Dear All,
This is a very apt topic and needs serious discussion. Violence against the weaker sex is a reality and happens across the board in urban and rural societies. Who can forget the public bashing of the then cine star Zeenat Aman by Sanjay Khan and that too in the lobby of Hotel TAJ in Mumbai!
Let us leave out the criminal part of violence against women because that is a worldwide phenomenon and not limited to this caste or that. We must focus only on domestic violence in JAT households. It is not a question of merely balancing between the views of women belonging to two generations in a household but a combination of factors; cultural mindset, perceived dominance of the male species, socio-economic conditions, proving that one is not henpecked, breaking up of joint family structure, perceived economic control or exploitation by the elders, taunts by the relatives, feeling of suffocation by some in a joint family and alcoholism.
JATS by nature are respectful towards women but find it difficult to portray the same in our daily chores. Some of the factors for domestic violence are:
1. The woman in a JAT household works harder than her male counter part, at least in Haryana, where they also work in the farmland. The ‘Man’ may only play cards and drink too, but he would dominate her like in all aspects. If there is resistance, violence is guaranteed.
2. Even in a city where both wife and husband work, a lady is expected to be perfect in household work too.
3. We give too much importance to relatives. We will declare curfew in the house the minute a ‘Bataeu’, ‘Mamma’ or ‘Phoopha’ arrives. We go overboard and try to put on an act in which the women suffer. It has been seen that the relatives who arrive from the lady’s house don’t get the same respect. Well, if the lady has come with hefty dowry the story is entirely different!
4. God save the wife who is more educated than the husband in a joint family. His ego would manifest and find release, one day or the other, in domestic violence.
5. Women hardly have a say when it comes to deciding the future of ancestral property or such like financial matters.
6. In households where there is a common kitchen, differences are automatic and violence a derivative. Punjabis will have two rooms and three kitchens!
7. There is a growing trend of families shifting to cities for education and other facilities. However, it is often seen that the areas in which they settle are worse than the village they had left (lack of basic amenities because of non existence municipal facilities) behind. The Ghetto type of living invites competing social pressures on these rural folk and it leads to dissatisfaction and violence.
8. The neglect of the ‘Girl Child’ continues despite the various schemes of the government.
I am sure members will come out with remedies to these ills.
Best regards,
JS Malik
PS: Thanks to all members for wishing me Happy Birthday earlier. Sorry, I couldn't reply immediately. God Speed to you all...
This is a very apt topic and needs serious discussion. Violence against the weaker sex is a reality and happens across the board in urban and rural societies. Who can forget the public bashing of the then cine star Zeenat Aman by Sanjay Khan and that too in the lobby of Hotel TAJ in Mumbai!
Let us leave out the criminal part of violence against women because that is a worldwide phenomenon and not limited to this caste or that. We must focus only on domestic violence in JAT households. It is not a question of merely balancing between the views of women belonging to two generations in a household but a combination of factors; cultural mindset, perceived dominance of the male species, socio-economic conditions, proving that one is not henpecked, breaking up of joint family structure, perceived economic control or exploitation by the elders, taunts by the relatives, feeling of suffocation by some in a joint family and alcoholism.
JATS by nature are respectful towards women but find it difficult to portray the same in our daily chores. Some of the factors for domestic violence are:
1. The woman in a JAT household works harder than her male counter part, at least in Haryana, where they also work in the farmland. The ‘Man’ may only play cards and drink too, but he would dominate her like in all aspects. If there is resistance, violence is guaranteed.
2. Even in a city where both wife and husband work, a lady is expected to be perfect in household work too.
3. We give too much importance to relatives. We will declare curfew in the house the minute a ‘Bataeu’, ‘Mamma’ or ‘Phoopha’ arrives. We go overboard and try to put on an act in which the women suffer. It has been seen that the relatives who arrive from the lady’s house don’t get the same respect. Well, if the lady has come with hefty dowry the story is entirely different!
4. God save the wife who is more educated than the husband in a joint family. His ego would manifest and find release, one day or the other, in domestic violence.
5. Women hardly have a say when it comes to deciding the future of ancestral property or such like financial matters.
6. In households where there is a common kitchen, differences are automatic and violence a derivative. Punjabis will have two rooms and three kitchens!
7. There is a growing trend of families shifting to cities for education and other facilities. However, it is often seen that the areas in which they settle are worse than the village they had left (lack of basic amenities because of non existence municipal facilities) behind. The Ghetto type of living invites competing social pressures on these rural folk and it leads to dissatisfaction and violence.
8. The neglect of the ‘Girl Child’ continues despite the various schemes of the government.
I am sure members will come out with remedies to these ills.
Best regards,
JS Malik
PS: Thanks to all members for wishing me Happy Birthday earlier. Sorry, I couldn't reply immediately. God Speed to you all...
Last edited:
