Why do we shout in anger?

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rmandaura

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I came across a good explanation of why do we shout in anger:

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'
'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.
Finally he explained,

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'
Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'
The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

The Most Beautiful thing is to see a person smiling!!!
And Even More Beautiful is knowing that you are the reason behind it :)
 
Uncle ji very well said,,,,,,and you must have observed also that how calm and cool I look while communicating with JL members here and thats the reason i dont shout:rock


Rmandaura said:
MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

The Most Beautiful thing is to see a person smiling!!!
And Even More Beautiful is knowing that you are the reason behind it :)
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navdeepbudhwar said:
wow sir ji................u made ma dy...........

u hv explained a good n nic thaught................


bt cn u temme y do our brain becum blank during anger...........n y do v realize our mistake after getting normal??????????
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Our brain doesn't become blank during fists of anger but emotions generated by the anger overrides the other emotions. Whenever the state of anger subsides and neutralizes other emotions and senses start working in equilibrium again. Hence we behave normal.


PS : I would appreciate if you please try to write full words instead of this SMS language. It hardly takes few more seconds if you try to write the full words and that obviously make much more sense.
 
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good one....I mean posting is really effective as well as of gr8 use....baaki sachin bhai...u r the calmest guy in this world;)
sachinb said:
Uncle ji very well said,,,,,,and you must have observed also that how calm and cool I look while communicating with JL members here and thats the reason i dont shout:rock
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great inspiring words ! :)


something similar :



gaar angaar krodh jhal , ninda dhuaan hoye
in teeno ko parihare , saadhu kahave soye .. :)


[[ gaali-galoch angaar ke samaan hai , krodh aanch ke saman , par-ninda dhuen ke samaan , in teeno ko jo sarvtha tyaag de , wahi saadhu kehlaane laayak hai :) ]]
 
In My way the people who fight and get pissed off ,,,,,,They dont have a better job to do, it seems. I heard something like while fighting a pig you become dirty and the pig enjoys that .. same here.

The best way to compete a fool is to keep silence :D


Anyway our efforts for a genuine cause are appreciated or not makes no difference.

And thats not an advice rather just a suggestion. I am no one to advice anyone here on JL we people are grown up and mature:rock
 
It really touched my heart.I hope we could remember all this while fighting because when we are fighting we are at a distance from my brain as well so we just forget everything:o







Rmandaura said:
I came across a good explanation of why do we shout in anger:

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'
'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.
Finally he explained,

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'
Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'
The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

The Most Beautiful thing is to see a person smiling!!!
And Even More Beautiful is knowing that you are the reason behind it :)
Click to expand...
 
I second your thoughts Deepika ji,,,,,we should not loose our temper,,,,generally anger makes a person to loose the right track and visibility to make correct decisions

deepika said:
It really touched my heart.I hope we could remember all this while fighting because when we are fighting we are at a distance from my brain as well so we just forget everything:o
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ohhhhh...

i thought the title is: why do we (/jat) shout in anger.....:D

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return. .....:)

Mods/Admin: Please send this to all jatland members....much needed here... :)
 
Mere khayaal se jyaada distance create karne ke liye shout karte hain ladte hue,,,,,,,,,aur jab aapas mein pyaar hota hai to baat mein softness hoti hai aur usko sunne ke liye najdeek aana padtaa hai,,,,,

meri kisse gel ne ladai hogi to main usne khoob rukke maar maar ke gaali dyunga ke mere te dur hat jyaa
 
sunitahooda said:
What should be the best possible way to vent out anger/frustration for human beings?
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same question.....

usually i do not go berserk or shout.......i just distance myself from that person for few hours..till i come to senses..

PS: please provide some practical solution...
 
sunitahooda said:
What should be the best possible way to vent out anger/frustration for human beings?
Click to expand...

As per the doctors anger is very harmful for the heart and brain, so the best way is to avoid anger. I was watching a program today and the doctor said that whenever you are angry go away from the cause of anger for a while,because if you remain at the scene anger will increase.
Amit, I think your action is already practical. One should not become the cause of anger for others.
The doctors also say that suppression of anger is more harmful than venting it out.

Sachin you are really cool, rather I see all persons participating in this thread are gems of JL and their behavior has been nice.

'Mods/Admin: Please send this to all jatland members....much needed here..'


Satinder, very nice suggestion. The mods have read this thread and removed all unrelated posts. I thank them and all of you for taking this thread in the right spirit.

Keep the distance between your hearts to the minimum.
 
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Rmandaura said:
As per the doctors anger is very harmful for the heart and brain, so the best way is to avoid anger. I was watching a program today and the doctor said that whenever you are angry go away from the cause of anger for a while,because if you remain at the scene anger will increase.
Amit, I think your action is already practical. One should not become the cause of anger for others.
The doctors also say that suppression of anger is more harmful than venting it out.

Sachin you are really cool, rather I see all persons participating in this thread are gems of JL and their behavior has been nice.

'Mods/Admin: Please send this to all jatland members....much needed here..'


Satinder, very nice suggestion. The mods have read this thread and removed all unrelated posts. I thank them and all of you for taking this thread in the right spirit.

Keep the distance between your hearts to the minimum.
Click to expand...

even if i avoid scene....anger is there in me and brain processes many thoughts in meantime...good or bad.....mostly bad....its hard to even think about "heart" at that time....
Sir, thanks for answering my query.
 
Uncle ji I will just say a few things that at times the situation is such that a person has to react in anger unless that person happens to be an ascetic who has that unmatching power to control on anger. But being a commong man we generally find ourselves involving and reacting with anger.

Anger is conveying the annoyances and if the state of anger start affecting your body, mind and soul then it becomes bad for health,,,,,but if a person who is shouting and he knows that he is shouting just to show his anger and to annoy or irritate the opponent in that i case i will say that the person has won the battle without affecting his/her mental/physical health.

In last few years I have tried to adopt this quality and when i get involved in such things then I take controll of myself and say to myself that now its the other person who should feel the pinch and you just enjoy even if you are shouting at the peak of your voice:rock and results have been very positive:)

Lekin yahin par log maar khaa jaate hain,,,,,,Jai Jawan-Jai Kisaan:rock

Rmandaura said:
As per the doctors anger is very harmful for the heart and brain, so the best way is to avoid anger. I was watching a program today and the doctor said that whenever you are angry go away from the cause of anger for a while,because if you remain at the scene anger will increase.
Amit, I think your action is already practical. One should not become the cause of anger for others.
The doctors also say that suppression of anger is more harmful than venting it out.

Sachin you are really cool, rather I see all persons participating in this thread are gems of JL and their behavior has been nice.

'Mods/Admin: Please send this to all jatland members....much needed here..'


Satinder, very nice suggestion. The mods have read this thread and removed all unrelated posts. I thank them and all of you for taking this thread in the right spirit.

Keep the distance between your hearts to the minimum.
Click to expand...
 
Rmandaura said:
The doctors also say that suppression of anger is more harmful than venting it out.
Click to expand...


This is exactly what I believe on. I suppose that suppressing any emotion results into some other psychological disorder and ultimately harm a person in bigger way. The best way is to avoid the situation where we afraid of becoming angry. But if anyhow we get angry, it is better to vomit it out in some manner which is harmless to him and to others rather than suppressing it.

Dahiya Sir, We were discussing almost the same topic on some other thread named 'Law of Averages'. I hope you would like to have a look on it. :)

http://www.jatland.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26359
 
vijay said:
This is exactly what I believe on. I suppose that suppressing any emotion results into some other psychological disorder and ultimately harm a person in bigger way. The best way is to avoid the situation where we afraid of becoming angry. But if anyhow we get angry, it is better to vomit it out in some manner which is harmless to him and to others rather than suppressing it.

Dahiya Sir, We were discussing almost the same topic on some other thread named 'Law of Averages'. I hope you would like to have a look on it. :)

http://www.jatland.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26359
Click to expand...


So Vijay seems like you really want to drive home the advantage :) Kidding! :)

I kind of agree that just staying away can may be distance yourself from anger on the physical level but not on the domains of mental , emotional and spiritual level.

Each one has his/her own unique attributes so there is no universal practical solution as Sunita ji and Amit asked for. Let me share what I do ! :)

Though unconsciously but my reaction follows a two way approach , one of confrontation and the other of moving away . What I mean is that on one hand I talk with people I respect and people I know would listen to me and advice me to the right things ( lucky enough to have a few people of that class around myself ! :) ) and on the other I try to distance myself from the cause and the reasons.

The state that you are in when angered generates a lot of energy so you must at least spend that out on something .... Music , or going for a walk , jogg , exercise helps ! I remember once exhausting myself on the tread mill and at the end of the session the tears and the sweat were indistinguishable and a lot of pain was subsided! :) For calming down myself I generally listen to music I like , I listen a lot of Kabir Amritwani and that always comes to my rescue and other devotional songs and soft music. Sad songs as well but someone I respect advised against and instead suggested to listen comic songs! :)

One very crucial thing to remember is that when angered or when feeling a lot of hurt and pain , there is a huge opportunity to know "yourself" better and to "improve" yourself. That's the time to know your "resource base" ! :) That's the time you add on to your patience levels , your listening qualities , your endurance limits! Keep a check on yourself and you can see yourself turning better.

I was about to start a thread on something similar which talks about the "resource base " ( just to coin a term ) , but I guess we can talk about it here only. To me it is very important to have a strong resource base , because that will drive your life in times of the fat tails ( i.e. extremes ) especially the not so happy ones. What I mean by the resource base is the set of policies , ethics , friends and relatives , processes and practises we all must have , I am not doubting the importance of these factors in normal times but just that they get very important in times of crisis ! We each must work hard to b uild a st rong resource base so that we can always bank on it to steer us through anything!

And may be this can help a lot! ( I remind myself of this whenever I think I have had enough and can't take it more !! ) :

Bahut gayi thodi rahi , vyaakul man mat hoye
Dheeraj sabka mitra hai , kari kamaaye na khoye! :)

Gives me that lil bit more to keep myself calm and composed.




Happy to hear what others have to say on this!


Dr. Neelam ji , it's time you also start contributing! :)
 
i think it has to do somrthing with ones chemistry.i have seen ppl with high bp get angry very easily and start shouting .and ppl like me with low bp ...if i am really angry i can not spk how hard i try ,starts shaking or i simply pass out(get unconscious for few seconds).i have a tendency to low bp as well.so i think its genetic....but we should learn ways to control our reaction to situations which trigger anger.what i have figured to protect my self i just avoid that person or do not confront at that particular time.it really works.
 
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sunitahooda said:
What should be the best possible way to vent out anger/frustration for human beings?
Click to expand...
Best possible way to vent out anger/frustration is to shout in open..like khule aasman ke neeche...but remember ghar ke chat pe jaake nahi..otherwise padosi bhot marenge :p.....

Very nice words from you ..Dahiya Ji
 
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