do u call a lady who dinks tea only once in a day!!
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JASWANTI..​
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i would like to comment on your tag line mentioned at the bottom of your message. " jat ke do thikane, ek theka ek thana".
dont bring disrepute to your race. the above mentined line would be, " jat ke do thikane, ek ran ka maidan or ek kheti ka maidan".
and in very near future it will be like that, " jat ke do thikane, ek shiksha ka maidan or ek vedic gyan ka maidan"
 
Rawan:-cigerette hai kya?
Hanuman:-Nahi hai,
Ram:-Jhuth Q bol rahe ho.?
Hanuman:- Prabhu aap chup rahiye saale ke 10 sir hai puri dabbi pee jayega.​
 
संता ने अमेरिका के एक स्कूल में दाखिला लिया, स्कूल का पहला दिन था, अध्यापिका बच्चों से सवाल कर रही थी अध्यापिकाः आईये अमेरिका के इतिहास पर नजर डालकर पढ़ाई शुरु करते हैं। बताओ किसने कहा था 'मुझे आजादी दो या मौत दे दे' पूरी क्लास खामोश रही सिर्फ संता ने जवाब दियाः पेट्रिक हैनरी 1775 अध्यापिकाः बहुत अच्छे, अब बताओ ये वाक्य किसका है, 'धरती से जनता के लिए, जनता द्वारा, जनती की सरकार नहीं समाप्त होनी चाहिए' इस बार भी पूरी क्लॉस खामोश रही सिर्फ संता ने जवाब दियाः अब्राहम लिंकन 1863 अध्यापिकाः पूरी क्लॉस को शर्म आनी चाहिए, एक भारतीय छात्र को अमेरिका का इतिहास ज्यादा मालूम है। इस पर एक छात्र पीछे से बोलाः 'इंडियंस को मारो' अध्यापिका (गुस्से में)- ये किसने कहा संताः जनरल क्लस्टर 1862 संता के इस एक और जवाब पर एक अमेरिकी बच्चा बोला, 'मैं उल्टी कर दूंगा' अध्यापिका (झल्लाते हुए)- अब ये किसने कहा संताः जार्ज बुश ने जापानी प्रधानमंत्री से 1991 में अब पूरी क्लास झल्लाने लगी, एक अमेरिकी छात्र बोल पड़ा, 'ओह्ह ये, सक दिस' यह सुनकर संता अपनी सीट से खड़ा हो गया अध्यापिका की ओर चिल्लाते हुए बोलाः बिल क्लिंटन टू मोनिका लेविंस्की, 1997 संता के इस एक और जवाब पर पूरी क्लास का दिमाग खराब हो गया, किसी ने चिल्लाते हुए कहा, 'अगर अब तुमने एक शब्द भी बोला तो मैं तुम्हारी जान ले लूंगा' यह सुनकर संता पूरे जोश के साथ चिल्लायाः माईकल जैक्सन, अपने खिलाफ गवाही दे रहे बच्चे से, 2004 में संता के इस जवाब पर अध्यापिका बेहोश हो गई, सारे बच्चे उसके चारों और इकट्ठा हो गए। किसी एक ने कहा, 'ओह्ह शिट, हम बुरी तरह फंस गए हैं' इस पर संता बोलाः जार्ज बुश, इराक युद्ध के दौरान 2007​
 
Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi.
 
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Sardar naha rha tha
Dost ne awaz Lgai to
Nanga hi bhar aa gya
Dost-Besharm kuch to phen leta
Srdar bhag k andr gya
OR
PAGDI pahen k aa gaya.​
 
1 Bar Chor Pakadne Ki Masin Bni

USA Me-1 Din Me 9 Pkde Gye
China Me-30
UK Me-50
India Me-1 Ghante Me 'Masine'Chori Ho Gyi
Mera Bharat Mahan​
 
Teacher:Tum Bde HoKar Kya
Kroge
Boy:Shadi
Tchr:Nhi,Mera Mtlab H Kya
Bnoge
Boy-Dulha
Tchr-oh,I Mean Bade HoKr Kya
Hasil Kroge
Boy-Dulhan​
 
DR: Maine aisi CREAM dhundhi hai
jo Lagao to 40yr ki Lady 20 ki
lagegi
Frnd:To KHUB bikti hogi?
Dr: Nahi yaar, Koi Lady apne ko 40
ki SaMjE tab na !!!!!​
 
# Valentines Day Special #

Jaat Ladke ne Slim si Ladki ko SMS bheja ::
Chehra bhi tera khas koni,
Haddiyo pe tere maas koni,
Propose tane k khaak kru,
Teri to 14 Feb tk Jinne ki b aas koni...!!!​
 
Ek dhobi ki sakal raja se milti thi,,,
raja dhobi se,,
raja:teri maa mehal me kaam karti thi kya,,,
dhobi:ni huzur mere pitaji app ke mehal me kaam karte the..​
 
Hindi Teacher: Gali kya hai??
Student: krodh ke samay mukh se nikley ashudh shabadon ka samuuh, jinke uchharan ke pashchat vayakti ke hriday ko shanti ka anubhav hota hai...:tongue:
 
Tim pass vd santa-banta

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[TR]
[TD]Multiplications

Teacher : santa, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

Santa : You told me to do it without using tables.


An essay on a cricket match
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.

All were busy writing except our Santaji.

He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"


Biwi ko padhaunga
Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir Phd karwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga.

Banta : fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyo


Santa frog



Cigarette
santa apne father k samne cigrate pi raha tha

Logon ne kaha ke aap apne father ke samne cigratte pi rahay ho?

Santa bola : Wo mera father hai, koi petrol pump thodi.

Imagine
Interviewer : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?

Santa : Simple, Stop imagining.


Santa fell out
Q: Why did Santa fall out the window ?

A: He was ironing the curtain


Brake fail
Santa : O Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?

Biwi : Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.


Banta fell in love
Banta fell in love with a porno star and married her. He got an opportunity to watch one of her movie.... the Movie came to an End.

A bit disturbed and annoyed with what he saw, Banta told himself, "Thank God it was just a movie and not reality."


Fighting
santa banta were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?

santa : This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?

santa: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.

The Plane Ride
Santa traveling 1st time in plane going to BOMBAY,
while landing, he shouted : "BOMBAY-BOMBAY",

air hostess : " B-silent please ",
santa said : " OMBAY - OMBAY.....!!!!!!!! "

[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
 
मैं उन चार लोगों को एक मुद्दत से ढूँढ रहा हूँ, जिनको मेरी पर्सनल लाइफ में इतना इंटरेस्ट है कि घरवाले हमेशा बोलते हैं -
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`चार लोग देखेंगे तो क्या कहेंगे!`​
 
An indigenous example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.​

A representative from India began:

"Before begining my speech I want to tell you sumthing about Rishi Kashyap of kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named.

When he found a beautiful lake, he thought- "What a good opportunity to have a bath",

He removed his clothes,put them aside on the rock and entered in the water.

When he got out and wanted to dress up, his clothes had vanished.

A Pakistani had stolen them!

The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously n shouted "What are you talking about?"

The Pakistanis weren't there then."

Indian representative smiled and said,
"And now that we have made that clear, i'll begin my speech."

"And they say Kashmir
belongs to them" :D :D :D
​
 
Girl to Doctor: Doctor..meri skin bahut soft and sensitive hai and mera rang bhi bahut jyada gora hai...........main soney se pehle kya lagaun..?????

Doctor:-
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Darwajey ki Kundi...:tongue:
 
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