Share None Jat Jokes

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बेटा : स्कूल नहीं जाऊंगा ,
mom : क्यू?
बेटा : जॉब कर लूँगा ,
mom : 1st std पढ़ के क्या जॉब करेगा नालायक ?
बेटा : KG की लडकियोंको tution पढ़ाउंगा ​
 
Q. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE?
A. Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai… Doosri bigadti hai to ‘SHUROO’ ho jati hai​
 
Once a group of men went to tirth yatra. Their guru said dont get distracted if u see a beautiful sexy girl just close ur eyes n say 'HARI OM'. 2 days later one of them said 'HARI OM'..and every one's reaction was "kahan hai, kahan hai"....​
 
Kolaveri Di is to be banned becz of the Lyrics
'White skin girl,girl..Girl heart black!'
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Kapil Sibal says-'This is in-reference to
Sonia Gandhi....​
 
Bhikari:Hello,Pizza Hut?
Oprator:Yes.
Bhikari:6 Larg Pizas & 3 Pepsi.
Oprator: Kiske Nampe Dena Hain Sir ?
Bhikari:Allah Ke Naam Pe De De Baba.​
 
Sense of Responsibility :---
A Man goes into library and asks for a book on suicide...
Librarian looks him and says:...
Who will return the book back....??????????​
 
One day a teacher was talking about marriage in class...

Teacher : What kind of wife do you like Johnny?

Johnny : I want a wife like the moon..

Teacher : Wow! what a choice. Do you want her to be beautiful and calm
like the moon?

Johnny : No, I want her to come at night and disappear in the morning​
 
Awsum revenge by a Boy*-She broke my heart,.-i broke her apple iphone 4Gs.*Baaki aap khud hisaab laga lo ki kon ziyada roya hoga...​
 
Wife to Santa : "You don't love me at all"
Santa points towards their five children and says "Do you think I downloaded them from Google.
 
Beta: Papa meri teacher kitni mast hai na.
Father: Beta teacher maa ke baraber hoti hai.
Beta: Aap to hamesha apni hi khushi dekhte ho.
 
After the 2nd test match, Michael Clarke's mother called him and said: 'Beta, thoda Paani laa de... Tere kaaran subah se hichki aa rahi hain... Pura India yaad kar raha hai mujhe.....​
 
The difference between authority and power

A DEA (Dept. of External Affairs) officer stops at a ranch in Montana , and talks with an old

rancher. He tells the rancher, 'I need to inspect your ranch for
illegally grown drugs.'

The old rancher says: 'Okay, but do not go in that field over there'
as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the
authority of the Federal Government with me.' Reaching into his rear
pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the
farmer.

'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I
wish...on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made
myself clear? Do you understand?'

The old rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the
DEA officer running for his life chased close behind by the rancher's
prize bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer,
and it seems likely that he'll get "horned" before he reaches safety.

The officer is clearly terrified. The old rancher throws down his
tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....

'Your badge! Show him your badge!​
 
Judge: What's the proof that u were not over speeding?

Husband: My Lord, I was going to my in-laws place to bring my wife back.
Judge: Case dismissed.​
 
अच्छा हुआ किसी पार्टी का चुनाव चिन्ह सूर्य नही है,
यदि उसको भी ढकने का आदेश होता तो
दिन में भी अंधेरा हो जाता !!
 
तबीयत ठीक नहीं

अधेड़ उम्र की एक अमीर औरत हर सोमवार को डॉक्टर के पास चेकअप करवाने जाती थी। जांच पड़ताल के बाद डॉक्टर आमतौर पर कहता: 'आप बिल्कुल ठीक हैं।'

वह फीस देकर चली आती।

एक सोमवार को उसने डॉक्टर को फोन किया: 'डॉक्टर साहब, मैं आज नहीं आ पाऊंगी। मेरी तबीयत कुछ ठीक नहीं है...'
 
नई-नई शादी?

हवाई अड्डे पर एक युवक और युवती एक दूसरे के काफी निकट खड़े हो कर बात कर रहे थे। युवक और युवती के आंसू बह रहे थे। कुछ देर बाद सिक्युरिटी चेक की अनाउंसमेंट हुई। दोनों ने बाय बाय की और वह अंदर चली गई।

एक महिला यह नजारा देख रही थी। वह भी उसी विमान में जा रही थी। उसने युवती से पूछा: 'लगता है तुम्हारी नई-नई शादी हुई है, मायके जा रही हो क्या?'

' नहीं,' जवाब मिला, 'मैं पति के पास वापस जा रही हूं।'
 
JSRana said:
हवाई अड्डे पर एक युवक और युवती एक दूसरे के काफी निकट खड़े हो कर बात कर रहे थे। युवक और युवती के आंसू बह रहे थे। कुछ देर बाद सिक्युरिटी चेक की अनाउंसमेंट हुई। दोनों ने बाय बाय की और वह अंदर चली गई।

एक महिला यह नजारा देख रही थी। वह भी उसी विमान में जा रही थी। उसने युवती से पूछा: 'लगता है तुम्हारी नई-नई शादी हुई है, मायके जा रही हो क्या?'

' नहीं,' जवाब मिला, 'मैं पति के पास वापस जा रही हूं।'
Click to expand...

Rana sahab.. ye chutkula tha ya tragedy... :-O
 
ssgoyat said:
Rana sahab.. ye chutkula tha ya tragedy... :-O
Click to expand...

हा हा हा ...भाई सतिंदर त्रासदी (tragedy) और चुटकले में घना सा फरक ना होंदा, अर देखन त लाघ रे सं आजकाल खूब सारे ताग्याँ पे |
 
Sardar-Shirt k liye kapda dikhaiye
Salesman-plain me dikhau?
Sardar-nai, Helicopter me dikha kutte! Bandar ki aulad...Sardar dekha nahi, ki mazak udana shuru.​
 
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