raj_rathee
New member
I think the commonality of culture, language,
religion, social and economic background is a good practical argument
for marrying within the caste/community. I think it is best to find
a partner with a similar background.
At the same time, when one falls in love, nothing else is really
going to make sense. Yaa bimari cheez hi aise hai. It's probably
best to just go with your feelings. And if the couple doesn't have to
live in close association with the traditional community, then
it should be quite manageable. So, for modern day, educated professionals,
it won't be too big a deal. Of course, in some cases, even when living thousands
of miles from your home, it is often the case that your social circle
is primarily built of members of your community...in which case, differences
in languages, attitudes, even food habits, can result in difficulty in
really fitting in for the "outside" spouse. We do see that quite a bit.
But love must surely weigh heavier than these considerations.
Personally, I do not think that young people of marriageable age
are really mature enough to know and understand love. For that matter, I
think its a hard thing to understand and figure out at any age, let alone
your 20s. But try telling that to lovesick individuals! You just can't win
against pulsating hearts.
Having said all that I think all these arguments for or against intercaste
marriage are secondary and tertiary arguments. The primary issue is way more
basic, and lies in the deep primal instincts to safeguard our resources.
Women are a resource. Not a whole lot different from land, water,
and, yes Priti, even cattle. Its not hip and sexy to say that, but if you
dig deep enough, that is what it is all about.
We men have waged battles and fought wars for perhaps hundreds and thousands
of years over resources. The victors have taken the women of the losers
and made them their own. We'd kill the men, but take back the women.
This sort of behaviour is also prevalent in the animal kingdom.
Yes, modern day life isn't medieval battlegrounds, but the basic
human instinct is deeply embedded. Deep down inside, we men can't bear the
thought of our own women being taken by an "outsider". It hurts.
At the same time, when our men bring in an "outsider" (especially when that
outsider is considered a "catch"), it can actually be seen as "cool".
Jib ko desan kisse gore gailan dikhe sae, tae by god ji sa jale sae. "What
a bit*h" is the voice inside. Lekin jib ko desi kisse gori gailan ho sae tae
its "beta pure thaath ley ra sae"!
Hypocritical? You bet! Welcome to the real world. That's just the way
our biology works. And its universal. The so called modern and western societies
are no different. Under the very thin veneer of liberal and open society lies
the same primal reflexes.
So if anyone thinks that we can overcome our attitudes over inter-caste,
inter-religious, inter-race marriages anytime soon, well...wishful thinking.
Our associations determine the resources which we see as ours.
As long as we associate with a caste, inter-caste marriages will be an issue.
As long as we associate with a religion, inter-religion marriages will be
an issue. As for race, well good luck getting over that.
So, lesson of the day? Go with what you feel is good for you. Forget
about changing the rest of the world. It ain't changing anytime soon.
And finally, for all the wonderful Jatnis who take exception
at being called a resource, or who feel strangulated by the
clanish attitude of their counterparts:
Ji, yoh saara rolla thaari baabbut eh tae sae. Thaare bina mahara
jina ki kaam ka: key nahana, key dhaadi banana, key Jat hoven ki
pipni bajana. Thare-eh tae mahara jeen ka maqsad poora ho sae. Thari
baabut tae hum dafter mein baith, saare kaam chod ke thaare tae mithi-2
baat karan sae. Apney dostan nae chod ke thari gailan bogus "family picture"
dekhan tahin tayar rhe sain.
Eeb itna hoye paache bhi tam humne chod ke bhala kyukar kite ja sako so.
Hai na Ji?
Toh yahan mollud Jaton ki baaton ka bura nahin maann-na. Yoh saara
rolla thaari baabut eh sae.
religion, social and economic background is a good practical argument
for marrying within the caste/community. I think it is best to find
a partner with a similar background.
At the same time, when one falls in love, nothing else is really
going to make sense. Yaa bimari cheez hi aise hai. It's probably
best to just go with your feelings. And if the couple doesn't have to
live in close association with the traditional community, then
it should be quite manageable. So, for modern day, educated professionals,
it won't be too big a deal. Of course, in some cases, even when living thousands
of miles from your home, it is often the case that your social circle
is primarily built of members of your community...in which case, differences
in languages, attitudes, even food habits, can result in difficulty in
really fitting in for the "outside" spouse. We do see that quite a bit.
But love must surely weigh heavier than these considerations.
Personally, I do not think that young people of marriageable age
are really mature enough to know and understand love. For that matter, I
think its a hard thing to understand and figure out at any age, let alone
your 20s. But try telling that to lovesick individuals! You just can't win
against pulsating hearts.
Having said all that I think all these arguments for or against intercaste
marriage are secondary and tertiary arguments. The primary issue is way more
basic, and lies in the deep primal instincts to safeguard our resources.
Women are a resource. Not a whole lot different from land, water,
and, yes Priti, even cattle. Its not hip and sexy to say that, but if you
dig deep enough, that is what it is all about.
We men have waged battles and fought wars for perhaps hundreds and thousands
of years over resources. The victors have taken the women of the losers
and made them their own. We'd kill the men, but take back the women.
This sort of behaviour is also prevalent in the animal kingdom.
Yes, modern day life isn't medieval battlegrounds, but the basic
human instinct is deeply embedded. Deep down inside, we men can't bear the
thought of our own women being taken by an "outsider". It hurts.
At the same time, when our men bring in an "outsider" (especially when that
outsider is considered a "catch"), it can actually be seen as "cool".
Jib ko desan kisse gore gailan dikhe sae, tae by god ji sa jale sae. "What
a bit*h" is the voice inside. Lekin jib ko desi kisse gori gailan ho sae tae
its "beta pure thaath ley ra sae"!
Hypocritical? You bet! Welcome to the real world. That's just the way
our biology works. And its universal. The so called modern and western societies
are no different. Under the very thin veneer of liberal and open society lies
the same primal reflexes.
So if anyone thinks that we can overcome our attitudes over inter-caste,
inter-religious, inter-race marriages anytime soon, well...wishful thinking.
Our associations determine the resources which we see as ours.
As long as we associate with a caste, inter-caste marriages will be an issue.
As long as we associate with a religion, inter-religion marriages will be
an issue. As for race, well good luck getting over that.
So, lesson of the day? Go with what you feel is good for you. Forget
about changing the rest of the world. It ain't changing anytime soon.
And finally, for all the wonderful Jatnis who take exception
at being called a resource, or who feel strangulated by the
clanish attitude of their counterparts:
Ji, yoh saara rolla thaari baabbut eh tae sae. Thaare bina mahara
jina ki kaam ka: key nahana, key dhaadi banana, key Jat hoven ki
pipni bajana. Thare-eh tae mahara jeen ka maqsad poora ho sae. Thari
baabut tae hum dafter mein baith, saare kaam chod ke thaare tae mithi-2
baat karan sae. Apney dostan nae chod ke thari gailan bogus "family picture"
dekhan tahin tayar rhe sain.
Eeb itna hoye paache bhi tam humne chod ke bhala kyukar kite ja sako so.
Hai na Ji?
Toh yahan mollud Jaton ki baaton ka bura nahin maann-na. Yoh saara
rolla thaari baabut eh sae.
, incorrect.
