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tHE aGe fAcToR !
- Thread starter dagar25
- Start date
urmiladuhan
New member
Urmila( you prefer to be called by ur name) you should delete the word JEE after my name as you must be very senior to me. Senior's merit is in the experience of life they have had. The ongoing thread is regarding revealing your age.
So I ask straight forward to every member whether they would like to reveal their age in their brief profile(member card)?
kirpya thread ko khmkha mat kheecho....inghan unghan ki baat kar ke topic ne change mat karo.
Is that what you prefer me to address you as (without the jee)?
urmiladuhan
New member
You are right Rajnish ji but you may sometime agree that we all behave differently with different people according to various factors such as our relationship, post/position/rank, age/peer group, gender, economic/social status, physical appearance/ability, behavioral pattern, intellectualism/knowledge, residential/operational zone and may be more. To know everything about a person on this virtual forum seems difficult but in case some of the above criterion are known to us our addressing to each other will definitely improve and I think that makes the difference.Secondly, respect works on Newtons third law of motion.Give respect & take it back (some time with interest). What i have experienced that even in our offices/workplaces we address senior/older people by adding JI to their name even though they may be our subordinates/sahayaks and that enhances interpersonal relationship & improves working environment.
So the age seniority is a very significant criteria to decide initial addressing. Further in case a senior/aged person does not behave according to his age/seniority then he needs to be held responsible for unpleasant consequences if any. In my opinion the above applies here and everywhere. The idea is to exchange/share our knowledge/experience/culture in respectable, humorous and harmonious atmosphere.
With Thanks.
JS
Rana jee, there are some older people who "demand" that they be shown respect. It is such people that I have problem with.
urmiladuhan
New member
Elders ought to be respected irrespective of their merits. Their biggest merit is in the experience of life they have. .
The merit lies in what (if at all) one has learnt from the experience one has had. If there is no learning, there is no merit.
Rana jee, there are some older people who "demand" that they be shown respect. It is such people that I have problem with.
jiski aap baat karr rahi hain... wo mujhe dev dahiya ka hi avtaar lagta hai...the way he writes with mixed emotions of politeness, respect, frustration, anger, being sarcastic, giving un called advices... sab ek hi post me .. itne sare rang....haha
R
rajneeshantil
Guest
Agreed heartily urmila ji, respect flows from the heart. it is not a commodity which may be DEMANDED. just do such act or show some good thinking and receive it. Respect cannot be borrowed, demanded or attain by undue influence. aaj tak koi insaan paida nahi hua jisne lathi ke dum pe respect pai ho.
@ u d
A senior member should not use JEE while talking to Juniors and so I prefer my senior calls me by name only. its my personal opinion it is not necessary that other person also think like that.....Is that what you prefer me to address you as (without the jee)?
@ ud
if one has some experience......one must have learnt something.....The merit lies in what (if at all) one has learnt from the experience one has had. If there is no learning, there is no merit.
Rana jee, there are some older people who "demand" that they be shown respect. It is such people that I have problem with.
Urmila Ji, Kindly note that we are discussing for all the members (in general) here and not for some selective personnel.Secondly I am not recommending bindings for any one.
With Thanks.
urmiladuhan
New member
if one has some experience......one must have learnt something.....
It is an assumption. Practically things are quite different.
One of the historians (Shri JS Joon, K.R. Qanungo or Thakur Deshraj) has mentioned in his book;
“All Jats, irrespective of their official or financial positions in life, have equal social status. The only criterion of superiority is age. If two Jats sit on a bed the elder, even if he is a poor farmer will sit towards the head of the bed, and the younger, even if he is a very well to do, or is a senior civil or military officer, will sit towards the foot of the bed. If a number of Jats are sharing the same 'hooka' it is the duty of the youngest to hold the 'hooka' and pass it around in turn to the others”.
http://www.jatland.com/home/Life,_culture_and_traditions_of_Jat_people
“All Jats, irrespective of their official or financial positions in life, have equal social status. The only criterion of superiority is age. If two Jats sit on a bed the elder, even if he is a poor farmer will sit towards the head of the bed, and the younger, even if he is a very well to do, or is a senior civil or military officer, will sit towards the foot of the bed. If a number of Jats are sharing the same 'hooka' it is the duty of the youngest to hold the 'hooka' and pass it around in turn to the others”.
http://www.jatland.com/home/Life,_culture_and_traditions_of_Jat_people
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urmiladuhan
New member
One of the historians (Shri JS Joon, K.R. Qanungo or Thakur Deshraj) has mentioned in his book;
“All Jats, irrespective of their official or financial positions in life, have equal social status. The only criterion of superiority is age. If two Jats sit on a bed the elder, even if he is a poor farmer will sit towards the head of the bed, and the younger, even if he is a very well to do, or is a senior civil or military officer, will sit towards the foot of the bed. If a number of Jats are sharing the same 'hooka' it is the duty of the youngest to hold the 'hooka' and pass it around in turn to the others”.
http://www.jatland.com/home/Life,_culture_and_traditions_of_Jat_people
This is what I do when I first meet an elderly - give respect. But if upon further interaction with the person senior to me in age, I find that the person is less meritorious (in my humble opinion) than me, YET expects/demands from me to be subservient to him/her - that is when the problem arises and I refuse to comply to this force from the person senior in age.
Perhaps the problem is also in my this type of attitude.
One of the historians (Shri JS Joon, K.R. Qanungo or Thakur Deshraj) has mentioned in his book;
“All Jats, irrespective of their official or financial positions in life, have equal social status. The only criterion of superiority is age. If two Jats sit on a bed the elder, even if he is a poor farmer will sit towards the head of the bed, and the younger, even if he is a very well to do, or is a senior civil or military officer, will sit towards the foot of the bed. If a number of Jats are sharing the same 'hooka' it is the duty of the youngest to hold the 'hooka' and pass it around in turn to the others”.
http://www.jatland.com/home/Life,_culture_and_traditions_of_Jat_people
भाई कांटे की बात कह दी Krishan जी | हाम ने भी योहे देखा स |
urmiladuhan
New member
One of the historians (Shri JS Joon, K.R. Qanungo or Thakur Deshraj) has mentioned in his book;
“All Jats, irrespective of their official or financial positions in life, have equal social status. The only criterion of superiority is age. If two Jats sit on a bed the elder, even if he is a poor farmer will sit towards the head of the bed, and the younger, even if he is a very well to do, or is a senior civil or military officer, will sit towards the foot of the bed. If a number of Jats are sharing the same 'hooka' it is the duty of the youngest to hold the 'hooka' and pass it around in turn to the others”.
http://www.jatland.com/home/Life,_culture_and_traditions_of_Jat_people
What is written above simply states the "Duty"/Protocol.
Doing something as part of duty i.e., where to sit, to whom to pass the hooka etc., does not necessarily translate into respect for a senior (in age) member. All these customs can be followed by the juniors yet having no genuine love and respect for the senior, (if that is how a junior feels about his/her senior). Respect comes from the heart - that no one can demand.
rakeshsehrawat
New member
What is written above simply states the "Duty"/Protocol.
Doing something as part of duty i.e., where to sit, to whom to pass the hooka etc., does not necessarily translate into respect for a senior (in age) member. All these customs can be followed by the juniors yet having no genuine love and respect for the senior, (if that is how a junior feels about his/her senior). Respect comes from the heart - that no one can demand.
Following customes makes army work otherwise whole country would have been on knees.
Words like "From Deep Core Of Heart" looks beautiful on cards and books in reality this is fear only which is given name of respect. Shape of fear can be different but at the end it is fear and discipline only.
urmiladuhan
New member
Following customes makes army work otherwise whole country would have been on knees.
Words like "From Deep Core Of Heart" looks beautiful on cards and books in reality this is fear only which is given name of respect. Shape of fear can be different but at the end it is fear and discipline only.
I am not against following duty/protocol - in fact that are at the core of my being.
But genuine feelings such as in respect, in love, in friendship are a rare commodity and they can only be shared/given if it comes from the heart.
I think, from all of this discussion above, it is clear that there are 2 types of respect : showing genuine respect and 2. showing respect for the sake of duty/protocol. Genuine respect cannot be demanded - it has to be earned.
urmiladuhan
New member
ikdum practical baat kah di bhai ne baki sab '''Highly educated but not socially literate"" logo ki baate hai...........
Societal rules/customs are different in different societies/groups. By society you probably mean the rural Jat society. I have already mentioned that I grew up/got educated in a cosmopolitan and also in foreign country. I have plenty of good experiences in societies other than rural Jat society - but had some trouble in the past fitting into the rural Jat culture, a culture that I am trying to understand.
Kindly state your social literacy score i.e., How many different societies have you successfully become part of?
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@all JLers
Thread is deviating from main topic.....I should interfere now... just put your remarks whether age should be shown or not....my dear members.....you should first tell whether you support my idea or not and then give your philosophical dose, evidences,instances or anything else in support of your views.The thread would not lead to any conclusion unless you give your opinion on the main point. Till now only two Members have giventheir open support.........Should I assume that others are not in favour of inclusion of age in brief profile. ( it is in respect of onlythose members who are willingly showing their age on their profile page.....and not about those who dont even want to disclose their age at all, so dont misunderstand that i am talking about all.)
Thread is deviating from main topic.....I should interfere now... just put your remarks whether age should be shown or not....my dear members.....you should first tell whether you support my idea or not and then give your philosophical dose, evidences,instances or anything else in support of your views.The thread would not lead to any conclusion unless you give your opinion on the main point. Till now only two Members have giventheir open support.........Should I assume that others are not in favour of inclusion of age in brief profile. ( it is in respect of onlythose members who are willingly showing their age on their profile page.....and not about those who dont even want to disclose their age at all, so dont misunderstand that i am talking about all.)
Societal rules/customs are different in different societies/groups. By society you probably mean the rural Jat society. I have already mentioned that I grew up/got educated in a cosmopolitan and also in foreign country. I have plenty of good experiences in societies other than rural Jat society - but had some trouble in the past fitting into the rural Jat culture, a culture that I am trying to understand.
Kindly state your social literacy score i.e., How many different societies have you successfully become part of?
Urmila ji,,,,, I strictly not meant 'Rural Jat Society.... I mean weather you are from cosmopolitan, foreign or any Goan-Dehat, you will find basics are same,,,,,
In short-Rules and customs are only which run successfully any society or group...(**Emotions works effectively only in CLOSE Relations**--I Believe).