Should a widow remarry or not..?????

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dndeswal said:
ravichaudhary said:
I will challenge you to show me where the concept of "Niyog" is practised by Jats, even on a small scale.


The central point is that traditionally, we Jats are already following the best options for remarriage of widows, compared to other societies.
.

I have read the Satyarth Prakash.

It does not talk about Widow remarriage but about "Niyog", which is the "renting/contracting" out of the woman's womb to create offspring.

" Niyog" is not remarriage.


The MBH story can also be questioned.

It is vast body of literature, much of it fictional.

The MBH was being revised right upto 100 years ago.

We do not know who inserted the Niyog story and when.

The MBH also contains other stories, which support 1st cousin marriage,which is not a Jat concept, bt is a custom followed in the South Indian Brahmin and non Brahmin societies.

Some caution re the MBH may not be entirely out of order.

Since this topic is about Widow remarriage and its relationship to the Jat society and culture-

I agree with you completely that the jats were following the best treatment of women, which included the common widespread custom of their remarriage, and that was the most desirable option.



Ravi Chaudhary
 
Raviji,
I will get back to to the current topic later but regarding about "jat world".net issue I raised this point in my post earlier... it doesn't appear becuz mention of this word is banned here... I don't understand whats wrong in quoting some nice material from that website... Do we mean to spread factitious feeling by such references? I don't understand...
no moderator responded to my request, nobody even cares about such queries... none of other requests of members like a forum for "development" or "health and fitness" are properly addressed by moderators... Only thing they know is "delete" key... And I don't feel shy in stating it publically...

-Vinod



ravichaudhary said:
I had typed in ********.net

the word "Jat World" as one word '********' does not appear.

Any reason it does not appear?

Could adminstrators please advise?
 
vinodks said:
Raviji,
I will get back to to the current topic later but regarding about "jat world".net issue I raised this point in my post earlier... it doesn't appear becuz mention of this word is banned here... I don't understand whats wrong in quoting some nice material from that website... Do we mean to spread factitious feeling by such references? I don't understand...
no moderator responded to my request,

-Vinod




is the term "Jat world.net "' one word " " ********.net" banned from this site?

Perhaps this section should be shifted by moderators to the appropriate section.

Perhaps the problem could just be addressed, without a molehill becoming a mountain.

Could one of the administrators take the lead ?
 
ravichaudhary said:
dndeswal said:
I have read the Satyarth Prakash.

It does not talk about Widow remarriage but about "Niyog", which is the "renting/contracting" out of the woman's womb to create offspring.

Ravi Chaudhary


First thing first. I am not saying what Swamy Dayanand said was right or wrong. But I am saying what exactly he has said about niyog and remarriage.

1. Satyarth prakash me niyog stri aur purush dono ke liye likha hai. so your saying renting the womb and articifical machine, a producer of a baby is not correct. Why not say renting the sperm??? According to Dayanand a lady can go to man and man can also go a lady to have kids.(If you wish I can send the exact word he has said in the next post)

2. He did say about the remarriage of vidhawa/vidhur, but only if they have not lived togather. It is just before the question where he has said what is wrong in remarriage.





You seem to have a very good knowledge of vedas. May I know whose translation do you follow?
 
ARUN

I have not read satyarth parkash,but what I read from on going disscussion lead me to conclude that what You said and what Ravi ji said is pretty much the same, short of,one night stand with out any responsibility and totally different from what we jats follow in our society ,wether it is renting the womb or renting the sperm, it is one and the samething. .

We never heard anywhere any time in our memory(not to talk about mahabharata,which may or may not be true)any thing like Niyogh in jat society,and such as a custom is totally looked down in our society.

What Ravi ji wanted to clarify, and is abosulute true is, that this niyogh is not our custom.

From your 2nd point about stayarth parkash it looks swami ji was not entirly in favour of widow remarriage,since you say that only if,can you put exact words what swami ji said about widow remarriage in different circumstances.

But what is most important to note, and pointed out by both deswal ji and ravi ji is,
JATS HAVE BEEN PRACTISING THE BEST TRADITIONS IN WIDOW REMARRIAGE

and those who tried to belittle these customs are themselves saying....

These are higher traditions followed by jats.

SEE WHAT A CURIOUS TURN OF FATE.
 
Dear all,

A healthy debate is going on but the topic has unnecessarily been diverted to a petty issue. None, including me, can accept the fact that such practices are now in use in our societies, despite mention in our ancient books. Hence, it is not proper to drag this topic further in this thread and we should concentrate on the issue of remarriage of widows. The sum is that Jats are already following the best options available for a widow's marriage.

We have heard this from our elders and it is not written anywhere - At the time of third battle of Panipat, many Maratha soldiers had brought their families along with them since they feared that they might have to stay for a longer period. The soldiers went to Panipat to participate in the battle, leaving their families in the villages around Rohtak, requesting Jat families to look after them till they return. 'Dange' community in Maharashtra is a warrior one, like us, and it is believed that 'Dangi' and 'Dange' have the same ancestors. Many soldiers were killed in the battle of Panipat but many of their widows did not go back to Maharashtra and they ultimately mingled in our society, mostly by remarrying. Many Jat soldiers from Haryana also lost their lives during this battle. This is not a very old incident - The battle took place in the year 1761. Being a warrior community, we used to face the problem of how best to adjust a widow in society and our ancestors were able to solve this to the maximum possible.

The recent examples are two major wars with Pakistan (1965 and 1971) and another low-intensity war of Kargil some years back - thousands of Jat soldiers got martyrdom in these battles and their widows were adjusted in society. Even today, hundreds of armymen lose their lives per year in internal conflicts in Kashmir and elsewhere.

As rightly pointed by many members, times are changing - and with the passage of time, traditions too undergo a change. The citations from earlier books is just to guide us and know something about our old rituals. But today's school education in India, which is 'secular' in nature, bars our children from such ancient knowledge.


(Arun Kumar's post - No. 44, last page - is perpahs pointing towards Ravi chaudhary but by mistake, on top of the thread 'dndeswal' is written)

.
 
Last edited:
thx Mr. Ravi to bring this thread back to its track.Otherwise peoples started debating on an unrelated topic.


ravichaudhary said:
It is perfectly acceptable that a widowed girl, be married off, to anyone who is suitable, be they in the extended family, and for greater clarity,or outside the extended family if no suitable match could be found in the extended family.

This was and is the tradition.


In future , we may expect less of remmariage in the extended family, and the norm to be of re-marriage of the widowed girl outside the family.

Widow re marriage is also now being accepted in " sanathan dharmi" hindus, and we will see more and more of that in the future.
 
Deswal Sahab ki fotu

Raj Rathee Ji....this thread is not meant for commenting on photos...for that we have a separate thread...Jaton ke muskurate chehre...please post your comments there....dont divert the flow of this thread....Please

raj_rathee said:
Vaise Deswal yaar, aapki photo Swami Dhaynand ki portrait se bahot milti julti hai.
Koi relationship hai kya unse ?
 
ravichaudhary. We do not know who inserted the Niyog story and when. Ravi Chaudhary[/QUOTE said:
If I understood correctly, didn't we have this tradition even during Mahabharat period ? Dhratrastra, Pandu, Vidur and all the five Pandavs were born through such arrangements. There were well laid down rules for this.

Rajendra
 
sunitahooda said:
Raj Rathee Ji....this thread is not meant for commenting on photos...for that we have a separate thread...Jaton ke muskurate chehre...please post your comments there....dont divert the flow of this thread....Please

Galti ho gaye meri Ma. Munnae maaf kar de. :p
 
dndeswal said:
Dear all,
(Arun Kumar's post - No. 44, last page - is perpahs pointing towards Ravi chaudhary but by mistake, on top of the thread 'dndeswal' is written)
.

Deswal ji, You are right...I was commenting on Ravi's post and not on yours. sorry for the confusion.:)
 
raj_rathee said:
Vaise Deswal yaar, aapki photo Swami Dhaynand ki portrait se bahot milti julti hai.
Koi relationship hai kya unse ?

HAHA ! Yaar Rathi, yah khoob kahi ! Bhai, photo ka tey pata na, par shayad 1-2 cheez milti hongi - ek to mera naam milta hai. Aur doosre mein University level tak Sanskrit padha hoon (Honours degree in Sanskrit from Punjab University, Chandigarh - not from a Gurukul). Par bhai, manney tey kade bi nyuun nah sochya ke mein koi vidvaan hoon - sayad aap sare USA wale hi jyada padhe likhe honge - baki sari duniya ke Jat tey inn USA walon ke aage anpadh ey honge !

Kai anpadh log nyuun kahte sunne sein ki Yoh Swami Dayanand bi Jat-e tha. Nah teh kyoon zahar (poison) khaa kar marta (ek musalmaan ney unko zahar diya tha). Nyuun bi kahya karein ki Shivji bi Jat tha - doosre devta amritpaan kar rahe the aur zahar uss Shiv ke zimme aaya.

Aur Bhai, aap ne aapni photo to kya, apna occupation, phone no. e-mail etc. kuchh bhi nahin likh raakhya. Ab Bhala mein aap ke photo per kya comment karoon? Manney tey bhai sab kuchh likh rakha sey - aur photo bi. Bhai, hamare ko kuchh bi chupaane ki ke zaroorat sey? Koi Dawood wale kaam thode-ey kar rakhye sein?

Mazaak sey bhai, bura mat maaniyo!
.
 
dndeswal said:
HAHA ! Yaar Rathi, yah khoob kahi ! Bhai, photo ka tey pata na, par shayad 1-2 cheez milti hongi - ek to mera naam milta hai. Aur doosre mein University level tak Sanskrit padha hoon (Honours degree in Sanskrit from Punjab University, Chandigarh - not from a Gurukul). Par bhai, manney tey kade bi nyuun nah sochya ke mein koi vidvaan hoon - sayad aap sare USA wale hi jyada padhe likhe honge - baki sari duniya ke Jat tey inn USA walon ke aage anpadh ey honge !

Kai anpadh log nyuun kahte sunne sein ki Yoh Swami Dayanand bi Jat-e tha. Nah teh kyoon zahar (poison) khaa kar marta (ek musalmaan ney unko zahar diya tha). Nyuun bi kahya karein ki Shivji bi Jat tha - doosre devta amritpaan kar rahe the aur zahar uss Shiv ke zimme aaya.

Aur Bhai, aap ne aapni photo to kya, apna occupation, phone no. e-mail etc. kuchh bhi nahin likh raakhya. Ab Bhala mein aap ke photo per kya comment karoon? Manney tey bhai sab kuchh likh rakha sey - aur photo bi. Bhai, hamare ko kuchh bi chupaane ki ke zaroorat sey? Koi Dawood wale kaam thode-ey kar rakhye sein?

Mazaak sey bhai, bura mat maaniyo!
.

At the risk of being scolded by Sunita :p ......

Actually Deswal (sir), my pops is a big fan of Swami Dayanand, and I have
on occasion been forced to sit through the fire ceremony (forget what its called..
..but Arya Samajis do that daily to purify the air..havan ????). We used to live
in Dar-Es-Salaam (Tanzania) and Arya Samajis were active there. [BTW...pops
used to work for external affairs as well.] So Swami Dayanand's portrait is etched
in my mind and I found your pic. reminded me very much of him....even
before this thread got started.

Rahi baat USA walon ke Padhe likhe hone ki...toh...he he he he....you'd
be surprised at the numbskulls you'll find here. So its a misconception for
sure. Computer Science ki degree le ke koi padha likha na honta. Baaki
koi Jat kissi ne faalto tae oon bhi na maanta....Ha ha ha ha...
So fikar na karo.

Vaise jahan tak maine suna hai Swami Dayanand was killed by some nacchne
waali by mixing powdered glass in his milk.

Regarding my pic...well everytime I put something up Nitin
takes it off. Don't know what the deal is. ANyways, nu socch lo ki
khaan peen mein ko kami na raakh rakhi. Baaki tae apne Jatan jissa e soon. :D :D

In California. Software Industry. Email is in my profile so can
always send an email. ...BTW...Modern day professional
life mein keeping one's private info private isn't that bad an idea. Pasting it
all over the net has its issues......
 
raj_rathee said:
At the risk of being scolded by Sunita :p ......

Actually Deswal (sir), my pops is a big fan of Swami Dayanand, and I have
on occasion been forced to sit through the fire ceremony (forget what its called..
..but Arya Samajis do that daily to purify the air..havan ????). We used to live
in Dar-Es-Salaam (Tanzania) and Arya Samajis were active there. [BTW...pops
used to work for external affairs as well.] So Swami Dayanand's portrait is etched
in my mind and I found your pic. reminded me very much of him....even
before this thread got started.

Rahi baat USA walon ke Padhe likhe hone ki...toh...he he he he....you'd
be surprised at the numbskulls you'll find here. So its a misconception for
sure. Computer Science ki degree le ke koi padha likha na honta. Baaki
koi Jat kissi ne faalto tae oon bhi na maanta....Ha ha ha ha...
So fikar na karo.

Vaise jahan tak maine suna hai Swami Dayanand was killed by some nacchne
waali by mixing powdered glass in his milk.

Regarding my pic...well everytime I put something up Nitin
takes it off. Don't know what the deal is. ANyways, nu socch lo ki
khaan peen mein ko kami na raakh rakhi. Baaki tae apne Jatan jissa e soon. :D :D

In California. Software Industry. Email is in my profile so can
always send an email. ...BTW...Modern day professional
life mein keeping one's private info private isn't that bad an idea. Pasting it
all over the net has its issues......





Arre ow Raj singh....bhai tu ya jelli thha ke kisse ho ke kandhhe pe matt dhrya karr jhikoi. Dayanad ji kaffi sobhaya aur shant parvarti ke sajjan purush sein bhai.I have known him for many years and frankly this gentleman does not need such comments.If you meet him once then you will repent using these lines.Frankly he is too decent a person. Bhai thodda dhyaan rakhnna chahiye maryadda ka. Par Raj bhai tanne sawaade na aawe bina ye panchpelli karein...ha...ha..ha. Anyways burra matt maniye Raj chhorre...i just thought to advise you on this particular issue. Orr ke saang chal rhya se aajkal...update de diye. God bless!
 
Yes, widows must get married to a suitable person.In our society women suffer at large and we know the plight of widows too well.....Jindaggi haraam kar deta hei jammana.Ofcorse they get raw deal most of the time on the question of choice while re-marrying but still they are much more safer in wedlock than being alone.Our society does not sympathize with unfortunate side of these women,rather it exploits the situation.What Dayanand Deswal ji has said has a logic.
 
devdahiya said:
Arre ow Raj singh....bhai tu ya jelli thha ke kisse ho ke kandhhe pe matt dhrya karr jhikoi. Dayanad ji kaffi sobhaya aur shant parvarti ke sajjan purush sein bhai.I have known him for many years and frankly this gentleman does not need such comments.If you meet him once then you will repent using these lines.Frankly he is too decent a person. Bhai thodda dhyaan rakhnna chahiye maryadda ka. Par Raj bhai tanne sawaade na aawe bina ye panchpelli karein...ha...ha..ha. Anyways burra matt maniye Raj chhorre...i just thought to advise you on this particular issue. Orr ke saang chal rhya se aajkal...update de diye. God bless!

Hey Bhagwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn !!!!! Chacha, mein tae apni jaan
mein bahot acche tareeke tae boloon tha...Deswal sir ki acchayee kar raha tha...
ya issme bhi Jelli dighk gaye tae, mein eeb nu socchoon sun kade sacchi jeli tha li
tae ke hoga :D :D :D :D :D....

Chacha aapne galat samjha. Mein toh poora polite ho kae bol raha tha...

Anyways, great to see you back. Site aap ki bina kucch pheeke
si pad gayee thi. Welocme back....
 
raj_rathee said:
Hey Bhagwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn !!!!! Chacha, mein tae apni jaan
mein bahot acche tareeke tae boloon tha...Deswal sir ki acchayee kar raha tha...
ya issme bhi Jelli dighk gaye tae, mein eeb nu socchoon sun kade sacchi jeli tha li
tae ke hoga :D :D :D :D :D....

Chacha aapne galat samjha. Mein toh poora polite ho kae bol raha tha...

Anyways, great to see you back. Site aap ki bina kucch pheeke
si pad gayee thi. Welocme back....



Theek bhai.....good one...i liked it. Ferr theek sei bhai.........Got it. Thanks Raj...was a little occupied in ghar-grehsti.....Tu bhi fansse ga tawalaye...ha...ha..ha. Nyu chhadda na handde saari jindaggi......Dheedhh aa jyan gi jib treppanni ne lyawegga.....[no disrespect to women folks plese] Ha..ha..ha.
 
To tie up some questions:

1. Deswal sahib puts it’s correctly, that our Jat community has had the best way of dealing with bereavement of the lady, by encouraging re marriage.



2. To Arun’s question:

MY KNOWLEDGE OF THE VEDAS.

I would be wrong to claim I have any knowledge of the Vedas.

I know no Sanskrit, and am therefore delighted to see that Deswal sahib has a MA in Sanskrit.

If he is willing, I would like him to help us interpret some Sanskrit texts. This will of immense value in our Historical investigations, especially on the Jathistory group, where we have to deal with outsiders, and there is a constant argument of what the text means.

My approach the study of the Vedas, from a historical perspective, is that we are dealing with only one version- the Sayana version.

Sayana was a “caste Brahmin” minister in the Vijaynagar Kingdom circa 15th century AD.

It is his interpretation that has taken hold on the Hindu society, and it is his version that was translated by the Europeans.

He was a South Indian, unfamiliar with the northern culture where the Rg and other Vedas were composed.

Since the Vedas were already obscure by the 6th century BCE (Panini’s times- conventional dating) and three centuries before him also obscure (time of Yaksha), then Sayana's interpretation cannot be accepted as carved in stone.

Indeed since he would have been unfamiliar with Northern Cultural practices, his interpretation must be suspect, especially as he is dealing with a text that was composed ( even by western dating), some 3,000 years before his time. By Indian historians dating the RV is dated some 4,000 to 5,000 years before Sayana.

The interpretations ignore the Jat perspective, which they should not as the bulk of the Tribes and Rishis have Jat Goths..

This document has to be interpreted afresh, from a Jat perspective, as to what it means and does not mean.

3 To: KHALKANDE SAHIBS QUESTION RE THE MAHABHARAT:

The Mahabharat (MBH) is an epic that has been expanded and re expanded time and time again.

Originally known as the “Jai” it has 8000 shlokas, and then it was expanded to have 24,000 slokas, finally to over 120,000 slokas.

These revisions, re revisions, expansions continued right upto the late 19th century. The composition of the MHz as we know is today took well over 2500 years, even by conservative dating.

The MBH contains much historical data, and the kernel of the story has some truth, but one should question the various stories and customs that have been grafted on, to suit a certain perspective.

Hence I question the customs of 1st cousin marriage ascribed to Lord Krishna? which I suspect is a late interpolating to suit an existing south Indian Brahmin custom.

Ditto for Niyog etc.

The priestly panda, first inserts these customs, and then uses them as an existing Dharmic rule, for society to follow.

Ditto too for the treatment of the Jat tribes, who are shown as degraded, uncouth etc? The term used for them is Jarta, which many writers today take to mean Jats. The problem with this story it was an 18th century interpolation.


Hence my question, at what point of the time line of the expansion were these stories inserted in the MBH.

In other words, when looking at these texts, as historical evidence, they should be treated with some caution.

We have discussed much of this on the Yahoo Jat history group. A visit to the archives there may not be unfruitful.

Those bored with the Historical digression, please excuse me this time. I suggest any further discussion on the technical historical aspect be on the History section.

4. Gagan Dhillon is very correct- that it should be upto the lady, and we should all abide by her wishes.

Regrettably her wishes were not taken into account, in ‘Sanatan Dharmic’ Hindu society.

In the Hindu customs either she was burnt to death, or tonsured, i.e. head shaved off, ostracized and cast out of the house, sent off to Brindban, etc to a life of exploitation and misery.

Given a choice between re marriage, and consequential happiness, or not, is a simple choice. Most people will take remarriage, and the option of conjugal bliss.

The option has to be that of the lady, but it not the place of a just society to deny her that option.

As Hindu society opens up more and more, and starts to follow the traditions the Jats have followed for thousands of years, we will see a more egalitarian society evolve.


Ravi Chaudhary
 
Narendar, It is not a good idea to talk about a third person, if he has any question he could ask it directly and I would be more than happy to answer it. q meri image kharab karwaan ke peeche pad gaye ho yar..;) fir bhee mai aapke question ka jawab dene kee koshih karta hoon. and It is based on my knowledge of Satyarth Prakash and my personal views may be different from it.

1. What Mr. Ravi said, gives the impression that Dayanand was against stri jati. and he(Ravi) used the word child producing machine. Which in this context is wrong. Mr. Ravi did not give the complete information. and the complete information is that Niyog is for both men and women with out any discrimination of gender.

2. Swami's Idea was that sex is not for pleasure, it is only for reprodcution. and he did not think that sex is a bad thing. so this "one night thing" seem bad to those people who think sex is a bad.


Niyog is not being practiced by any body (including Jats) in modern time. But it was pracitced in old days. Dashrath ke charo putra niyog se paida hue the. panch pandav niyog se paida hue the.

narendarkharab said:
From your 2nd point about stayarth parkash it looks swami ji was not entirly in favour of widow remarriage,since you say that only if,can you put exact words what swami ji said about widow remarriage in different circumstances.

you are right, He was not entirly in favor of widow remarriage. this is allowed in special case only. he has said ki agar koi shadi hote hee vidhwa/vidhur ho jata/jati hai and they have not live togather, they can have a second marriage.

ab mera personal view , no system could be perfact. I have seen many cases where remarraige has turned into the worst nightmare for the women. Niyog ki apni visheshta hain and apni burai hai. same goes for the remarriage. It should be left to the individual what they prefer. maine jabardasti chadar dalwati hui dekhi hain. the widow did not want a second marriage but their family member forced them to marry either to a very old person or a very young. you can never give an option which is good for all. It just does not make sense to me when someone says this is the best solution. in my view there is no such thing as best option. It is always good have multiple option. jisko ko achcha lage woh kare, isse kisi dusre ko khujli nahi honi chahiye.

Narendar, I want to ask you something, please try to answer the following questions honestly(no offence please)

Haryana (known as the jat state) has a female/male ratio of 850/1000. It is the worst in the world. even the muslim are better than us. They are killing girls even before they are born. How does this justify your statement saying jat respect women?
 
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