~ FaCeS of ReLaTiOnShIpS ~

[plsehrawat]

but i feel that jats are equally ignorant of both. rather, more to say, more, ignorant of first, i.e. physical one. gamma mme jab ladd ke chalen se, bimar ne jub kati us ka jee likadne wala howe se. aur shahr tayeen aate aate aa dum tod dewe sse.

 

[cooljat]

OFFTOPIC!!

but i feel that jats are equally ignorant of both. rather, more to say, more, ignorant of first, i.e. physical one. gamma mme jab ladd ke chalen se, bimar ne jub kati us ka jee likadne wala howe se. aur shahr tayeen aate aate aa dum tod dewe sse.

 

[maniisha]

In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

This is a foundation of any relationship, not just intersexual ones, but family, business, etc. relationships as well. It is a dynamic that is always in effect.This principle isn't so much about 'power' as it is about control.
Later.

Yep Sam very True .. Straight to the point ..
As per my view mutual understanding and admiration are two important building blocks of any relationship. The relationship can only survive when one partner takes lead over the other in case one gets carried away by situations. Every relationship passes through periods of rough patch when conflicts of ideas arises.As the time passes due to unnecessary ego's and misunderstandings add fuel to fire. So its important to maintain the sanctity of such relationships by being true to each other.
Transparency, Truthfulness , Trust are three T's that goes towards strengthening a relationship....

 

[anilsinghd]

Yep Sam very True .. Straight to the point ..
As per my view mutual understanding and admiration are two important building blocks of any relationship. The relationship can only survive when one partner takes lead over the other in case one gets carried away by situations. Every relationship passes through periods of rough patch when conflicts of ideas arises.As the time passes due to unnecessary ego's and misunderstandings add fuel to fire. So its important to maintain the sanctity of such relationships by being true to each other.
Transparency, Truthfulness , Trust are three T's that goes towards strengthening a relationship....

dhanya ho gaya mod sahiba aapse gyaan paakar !!!

 

[mamtadg]

hi

A bit complex one.
only one thing to say on relationship and life .
Everything in life comes with an expire date

 

[deepakchoudhry]

We fall in love with people's personalities and get disillusioned after a while.
And sometimes never expand our love to others...along those lines I have written this poem.

shakisyat hoti hai kamzor,shakisyat say na pyar karo

yeh prem ki ganga bhitar hai behti, Iska tum kabhi toh dhayan karo
shakisyat hoti hai kamzor,shakisyat say na pyar karo

Mann ki sunatay ho, jo hai swaarthi, chao toh ban sakte ho paramarthi
mann ki is vayatha ka, nirthark malay gaan na karo,
shakisyat hoti hai kamzor, shakisyat say na pyar karo

Beh janay doh yeh ganga, Bhuja doh jag ki aag
Nafrat ka Junoon failakar funn, baitha hai aaj
Apnay is prem ka, kuch toh vistaar karo
shakisyat hoti hai kamzor, shakisyat say na pyar karo

Dhalta hua suraj, Balak ki muskaan
Kya Indradhunush nay, mangaa hai kabhi hisab
Din raat tum apany prem ka, nirbhay ho kar daan karo
shakisyat hoti hai kamzor, shakisyat say na pyar karo

 

[shweta123]

We fall in love with people's personalities and get disillusioned after a while.
And sometimes never expand our love to others...along those lines I have written this poem.

shakisyat hoti hai kamzor,shakisyat say na pyar karo

yeh prem ki ganga bhitar hai behti, Iska tum kabhi toh dhayan karo
shakisyat hoti hai kamzor,shakisyat say na pyar karo

Mann ki sunatay ho, jo hai swaarthi, chao toh ban sakte ho paramarthi
mann ki is vayatha ka, nirthark malay gaan na karo,
shakisyat hoti hai kamzor, shakisyat say na pyar karo

Beh janay doh yeh ganga, Bhuja doh jag ki aag
Nafrat ka Junoon failakar funn, baitha hai aaj
Apnay is prem ka, kuch toh vistaar karo
shakisyat hoti hai kamzor, shakisyat say na pyar karo

Dhalta hua suraj, Balak ki muskaan
Kya Indradhunush nay, mangaa hai kabhi hisab
Din raat tum apany prem ka, nirbhay ho kar daan karo
shakisyat hoti hai kamzor, shakisyat say na pyar karo

Very nice

 

[deepakchoudhry]

Upanishads say that we don't actually love the other but we love ourselves through others, be it our spouse, kids or anyone.

In other words we project our image on others and fall in love with that image.

Two empty, disillusioned and needy individuals form a relationship hoping for love from each other.

How can one beggar help another beggar, it is simply not possible.

 

[shweta123]

Upanishads say that we don't actually love the other but we love ourselves through others, be it our spouse, kids or anyone.

In other words we project our image on others and fall in love with that image.

Two empty, disillusioned and needy individuals form a relationship hoping for love from each other.

How can one beggar help another beggar, it is simply not possible.

A newer approach but a true one I think ! We want to get loved and somewhere deep within we want to love someone to get ourselves loved in his way of loving !!

 

[vijay]

Everything in life comes with an expire date

What about Predated expiry ?

 

[vijay]

In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

Agree..... Powerful person take everything for granted becoz he/she knows that sooner or later others wud come back.

But POWER changes sides with time and so does the relationship ... complex ....... isn't it ?

This is a foundation of any relationship, not just intersexual ones, but family, business, etc. relationships as well. It is a dynamic that is always in effect.This principle isn't so much about 'power' as it is about control.
Later.

Every PARTY in a relationship want to control it by his/her own way rather than following the basic rule of understanding and adjustments ..... and that's the real problem.

Realtionship always flourish where the control word is replaced with co-operation.

 

[anilsinghd]

Read all ( most to be precise ) the posts.

to be true to all of you and myself , i dont have an opinion on this ! Infact , my belief is that the myriads of human feelings and emotions is too complex to have an opinion. Scenario based analysis is more apt i beleive.

Samar mentioned that is is the power , the Strongest needs the weak the least. Somewhere it was said that the ego is the root of problems.
Now if ego is a variable to be used in analysis , then we must conclude that strong would never leave the weak ( because this event will inherently tell him that he failed in his / her relationship ; PS : I am not analysing weaker souls who dont have enough self esteem to feel such things ) .

Dont know about you , but i am confused.


Considering the scenario put forward by Shweta and some of the propsed solutions , do we seriously believe that a " Professional " help would actually help ? In the course of the treatment , it can further increase the problem because : the person himslef , the wife , the family : all are now made to believe that there is a problem and everyone is skeptical and chaos will follow. ( more often than not , simple solutions will be stripped off their effectiveness and the complex methods of a psycho treatment will only damage ). The important thing is this one must consider the patience level of the involved before before even thinking on these lines.

Another humanitarian consideration is of the people involved who are not a party to the cause at all. Think of the poor wife who has done nothing wrong and have had always dreamt of a loving and caring husband. The sacred institutions of marriage have forced upon her to live in misery and remind herself daily that she is living in misery. The bonds are too hard for her to break and instead of supporting her to free herself , the society pushes back with all the force they do.
Result : A disinterested life !!

I am forced to not believe in the sanctity of all the insitutions we have put into practice. And it does not end here.

There will be a time when the husband will bounce back ( the law of averages will prevail ) but he will not have time on his hand. The wife would have either comitted suicide by this time , would have ventured into unwillingly relations Or would have been too disinterested even to continue living or even thinking of a possibility of living again happily.
More than that , her ego will not allow her to be happy with the husband again. And there goes the final opportunity !!!


I will not end without proposing what i feel best.

Most of you would have seen the movie : Life in a metro ! for those who have not seen and are contributing to the topic , i would suggest its a must watch.

I like the movie, i was moved by the movie infact. But i hated the end which Shilpa got , and infact if someone happened to watch it closely , the touch of her husband was even not confortable to her ( even after the compromise ). I dont find that life worth living.

 

[shweta123]

Read all ( most to be precise ) the posts.

to be true to all of you and myself , i dont have an opinion on this ! Infact , my belief is that the myriads of human feelings and emotions is too complex to have an opinion. Scenario based analysis is more apt i beleive.

Samar mentioned that is is the power , the Strongest needs the weak the least. Somewhere it was said that the ego is the root of problems.
Now if ego is a variable to be used in analysis , then we must conclude that strong would never leave the weak ( because this event will inherently tell him that he failed in his / her relationship ; PS : I am not analysing weaker souls who dont have enough self esteem to feel such things ) .

Dont know about you , but i am confused.


Considering the scenario put forward by Shweta and some of the propsed solutions , do we seriously believe that a " Professional " help would actually help ? In the course of the treatment , it can further increase the problem because : the person himslef , the wife , the family : all are now made to believe that there is a problem and everyone is skeptical and chaos will follow. ( more often than not , simple solutions will be stripped off their effectiveness and the complex methods of a psycho treatment will only damage ). The important thing is this one must consider the patience level of the involved before before even thinking on these lines.

Another humanitarian consideration is of the people involved who are not a party to the cause at all. Think of the poor wife who has done nothing wrong and have had always dreamt of a loving and caring husband. The sacred institutions of marriage have forced upon her to live in misery and remind herself daily that she is living in misery. The bonds are too hard for her to break and instead of supporting her to free herself , the society pushes back with all the force they do.
Result : A disinterested life !!

I am forced to not believe in the sanctity of all the insitutions we have put into practice. And it does not end here.

There will be a time when the husband will bounce back ( the law of averages will prevail ) but he will not have time on his hand. The wife would have either comitted suicide by this time , would have ventured into unwillingly relations Or would have been too disinterested even to continue living or even thinking of a possibility of living again happily.
More than that , her ego will not allow her to be happy with the husband again. And there goes the final opportunity !!!


I will not end without proposing what i feel best.

Most of you would have seen the movie : Life in a metro ! for those who have not seen and are contributing to the topic , i would suggest its a must watch.

I like the movie, i was moved by the movie infact. But i hated the end which Shilpa got , and infact if someone happened to watch it closely , the touch of her husband was even not confortable to her ( even after the compromise ). I dont find that life worth living.

And I was also wedged by an analogous feeling that solution to this problem is not that easy. Professional help seeking for the whole family or any individual requires a feeling of being at ease and their being geared up to put an honest insight into the roots of the problem, but this is as tough a nut to crack as it seems to be effortless when it comes to practical lives ! but when things turn so sad and sour, people often get adamant. They lose interest to be precise ! they catch hold of other activities or sink into other relations in order to drive the basic pleasure which is indispensable for a human being to restrain himself from for a long time, not all can be so patient, understanding and determined to bring back that lost spark !

 

[shashiverma]

एक वक्त लगता था ज़िंदगी की खुब्सुर्ती होते हैं रीशते . पहचान, प्यार और विश्वास निभाते है रीशते . कभी सँभालते, कभी मुस्कुराते, कभी औंसू पौंछ्ते, कभी हौसला देते, कभी मुश्कीलो से जुझते, कभी रुठ्ते, कभी मनाते .........हर पल ज़िंदगी जीते रीशते.
हाँ, ऐसी ही तो होते थे रीश्ते .....
फींर क्यों आज परीभाषा बदले दीखते हैं ये रीशते.

ज़िंदगी की ज़्रुरत से लगते है अब ये रीशते. न नीभ्ते फींर भी लोगो से बंधे ये रीशते . कही मज्बुरी का नाम धरे, कही ख़ुद मज्बुर होते रीशते . कही खोखली नीव पर रखे, कही सोच की नीव पर रखे खोखलापन नीभाते रीशते. साथ चलने को लोग रीशते जोड़ते हैं, फींर भी क्यों दूर भागते हैं ये रीशते. लोग वीश्वास भी करते हैं, प्यार भी करते हैं.......फींर भी क्यों नहीं जीते हैं ये रीशते. जाने कीस आधार पर रखे, कीस आधार पर बीखरते हैं ये रीशते.

मैं सुन्दरता ढूँढ रही थी रीशतो में, जीतना जाना पास जाकर .....लगा हर पहचान पर दम तोडते ये रीशते. मुखुटो के पीछे से साँस लेने की जगह ढूँढ्ते ये रीशते. अब तो लगते सिर्फ़ बैसाखी से है ये रीशते.....थमा हाथ ज़रूरतों ने, मजबूरी सा नाम धरा.....साथ का भ्रम पाले....अकेलेपन में घुटते...आज़ादी ढूँढ्ते ये रीशते. ज़िंदगी का गर आधार होते है रीशते तो क्यों इतने बदसूरत से देखते हैं ये रीशते. सरल सी ज़िंदगी में क्यों उल्झते उल्झाते रीशते. क्यों नहीं अब जीते हैं ये रीशते. क्यों हर पल फींर भी बनते और बीगड़ते हैं रीशते.
कल लगते थे जीने की ताकत, ज़िंदगी की सुन्दरता होते हैं रीशते......अब लगते कीताबे बातो से ये रीशते, सीरफ कल्पनाओ में ही जीते हैं ये रीशते.

 

[poonam]

Human Relationships..

Well, the entire concept of Relationships (here I don’t necessarily mean couple, could be any kind of relationship, by birth or by choice) is nothing but one Real Time process. As you grow as a person, your viewpoint keeps changing; the picture keeps changing, for better I would say. The best teacher is life and by life I mean life lived by you so far which could never be the same for any two individuals. We have our lessons learnt with each passing day!

As they say there is no real fear, going with the same analogy…there is no real complete existence of a relationship in real time. Its all fluid and more or less the concept is the axis of everything else going on in our lives and the world per se actually. How one person relates to another…be it your spouse, kids, parents, friends, boss or colleagues is the central key point for whatever happens around us (of course, barring those natural phenomenon).

Only when you have lived your life (or may be a phase of it) and when u visualizes your life in retrospect then only you will be able to get the true real picture. Nothing in this world/life is real.
So, in a nutshell, it’s a sort of paradox, though human relationships are a real time process, it is happening to you but at the same time its not real actually. I know getting too philosophical now…so I better shut up…

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.........( well, that was not me but Oscar Wilde but I do agree with him here…)

 

[navingulia]

has anyone heard of "unconditional Love"
When we can love people for the sake of loving, because we want to love and not because we want to possess them dominate them r rule them, we wouldnot have pain.
When parents love their children, its fine but problem arises when they want to possess their children and every decision the children take. The parents are only extending their lives through the children, they dont want the children to have their own lives with its own 7joys and sorrows, mistakes and victories and failures.

When we love someone to dominate that person and his decisions and activities with our expectations, we are only trying to expand our own existence on others by snatching away theirs.

When i was a child I used to love catching a bird/sparrow and then patting and cuddling it, thinking i am giving it love whereas the bird was hell scared and frustrated and exhausted. As I grew up I learnt the joy of watching the bird in its free life and living its life, rather than making the bird live my life.

when we make other people live our lives we are restricting our growth. When we learn to live what other people live, feel and experience, we grow and evolve.

I say "meeting one more person is like leading one more life"

our love and our happiness shouldnot be bound with terms and conditions.

 

[jitendershooda]

Badhiya Thoughts

has anyone heard of "unconditional Love"
When we can love people for the sake of loving, because we want to love and not because we want to possess them dominate them r rule them, we wouldnot have pain.
When parents love their children, its fine but problem arises when they want to possess their children and every decision the children take. The parents are only extending their lives through the children, they dont want the children to have their own lives with its own 7joys and sorrows, mistakes and victories and failures.

When we love someone to dominate that person and his decisions and activities with our expectations, we are only trying to expand our own existence on others by snatching away theirs.

When i was a child I used to love catching a bird/sparrow and then patting and cuddling it, thinking i am giving it love whereas the bird was hell scared and frustrated and exhausted. As I grew up I learnt the joy of watching the bird in its free life and living its life, rather than making the bird live my life.

when we make other people live our lives we are restricting our growth. When we learn to live what other people live, feel and experience, we grow and evolve.

I say "meeting one more person is like leading one more life"

our love and our happiness shouldnot be bound with terms and conditions.

Badhiya Thoughts bhai saab.

 

[shweta123]

एक वक्त लगता था ज़िंदगी की खुब्सुर्ती होते हैं रीशते . पहचान, प्यार और विश्वास निभाते है रीशते . कभी सँभालते, कभी मुस्कुराते, कभी औंसू पौंछ्ते, कभी हौसला देते, कभी मुश्कीलो से जुझते, कभी रुठ्ते, कभी मनाते .........हर पल ज़िंदगी जीते रीशते.
हाँ, ऐसी ही तो होते थे रीश्ते .....
फींर क्यों आज परीभाषा बदले दीखते हैं ये रीशते.

ज़िंदगी की ज़्रुरत से लगते है अब ये रीशते. न नीभ्ते फींर भी लोगो से बंधे ये रीशते . कही मज्बुरी का नाम धरे, कही ख़ुद मज्बुर होते रीशते . कही खोखली नीव पर रखे, कही सोच की नीव पर रखे खोखलापन नीभाते रीशते. साथ चलने को लोग रीशते जोड़ते हैं, फींर भी क्यों दूर भागते हैं ये रीशते. लोग वीश्वास भी करते हैं, प्यार भी करते हैं.......फींर भी क्यों नहीं जीते हैं ये रीशते. जाने कीस आधार पर रखे, कीस आधार पर बीखरते हैं ये रीशते.

मैं सुन्दरता ढूँढ रही थी रीशतो में, जीतना जाना पास जाकर .....लगा हर पहचान पर दम तोडते ये रीशते. मुखुटो के पीछे से साँस लेने की जगह ढूँढ्ते ये रीशते. अब तो लगते सिर्फ़ बैसाखी से है ये रीशते.....थमा हाथ ज़रूरतों ने, मजबूरी सा नाम धरा.....साथ का भ्रम पाले....अकेलेपन में घुटते...आज़ादी ढूँढ्ते ये रीशते. ज़िंदगी का गर आधार होते है रीशते तो क्यों इतने बदसूरत से देखते हैं ये रीशते. सरल सी ज़िंदगी में क्यों उल्झते उल्झाते रीशते. क्यों नहीं अब जीते हैं ये रीशते. क्यों हर पल फींर भी बनते और बीगड़ते हैं रीशते.
कल लगते थे जीने की ताकत, ज़िंदगी की सुन्दरता होते हैं रीशते......अब लगते कीताबे बातो से ये रीशते, सीरफ कल्पनाओ में ही जीते हैं ये रीशते.

Very deep thoughts drentched in the water of sweet thoughts

Mai bhi kuch aisi hi lines likh rahi hu kabhi likhi thi maine ....



Kai dino se koi chehra nahi dekha
Mukhoto ke sheher me rehti hu main..........

Dikhti hain bas kuch dhoondli si lakeeren
Kabi kuch dikhaati kabhi kuch chupaati si

Rishto ke haath thaame khadi hai zindagi
Par unme hain kuch jhoot ki keele chubhi si

Aasmaan savere se khud ko bhigotaa to hai
Par us ujaale ki chamak bhi hai kuch feeki si

Kai dino se koi chehra nahi dekha
Mukhoto ke sheher me rehti hu main............

 

[shweta123]

has anyone heard of "unconditional Love"
When we can love people for the sake of loving, because we want to love and not because we want to possess them dominate them r rule them, we wouldnot have pain.
When parents love their children, its fine but problem arises when they want to possess their children and every decision the children take. The parents are only extending their lives through the children, they dont want the children to have their own lives with its own 7joys and sorrows, mistakes and victories and failures.

When we love someone to dominate that person and his decisions and activities with our expectations, we are only trying to expand our own existence on others by snatching away theirs.

When i was a child I used to love catching a bird/sparrow and then patting and cuddling it, thinking i am giving it love whereas the bird was hell scared and frustrated and exhausted. As I grew up I learnt the joy of watching the bird in its free life and living its life, rather than making the bird live my life.

when we make other people live our lives we are restricting our growth. When we learn to live what other people live, feel and experience, we grow and evolve.

I say "meeting one more person is like leading one more life"

our love and our happiness shouldnot be bound with terms and conditions.

Truly said

This is the way relationships should be, a constant endeavour to greet them with showers of love, and an undying zeal to love them without seeking anything in return ! And whats special about this concept is that if we love someone with this approach and wholesome goodness we end up being loved in return and this mutual love gives rise to a tree of happiness that gives shade in all adversities of life !

But as is said, most of the good things are tough to acquire and so is the case with this concept. It takes some time, an honest will, a dedicated heart and a loving soul to love someone unconditionally !

 

[shashiverma]

has anyone heard of "unconditional Love"
When we can love people for the sake of loving, because we want to love and not because we want to possess them dominate them r rule them, we wouldnot have pain.
When parents love their children, its fine but problem arises when they want to possess their children and every decision the children take. The parents are only extending their lives through the children, they dont want the children to have their own lives with its own 7joys and sorrows, mistakes and victories and failures.

When we love someone to dominate that person and his decisions and activities with our expectations, we are only trying to expand our own existence on others by snatching away theirs.

When i was a child I used to love catching a bird/sparrow and then patting and cuddling it, thinking i am giving it love whereas the bird was hell scared and frustrated and exhausted. As I grew up I learnt the joy of watching the bird in its free life and living its life, rather than making the bird live my life.

when we make other people live our lives we are restricting our growth. When we learn to live what other people live, feel and experience, we grow and evolve.

I say "meeting one more person is like leading one more life"

our love and our happiness shouldnot be bound with terms and conditions.

Thats very true Navin. And thats the only way the love is. Love do not live with any kind of conditions or expectations.
But the problem arises when we wrap it in relationships. Relationship do have expectations and they are not uncondiotional and simple like love.......atleast thats what I have seen around. That complicates the situation and looking at relationships in todays world I can only see suffocating and buried love. Anyways I am not an expert to comment on that. There is already lot discussed on this topic here. I better close it.